I think people are jaded into thinking that without their presence in my life, there could have been no love any other way. In fact, I bet I beleived that about myself for a very long time
( Read more... )
all of you forget to realize.. that i spent a year and a half of my life taking care of this poor broken girl.. imagine yourself dealing with a girl deeply distressed.. obviously traumatized, and night terrors, sudden mood swings.. PTSD had nothing on this girl.. all of you forget to realize.. that i was the first one to care enough to do anything about it.. for 9 months.. as a mere 18 yr old.. i tried with all i could, to make this girl safe and happy.. Tracy did nothing.. Micha did nothing.. every friend at Immaculate heart.. didnt even blink an eye.. whether that was her choice or not.. im not sure.. but for 9 months we slept in my car.. for 9 months i stayed with her until she fell asleep.. ever cent i ever earned went to her.. because i honestly didnt want her spending her money on frivolous ventures.. i wanted her to save her money for college.. and though i cant remember every detail.. i would drive down to LA everyday.. and treat her to whatever she wanted.. somethings that even i didnt want to do.. she knew i hated the beach.. be we went everytime she wanted.. do you all realize how depressing that is?.. to live with someone growing less and less in love with you.. and just plain dependent? of course i delt with this by eating.. eating .. she would yell.. scream.. i would cry and eat.. i gained nearly 30 lbs.. i weighed 200 by the end of it all.. but i did it all for her.. not once did i complain.. just said i loved her.. with all my heart.. supported her.. financially and emotionally cared for her.. does no one see my plight here?.. imagine being in love with someone for a year and a half.. and in the 2 months that you're apart.. they fuck someone else... before they even commit to them.. but beyond that.. they live with you.. they come to your home to inform you.. you as their ex.. as their roomate.. as their "love" .. that hey.. guess what.. im fucking someone.. "does that make you mad?" were her exact words.. "am i good in bed" - Christine (12:30 pm) "uhhhh, why?, are you fucking someone" - Brian "noooooooooOOOOO" - Christine "oh so you are?" - Brian "yeah.. does that make you mad?" - Christine WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK you just made our love null and void.. yes.. her life hard.. and i tried my very best to help her through a year and a half of it.. and it all meant nothing.. she loves my parents.. not me.. she loves Eric.. the person she fucked no less than 2 months after our break-up the part that hurt the most.. is that she never felt remorse.. she never felt bad for breaking my heart.. she moved on from me.. months before we broke up.. but she failed to inform me.. all she would do.. is tell me we were going to break up.. when she went to college.. how strange is that.. she loves you right?.. she says it.. all the time.. but she wont even try a long distance relationship she told jamie.. her best friend at the time.. that she didnt even want to try.. i of course had to find out from Jamie.. christine would never say something so honest to me.. it hurt more than any of you can imagine.. and all you do is say I can go to hell?.. ME? the person who did nothing but LOVE this girl!.. Nothing but make her the most important person in my life.. and im the fuck? im the asshole?
PTSD had nothing on this girl..
all of you forget to realize.. that i was the first one to care enough to do anything about it.. for 9 months.. as a mere 18 yr old.. i tried with all i could, to make this girl safe and happy..
Tracy did nothing..
Micha did nothing..
every friend at Immaculate heart.. didnt even blink an eye..
whether that was her choice or not.. im not sure..
but for 9 months we slept in my car.. for 9 months i stayed with her until she fell asleep..
ever cent i ever earned went to her.. because i honestly didnt want her spending her money on frivolous ventures.. i wanted her to save her money for college..
and though i cant remember every detail.. i would drive down to LA everyday.. and treat her to whatever she wanted.. somethings that even i didnt want to do.. she knew i hated the beach.. be we went everytime she wanted..
do you all realize how depressing that is?.. to live with someone growing less and less in love with you.. and just plain dependent?
of course i delt with this by eating.. eating .. she would yell.. scream.. i would cry
and eat..
i gained nearly 30 lbs.. i weighed 200 by the end of it all..
but i did it all for her.. not once did i complain.. just said i loved her.. with all my heart..
supported her.. financially and emotionally
cared for her..
does no one see my plight here?.. imagine being in love with someone for a year and a half.. and in the 2 months that you're apart.. they fuck someone else... before they even commit to them..
but beyond that.. they live with you..
they come to your home to inform you.. you as their ex.. as their roomate.. as their "love" .. that hey.. guess what.. im fucking someone.. "does that make you mad?" were her exact words..
"am i good in bed" - Christine (12:30 pm)
"uhhhh, why?, are you fucking someone" - Brian
"noooooooooOOOOO" - Christine
"oh so you are?" - Brian
"yeah.. does that make you mad?" - Christine
WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK
you just made our love null and void..
yes.. her life hard..
and i tried my very best to help her through a year and a half of it..
and it all meant nothing..
she loves my parents.. not me..
she loves Eric.. the person she fucked no less than 2 months after our break-up
the part that hurt the most.. is that she never felt remorse.. she never felt bad for breaking my heart..
she moved on from me.. months before we broke up.. but she failed to inform me.. all she would do.. is tell me we were going to break up.. when she went to college..
how strange is that.. she loves you right?.. she says it.. all the time.. but she wont even try a long distance relationship
she told jamie.. her best friend at the time.. that she didnt even want to try.. i of course had to find out from Jamie.. christine would never say something so honest to me..
it hurt more than any of you can imagine..
and all you do is say I can go to hell?.. ME?
the person who did nothing but LOVE this girl!.. Nothing but make her the most important person in my life..
and im the fuck? im the asshole?
Reply
Leave a comment