fuckkkkkk
Well this is my second time typing this all up because livejournal hates me and I wrote some shit about not knowing about somethings and that Japanese Americans have the highest suicidal rate in American and that next year during school I am trying to achieve and Japanime appearence..
And that I'm a dip shit and no one cares...
I had a little lyric piece I wrote but I can't remember it and I really don't give a shit to try to remember all the fucking details..
I'm sick of myself now.. I hate summer because all I do is sit around because no one else will talk to me. and I think... and I hate when I think because I spend too much time thinking and being alone... I'm always alone now, I have no one.. I wish I could... but there's always something blocking it... I've spent a few of my nights talking to Sarah and I enjoy our conversations... but I hate the fact that she lives in Texas... and the person I like isn't in the city...
I'm sorry... I'm depressed and I can't help believing in something that will kill me...
I wanted to attack my father today because he was telling me I shouldn't waste HIS ink on my poetry that might further advance into something that I use to support his unmannerful ass even though the only thing I'll pay for him is to put him down.. I don't give a shi.... I'm so sick of everything I do...
I've thrown up twice today but I don't know what it's from cause I havn't eaten anything today...
And I've been trying to point myself into fixing up my personal appearence to take my mind off of the rest of me for awhile... I'm starting to get abs (the top 4) for now, I've been running at night and around 5am each morning... and practicing driving everyday...
My brother's beginning to get happy again probably cause he found a girl that he likes and he's on a date with her right now at her house... whle I'm laying in his room using his computer charger...
I wonder if I had blood going through my hair, if you could tell it was blood if not just my hair... and I want a car right now..so I hate the age I'm in right now.. on the verge of cardom yet I havn't any.
And I've been thinking about my cousin's new baby was just discover to have "Progeria" which makes the childs skin not expand the way it's supposed to and they end up looking like they are in their 70s or 80s when they are actually just little children... and she will die by the time she is 14.... They have all the diseases that old people contract such as arthiritis as children as well...Progeria Look around on that site to see what they look like..
As well as that disease.. I've been thinking about my brother and I having cancer... parts of me are wishing that I had it, and other parts are saying no.. but I wish my brother won't have it... It'd be better if it went to me instead of him if it did one of us.. he's living and happy, he doesn't let things get him down like I do.. I can't stand the way I think
I think that's enough of my minds thoughts to hand over... good night...to everyone that can sleep
EH FUCK IT THE OTHER ONE DECIDED TO ACTUALLY GO THROUGH NOW... I hate livejournal...
And that I'm a dip shit and no one cares...
I had a little lyric piece I wrote but I can't remember it and I really don't give a shit to try to remember all the fucking details..
I'm sick of myself now.. I hate summer because all I do is sit around because no one else will talk to me. and I think... and I hate when I think because I spend too much time thinking and being alone... I'm always alone now, I have no one.. I wish I could... but there's always something blocking it... I've spent a few of my nights talking to Sarah and I enjoy our conversations... but I hate the fact that she lives in Texas... and the person I like isn't in the city...
I'm sorry... I'm depressed and I can't help believing in something that will kill me...
I wanted to attack my father today because he was telling me I shouldn't waste HIS ink on my poetry that might further advance into something that I use to support his unmannerful ass even though the only thing I'll pay for him is to put him down.. I don't give a shi.... I'm so sick of everything I do...
I've thrown up twice today but I don't know what it's from cause I havn't eaten anything today...
And I've been trying to point myself into fixing up my personal appearence to take my mind off of the rest of me for awhile... I'm starting to get abs (the top 4) for now, I've been running at night and around 5am each morning... and practicing driving everyday...
My brother's beginning to get happy again probably cause he found a girl that he likes and he's on a date with her right now at her house... whle I'm laying in his room using his computer charger...
I wonder if I had blood going through my hair, if you could tell it was blood if not just my hair... and I want a car right now..so I hate the age I'm in right now.. on the verge of cardom yet I havn't any.
And I've been thinking about my cousin's new baby was just discover to have "Progeria" which makes the childs skin not expand the way it's supposed to and they end up looking like they are in their 70s or 80s when they are actually just little children... and she will die by the time she is 14.... They have all the diseases that old people contract such as arthiritis as children as well...Progeria Look around on that site to see what they look like..
As well as that disease.. I've been thinking about my brother and I having cancer... parts of me are wishing that I had it, and other parts are saying no.. but I wish my brother won't have it... It'd be better if it went to me instead of him if it did one of us.. he's living and happy, he doesn't let things get him down like I do.. I can't stand the way I think
I think that's enough of my minds thoughts to hand over... good night...to everyone that can sleep
EH FUCK IT THE OTHER ONE DECIDED TO ACTUALLY GO THROUGH NOW... I hate livejournal...