Suicide, Salvation, Absurdity
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What a month this has been for me. I won't go into too much detail here, but I will give you the basic synopsis.
A friend of mine is in despair. He attempted suicide three times this month, twice nearly successfully, and after a week in hospital ICU and an arrest, he was finally given some psychological aid via the Baker Act. For some reason, he decided to involve me personally in his attempts. I suppose because I have had inclinations of the sort and he felt I was empathetic to his frame of mind. But after this whole exasperating few weeks has passed, I have come to rest on the opinion that it is good that we are all still here, and just maybe we can work our ways through the ugly hurdles we are facing.
Immediately following these episodes, another friend contacted me about her own suicidal thoughts. (It would seem I am the one folks feel they should come to when they are feeling this way.) I want to point out that I do not have the answers or solutions to other people's problems. I can't even find solutions to my own. However, I can say (from experience) that my moments of despair have always eventually passed, and between each have been moments of great joy. As you might guess, I really like having joyous occurrences in my life. Joy has an amazing counter-effect on despair!
This all made me start to wonder what my lifelines had been. I began to think about why I have always managed to overcome feelings of despair when friends of mine have not. The proverbial lightbulb flashed. Absurdity! The one thing that has held my philosophy in life relatively glued is absurdity. Absurdity creates a backdrop which can not be reasoned with. Since most despair comes from attempting to reason with the irrational aspects of living, the realization that there is no way to reason with the irrational frees us from the resulting despair.
True, I do not always put this theory into practice, and that is when I begin to worry and succumb to the fear and sadness that sometimes is so desperate. However, I have made an observation that my own absurdity has been reinforced by connections I have maintained which my suicidal friend does not have. In fact, I consider my life as a thread woven into the whole fabric of absurdity. This makes me smile.
Right now, I am going to make some tea and play Chuzzle. And I will smile. And, at least for tonight, I will not worry.
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FCGST (sensory mode absurd)
What a month this has been for me. I won't go into too much detail here, but I will give you the basic synopsis.
A friend of mine is in despair. He attempted suicide three times this month, twice nearly successfully, and after a week in hospital ICU and an arrest, he was finally given some psychological aid via the Baker Act. For some reason, he decided to involve me personally in his attempts. I suppose because I have had inclinations of the sort and he felt I was empathetic to his frame of mind. But after this whole exasperating few weeks has passed, I have come to rest on the opinion that it is good that we are all still here, and just maybe we can work our ways through the ugly hurdles we are facing.
Immediately following these episodes, another friend contacted me about her own suicidal thoughts. (It would seem I am the one folks feel they should come to when they are feeling this way.) I want to point out that I do not have the answers or solutions to other people's problems. I can't even find solutions to my own. However, I can say (from experience) that my moments of despair have always eventually passed, and between each have been moments of great joy. As you might guess, I really like having joyous occurrences in my life. Joy has an amazing counter-effect on despair!
This all made me start to wonder what my lifelines had been. I began to think about why I have always managed to overcome feelings of despair when friends of mine have not. The proverbial lightbulb flashed. Absurdity! The one thing that has held my philosophy in life relatively glued is absurdity. Absurdity creates a backdrop which can not be reasoned with. Since most despair comes from attempting to reason with the irrational aspects of living, the realization that there is no way to reason with the irrational frees us from the resulting despair.
True, I do not always put this theory into practice, and that is when I begin to worry and succumb to the fear and sadness that sometimes is so desperate. However, I have made an observation that my own absurdity has been reinforced by connections I have maintained which my suicidal friend does not have. In fact, I consider my life as a thread woven into the whole fabric of absurdity. This makes me smile.
Right now, I am going to make some tea and play Chuzzle. And I will smile. And, at least for tonight, I will not worry.
°
FCGST (sensory mode absurd)