(no subject)
I should be happy but im not, i should feel some measure of accomplishment but i dont. What the hell do i have to do to feel like im getting somewhere in life? Do i have to shoot someone, go to jail, come out of jail and say "hey, at least i killed someone", thats accomplishing something sorta. Everyday feels like im missing out on something, some joyus part of life the eludes me to this haunting moment. Shit, my little brothers gonna be a father for christ sake and here i am single and working in a fucking gas station. God sometimes everything is just one big problem for me and i dont know why. Why does this never ending cycle of misery just keep me going? It could be me i guess, but what if its not? God damnit! What if this hadnt happened, what if i had done the right thing, what if i had tried harder for you, what if i had said no and stood up for myself. Im too young too feel old and bitter, make it end please. Save me!