Unfinished art and waiting on mortality
It's a weird season for me right now. I've spent the last few months (well, since early April) turning my life upside-down, to get myself out of a rut. It's been interesting. One of the results has been a renewed creative desire. Not that I was much of a slacker before, but having old interests resurrected is kind of cool.
The last couple of weeks, however, have been rather side-tracked by family matters.
Basically, my mother is in a final decline, it seems. She's located in Houston, and my younger sister and her family have lived with Mom and taken care of her. I'm in LA, my brother is in Philadelphia, and my older sister near Detroit. My work situation is such that I can't pick up and be in Houston for however long remains. So I wait. Mom has been senile for some time, so my presence or absence at this time won't register with her, and I accept that. My brother is going down this weekend, to attend to some of the business. But I and my older sister just wait. I won't go into all the "matters of faith" here, but just say that other than the grief of losing one I love, I am at peace with this pending passing. But the waiting is hard, a distraction, an emotional upset that has no present resolution but rather sits under the surface waiting for the least trigger.
I try for distractions. And do take delight in the ones I get. Such as completing a surprise for some friends recently. I gleefully anticipate the reactions. But I can't burble about it until the surprise has been sprung.
In the meantime, I did promise to upload an image of the uncompleted painting I unearthed recently. So here it is --
The last couple of weeks, however, have been rather side-tracked by family matters.
Basically, my mother is in a final decline, it seems. She's located in Houston, and my younger sister and her family have lived with Mom and taken care of her. I'm in LA, my brother is in Philadelphia, and my older sister near Detroit. My work situation is such that I can't pick up and be in Houston for however long remains. So I wait. Mom has been senile for some time, so my presence or absence at this time won't register with her, and I accept that. My brother is going down this weekend, to attend to some of the business. But I and my older sister just wait. I won't go into all the "matters of faith" here, but just say that other than the grief of losing one I love, I am at peace with this pending passing. But the waiting is hard, a distraction, an emotional upset that has no present resolution but rather sits under the surface waiting for the least trigger.
I try for distractions. And do take delight in the ones I get. Such as completing a surprise for some friends recently. I gleefully anticipate the reactions. But I can't burble about it until the surprise has been sprung.
In the meantime, I did promise to upload an image of the uncompleted painting I unearthed recently. So here it is --