ok id have to say not to go, cause you could buy all kinds of cool stuff with the money and id also have to say to just work, and keep workin, you could buy more stuff, maybe even get some chirstmas presents for your family but i will tell you work definatly sucks, the more menial it is the more it sucks, but money is great, and its probably worth it (and by the by if krissy is iffy, and it will just end up hurting you in the end, you could just not play ffxi and save money up and get that wicked awesome new game boy ds)
you should eat, not eating is very bad, being fat is definatly better than blacking out from lack of food while you are driving and fucking up something like your legs arms or all of you, seriously, eat, if you eat regular you will still lose weight
i could harp more
but i wont, ill leave it at that, because i suck too, if i dont get through this design summer comming up, i wont have any classes to take for arch the next semester so ill be getting a job, first place ill look will probably be at the poopy pumping plant with freddy..., if i do then ill run out of aid in one more year and have to get some other job to be able to pay for it, but thats not really close
be strong, be practicle, eat candy, dance to disco music, and watch porno in public
haha.. .public porno.. that just was.. greatness hehehe..
well.. they are probably gonna hire me.. 8.20 an hour with a dollar added in cause of the crap ass 10pm to 7am shift ill be working.. an hour for lunch and 2 15 minute breaks.. makes almost 280 a week.. not bad for me.. im thinking work 2-3 weeks. 280x3=840.. 840 will pay rent for 2 months (200) till aid, internet for 3 months(90), ffxi for 3 months(42).. pay lauren back (100).. pay my grandfather back (230) and ill have a lil extra for food and fun.. then in jan i get aid for 2000 i DONT have to ever pay back. and i might get a loan for 1000-1300 for 2 semesters, totaling (+another 2000 in summer pale grant) in the area of 6.5k in aid.. .. but with 840 or so now i could pay alota stuff off and have a lil extra. then i could quit and veg for a bit before school starts.. get myself relaxed again and calmed.
ive been way to upset lately with all the stuff going on in my life. it may not seem like alot to some ppl. "ooh. a job.. friends. someone you like.. big whoop".. well.. fresh outta HS a year ago, into college, booted from room cause roommate = punk, have to get a job.. cant find a real job. get job, pay sucks, get fired cause i dont care. wait to find another job.. dont get in school for fall, get another job.. job fire me for no reason when im between paychecks taht will guarantee me safety and a home and food and internet until aid comes.. so ivehad that to deal with.. and theres all the stuff with kami.
dont get me wrong thomas.. i do love hte girl.. more than ive really ever cared to admit to anyone. and i would love nothingmore than her to get things together in her own life and realize how much ic are and want me to.. the only problem is, she is younger than me and less mature as a whole, which means she has a harder time dealing with the stress in her life. its alot. trust me. its why im patient about this, and i dont mind being ignored from time to time. cause i know she cares and apprecaites everything ive done for her, even if she doesnt allways show it
but i also understand i need to take care of myself first.. its taken me awhile and alota time talking to kellie about it all. but. ive changed alot since HS ya know? i was always this selfish near loner that was ensecure and a lil piss ant. and ive had lapses of that from time to time over hte past year. but as a whole ive changed. im alot more caring now. i open up alot more to other people. and ive started putting other people first before me.. but.. in the same time.. ive changed something else. ive done some pretty bad things in my life you know?.. one of them was . i really hurt kami. i almost drove her to her own death w/o realizing it.. so i feel anything i get i deserve.. anything bad that happens is simply my just desserts.. anything i do to make up for it is my pennace.. so i dont mind being ignored or misused from tiem to time.. its what i deserve to be honest
and yeah.. i know.. ive strarted eatting alot more, i havent starved myself by anymeans.. ive gone maybe. i think at most about 36 hours w/o food.. but iw as fine.. was no big deal.. and ive only done that once. i have food now and i eat with mom and dad alot now.. so im taken care of. dont worry to much. im fine ^.^
and.. so you know. i dont play ffxi just for kami anymore.. i play for kellie and diane and steve and cas and. well. the list goes on.. but i have alota friends there.. and theyre just as real as you and me. theyre just far away. and they look out for me to thomas. kellie and diane and steve more than others. im glad i get to be with them. i miss you and trey alot and we need to do something soon. but i wont just ditch them. because theyve become a big part of my life. i want to go visit them all someday, have some fun, share some laughs. justl ike i do with you guys.
i used to think i moved solely for kami. and to be honest.at first. i did. i change dmy whole life for her in the blink of an eye. but its not just for her anymore. shes a large part of it. and could easily bring me to my knees if she wanted to. but i would have you and kellie and everyone else to help me stand back up and go on with my life. im glad you care though ^.^its nice to feel important.
