Random post is random...
My attempt to write a new post every week has gone by the wayside but on the other hand I'm slowly dismantling my external commitments in such a way that I might actually be able to be focused on any one thing. And I'm not giving up the plan, just picking up and starting again.
My honours is dropping to one subject (3 essays to write in the next three weeks); I'm slowly handing off work at my day-job and I'm very intermittent at the radio.
I've been pretty fugued (no memory of what I've done day-to-day) for most of the last month with too much on my plate and a really strong inability to say no to what seem to be reasonable requests. This is coupled with a strong desire to seem sane to people I've only just met but I think I should be allowed to say that I'm sick. That I've got a long-term illness which means I've got less spoons. Sometimes, though, I'm not sure that it's that I've got less spoons but rather that I think I've always got more spoons than most people expect to have.
I love being busy and focused, I love that feeling of exhaustion-stress where I've just got to do the next thing and then at the end will be something awesome. I've done a couple of those this year (Taurean dinner part for 9 in < week; Workshop on blog design) but I feel like I've done less and less each year. Plus OMG the not getting to see people, to have friendships that aren't intermittent things that happen every six months. I think I remember those, some of you were there, right? We did things, right? I studied, was sick, and saw people, right?
So TL;DR: I'm starting to pull up out of my long dive, I hope, and like a phoenix from the ashes, I'm going to be better. (Yes, I'm telling myself this!)
PS Samhain this week in the SH (at least the way our family does it: full moon in Taurus) and I'm thinking it's a good time to burn a candle and burn away a bunch of the bad stuff and bury the seeds for Yule and spring next year. <3
My honours is dropping to one subject (3 essays to write in the next three weeks); I'm slowly handing off work at my day-job and I'm very intermittent at the radio.
I've been pretty fugued (no memory of what I've done day-to-day) for most of the last month with too much on my plate and a really strong inability to say no to what seem to be reasonable requests. This is coupled with a strong desire to seem sane to people I've only just met but I think I should be allowed to say that I'm sick. That I've got a long-term illness which means I've got less spoons. Sometimes, though, I'm not sure that it's that I've got less spoons but rather that I think I've always got more spoons than most people expect to have.
I love being busy and focused, I love that feeling of exhaustion-stress where I've just got to do the next thing and then at the end will be something awesome. I've done a couple of those this year (Taurean dinner part for 9 in < week; Workshop on blog design) but I feel like I've done less and less each year. Plus OMG the not getting to see people, to have friendships that aren't intermittent things that happen every six months. I think I remember those, some of you were there, right? We did things, right? I studied, was sick, and saw people, right?
So TL;DR: I'm starting to pull up out of my long dive, I hope, and like a phoenix from the ashes, I'm going to be better. (Yes, I'm telling myself this!)
PS Samhain this week in the SH (at least the way our family does it: full moon in Taurus) and I'm thinking it's a good time to burn a candle and burn away a bunch of the bad stuff and bury the seeds for Yule and spring next year. <3