blabber
our song used to be one without words.
i can think about that in two ways at this point in my life.
one, the obvious one, our "love" went beyond comprehendable language: there were no words to accurately describe it.
two, our "love" wasnt tangible enough, strong enough as language is.
our song came out of the box quickly. someone had written it, we had heard it some impeccable moment, together. it was ours, we claimed it without fully claiming ourselves or one another.
i am a woman intent upon language. written lettered communication from point a to point b. the notion that my first "love" song did not have words, is either too beautiful, or too inevitable, ugly, measly, scrawny, intangible, weak.
or, maybe i just diagnosed it too early; i thought it didnt NEED words. But in fact, it did, the relationship song did. But not any KIND of words (mind you there were many words spoken: false ones, angry ones, incontent ones, labels)---
---words that meant true iloveyou.
i struggle now to write the right words. pluck them out of my hair out of my skin and say it the right way.
no one else's words will do, they dont know this feeling.
i dont have a song for this one, nor does this song have words for me. i am learning to quietly create them tangible, slowly. Maybe i'll have enough one day to organize them into the right shape - the right fit, layered with every ecstatic rythm of my skin.
i can think about that in two ways at this point in my life.
one, the obvious one, our "love" went beyond comprehendable language: there were no words to accurately describe it.
two, our "love" wasnt tangible enough, strong enough as language is.
our song came out of the box quickly. someone had written it, we had heard it some impeccable moment, together. it was ours, we claimed it without fully claiming ourselves or one another.
i am a woman intent upon language. written lettered communication from point a to point b. the notion that my first "love" song did not have words, is either too beautiful, or too inevitable, ugly, measly, scrawny, intangible, weak.
or, maybe i just diagnosed it too early; i thought it didnt NEED words. But in fact, it did, the relationship song did. But not any KIND of words (mind you there were many words spoken: false ones, angry ones, incontent ones, labels)---
---words that meant true iloveyou.
i struggle now to write the right words. pluck them out of my hair out of my skin and say it the right way.
no one else's words will do, they dont know this feeling.
i dont have a song for this one, nor does this song have words for me. i am learning to quietly create them tangible, slowly. Maybe i'll have enough one day to organize them into the right shape - the right fit, layered with every ecstatic rythm of my skin.