and id also have to say to just work, and keep workin, you could buy more stuff, maybe even get some chirstmas presents for your family
but i will tell you work definatly sucks, the more menial it is the more it sucks, but money is great, and its probably worth it
(and by the by if krissy is iffy, and it will just end up hurting you in the end, you could just not play ffxi and save money up and get that wicked awesome new game boy ds)
you should eat, not eating is very bad, being fat is definatly better than blacking out from lack of food while you are driving and fucking up something like your legs arms or all of you, seriously, eat, if you eat regular you will still lose weight
i could harp more
but i wont, ill leave it at that, because i suck too, if i dont get through this design summer comming up, i wont have any classes to take for arch the next semester so ill be getting a job, first place ill look will probably be at the poopy pumping plant with freddy..., if i do then ill run out of aid in one more year and have to get some other job to be able to pay for it, but thats not really close
be strong, be practicle, eat candy, dance to disco music, and watch porno in public
Reply
well.. they are probably gonna hire me.. 8.20 an hour with a dollar added in cause of the crap ass 10pm to 7am shift ill be working.. an hour for lunch and 2 15 minute breaks.. makes almost 280 a week.. not bad for me.. im thinking work 2-3 weeks. 280x3=840.. 840 will pay rent for 2 months (200) till aid, internet for 3 months(90), ffxi for 3 months(42).. pay lauren back (100).. pay my grandfather back (230) and ill have a lil extra for food and fun.. then in jan i get aid for 2000 i DONT have to ever pay back. and i might get a loan for 1000-1300 for 2 semesters, totaling (+another 2000 in summer pale grant) in the area of 6.5k in aid.. .. but with 840 or so now i could pay alota stuff off and have a lil extra. then i could quit and veg for a bit before school starts.. get myself relaxed again and calmed.
ive been way to upset lately with all the stuff going on in my life. it may not seem like alot to some ppl. "ooh. a job.. friends. someone you like.. big whoop".. well.. fresh outta HS a year ago, into college, booted from room cause roommate = punk, have to get a job.. cant find a real job. get job, pay sucks, get fired cause i dont care. wait to find another job.. dont get in school for fall, get another job.. job fire me for no reason when im between paychecks taht will guarantee me safety and a home and food and internet until aid comes.. so ivehad that to deal with.. and theres all the stuff with kami.
dont get me wrong thomas.. i do love hte girl.. more than ive really ever cared to admit to anyone. and i would love nothingmore than her to get things together in her own life and realize how much ic are and want me to.. the only problem is, she is younger than me and less mature as a whole, which means she has a harder time dealing with the stress in her life. its alot. trust me. its why im patient about this, and i dont mind being ignored from time to time. cause i know she cares and apprecaites everything ive done for her, even if she doesnt allways show it
but i also understand i need to take care of myself first.. its taken me awhile and alota time talking to kellie about it all. but. ive changed alot since HS ya know? i was always this selfish near loner that was ensecure and a lil piss ant. and ive had lapses of that from time to time over hte past year. but as a whole ive changed. im alot more caring now. i open up alot more to other people. and ive started putting other people first before me.. but.. in the same time.. ive changed something else. ive done some pretty bad things in my life you know?.. one of them was . i really hurt kami. i almost drove her to her own death w/o realizing it.. so i feel anything i get i deserve.. anything bad that happens is simply my just desserts.. anything i do to make up for it is my pennace.. so i dont mind being ignored or misused from tiem to time.. its what i deserve to be honest
and yeah.. i know.. ive strarted eatting alot more, i havent starved myself by anymeans.. ive gone maybe. i think at most about 36 hours w/o food.. but iw as fine.. was no big deal.. and ive only done that once. i have food now and i eat with mom and dad alot now.. so im taken care of. dont worry to much. im fine ^.^
and.. so you know. i dont play ffxi just for kami anymore.. i play for kellie and diane and steve and cas and. well. the list goes on.. but i have alota friends there.. and theyre just as real as you and me. theyre just far away. and they look out for me to thomas. kellie and diane and steve more than others. im glad i get to be with them. i miss you and trey alot and we need to do something soon. but i wont just ditch them. because theyve become a big part of my life. i want to go visit them all someday, have some fun, share some laughs. justl ike i do with you guys.
i used to think i moved solely for kami. and to be honest.at first. i did. i change dmy whole life for her in the blink of an eye. but its not just for her anymore. shes a large part of it. and could easily bring me to my knees if she wanted to. but i would have you and kellie and everyone else to help me stand back up and go on with my life. im glad you care though ^.^its nice to feel important.
imma go dance and eat candy now
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