(no subject)
I dreamed.
Weird. Camp was a hotel-like place but there was also text messaging and big bill boards that reminded me of Second Life. There were weird discussions and pseudo-wars. There were homeless people sleeping in the stands of a stadium that I've been to and that felt really familiar but that I can't place. (I think the stadium might have been connected to the Colosseum from Jumper which I watched Saturday.) Some of these homeless people had physical problems and were in wheel chairs and couldn't talk very well and one guy was in this really tall wheelchair and had a copper-colored sleeping bag over him. I climbed up into the stadium to see the sun rise. There were a few people from the party I went to last Friday and they were showing me around the place and I said, "But I've been here 5 years, 7 seven sessions [I had trouble remembering the numbers] and this is my last year." I felt confused and worried and like something had changed behind my back as I said it. Something had ended - like it was the last day of camp or something - and me and a few other people had to clean up this attic space that was a combination of the attic in my house in Wisconsin and the attic of the garage in Chehalis...both of which were my sister's room at one point. Then it was late at night and there was soft, warm light and some of us were sitting on the floor and some of us were lying on the couches and we were all quite and calm. Then a black mouse appeared and then several other mice and they were fearless! One of their tales got caught in my toes! There was amusing screaming and jumping about but no one was truly afraid. Then some cats showed up and totally started gulping the mice down. The mice totally didn't run away, either, and I remember seeing the tail of a mouse hanging out of a cat's mouth. And there was this one huge mouse that looked more like a chipmunk and I don't think the cats ever caught him. Scary. My parents were getting divorced, which was terrifying in that way that only dreams can summon up. And I went to my dad, who was packing boxes full of his thick political books because he was moving away, and told him to take me with him that I wanted to be with him and not my mom. Weird. Sexual. A real person from camp was in the dream and we were sleeping next to each other in a big line of people in sleeping bags under the stars/in a living room depending on the moment. We were both groggy with sleep. I reached out to him and he asked "What?" and we almost kissed (the light was suddenly soft and warm and are faces very close) but I just said, "Nothing, sorry" and turned away knowing that I shouldn't be doing that. (This is reminiscent of something that happened on a livingroom floor a year and a half ago and also connects with what I've been thinking lately about relationships/boys etc). Amusing. The Janitor from Scrubs was totally worked there. At camp. This is what happens when I watch several Scrubs episodes right before bed... I asked him how long he'd been cleaning at camp. He said he'd been there pretty much the whole time and I thought about that with the same fuzzy wonder I do in real life when I think about camp happening in '96. Feelings. Anxiety, fear, upset about what was happening, loss of control, wonder, wanting to explore...a lot of things. Things I didn't feel: happy, calmly sad, excited, energetic.
Wow...I never write my dreams down - probably because I don't dream that much and when I do they're crazy and disconnected versions of my real life and don't feel meaningful. I started this post just to write the bit about the Janitor. Huh. I remembered so much more once I got to writing...
Weird. Camp was a hotel-like place but there was also text messaging and big bill boards that reminded me of Second Life. There were weird discussions and pseudo-wars. There were homeless people sleeping in the stands of a stadium that I've been to and that felt really familiar but that I can't place. (I think the stadium might have been connected to the Colosseum from Jumper which I watched Saturday.) Some of these homeless people had physical problems and were in wheel chairs and couldn't talk very well and one guy was in this really tall wheelchair and had a copper-colored sleeping bag over him. I climbed up into the stadium to see the sun rise. There were a few people from the party I went to last Friday and they were showing me around the place and I said, "But I've been here 5 years, 7 seven sessions [I had trouble remembering the numbers] and this is my last year." I felt confused and worried and like something had changed behind my back as I said it. Something had ended - like it was the last day of camp or something - and me and a few other people had to clean up this attic space that was a combination of the attic in my house in Wisconsin and the attic of the garage in Chehalis...both of which were my sister's room at one point. Then it was late at night and there was soft, warm light and some of us were sitting on the floor and some of us were lying on the couches and we were all quite and calm. Then a black mouse appeared and then several other mice and they were fearless! One of their tales got caught in my toes! There was amusing screaming and jumping about but no one was truly afraid. Then some cats showed up and totally started gulping the mice down. The mice totally didn't run away, either, and I remember seeing the tail of a mouse hanging out of a cat's mouth. And there was this one huge mouse that looked more like a chipmunk and I don't think the cats ever caught him. Scary. My parents were getting divorced, which was terrifying in that way that only dreams can summon up. And I went to my dad, who was packing boxes full of his thick political books because he was moving away, and told him to take me with him that I wanted to be with him and not my mom. Weird. Sexual. A real person from camp was in the dream and we were sleeping next to each other in a big line of people in sleeping bags under the stars/in a living room depending on the moment. We were both groggy with sleep. I reached out to him and he asked "What?" and we almost kissed (the light was suddenly soft and warm and are faces very close) but I just said, "Nothing, sorry" and turned away knowing that I shouldn't be doing that. (This is reminiscent of something that happened on a livingroom floor a year and a half ago and also connects with what I've been thinking lately about relationships/boys etc). Amusing. The Janitor from Scrubs was totally worked there. At camp. This is what happens when I watch several Scrubs episodes right before bed... I asked him how long he'd been cleaning at camp. He said he'd been there pretty much the whole time and I thought about that with the same fuzzy wonder I do in real life when I think about camp happening in '96. Feelings. Anxiety, fear, upset about what was happening, loss of control, wonder, wanting to explore...a lot of things. Things I didn't feel: happy, calmly sad, excited, energetic.
Wow...I never write my dreams down - probably because I don't dream that much and when I do they're crazy and disconnected versions of my real life and don't feel meaningful. I started this post just to write the bit about the Janitor. Huh. I remembered so much more once I got to writing...