I suppose it's about that time.
Well folks, it's been several months since I last said something of consequence, so I guess now's as good a time as any. As could be expected, things pretty much suck. I've been juggling 19 credits, 3 jobs, and a lot of emotional turbulence. I kid you not when I say that things never get better. I thought they were for a while, and they were for a while, but what can I say, I fucked that up, just like always. I have begun to believe that there very well may be some people on this earth who just can't get it right, and that I very well may be one of those people. I'm working past it. I don't need to shuffle shit to get ahead, and I don't need to get ahead. This life is not a race, and it's not a competition. I'm doing the best I can, and while I'm trying to convince myself it's good enough for me, I don't have time or emotional reserve to feel like it's not good enough for anyone else. I'm sorry it has to be that way, but either you care or you don't, and I know that may mean some of you don't, and that's fine. Maybe when I have a little more time to grow up, it'll be good enough. But for now I can only take so much disappointment, and that level has risen well past its' meniscus. I just wish, for once ever, that someone, anyone at all, would be proud of me. Say what you will, but honestly, nobody who reads this is close enough or tries to learn enough about what I'm doing to be proud of me. And anyone who gets close enough ends up running away from me, because I am clearly incapable of keeping anyone happy. I'm rambling now, but hey, it's my journal, and right now, this is exactly how I feel.
On a separate note, I'm sorry my short story lj has sort of died off. I have been so busy (and by busy I mean I pulled my first all nighter this week to finish a take home exam) that I literally have not had time. Hopefully things will calm down a bit, and I can get back to it. I miss writing like that.
Finally, I am glad that some of you have been tuning in to my radio show weekly. It means a lot that you would devote any of your time (because come on, I know we're all busy as hell) to listening to a sad guy play some silly music on the radio. It doesn't go unnoticed.
That's really all I have to say for now. I miss the carefree days, and I miss the days where I cared without it hurting.
On a separate note, I'm sorry my short story lj has sort of died off. I have been so busy (and by busy I mean I pulled my first all nighter this week to finish a take home exam) that I literally have not had time. Hopefully things will calm down a bit, and I can get back to it. I miss writing like that.
Finally, I am glad that some of you have been tuning in to my radio show weekly. It means a lot that you would devote any of your time (because come on, I know we're all busy as hell) to listening to a sad guy play some silly music on the radio. It doesn't go unnoticed.
That's really all I have to say for now. I miss the carefree days, and I miss the days where I cared without it hurting.