Empathy part 19
Title: Empathy
Part: 19/?
Author: smudgedblue_x
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, they're JKR's.
Dedications: To everyone who replied to the previous parts.
Author's Note: Marauders, RemusxSirius. Not sure where it'll go, but plotbunnies should never be ignored.
[Part 18]
“Hey you…” Sirius ruffled Remus’ hair, kissing the place his fingers had just left. Remus didn’t respond, so Sirius tightened his hold around Remus for a minute or two, tilting his head sideways and resting his cheek on the top of Remus’ head. After a moment, Sirius lifted Remus’ head up to face his own, and tear filled eyes gazed back at him, “Oh Remus…”
Remus wiped his eyes, “I’m sorry, Pads.”
“Whatever for?” Sirius asked, looking kindly at Remus. Remus’ voice cracked and broke as he spoke, “For getting you into this mess…if you hadn’t had been protecting me…”
“Moony, I’d be a lot worse off without you. It is not your fault, you hear me?”
Tears ran down Remus’ cheeks, and Sirius moved a hand up, using his thumb to wipe away Remus’ lukewarm tears.
“Come here…” Sirius murmured, “Come here Re…” and took Remus into his arms again. “Don’t you ever think it’s your fault…I love you and I won’t let you blame yourself.”
Remus stopped himself from crying, wiping his tears furiously, and then relaxed against Sirius on the armchair. “I’m sorry Sirius just, don’t know what came over me…”
“Its you I’m worried about, Remus…you won’t have me as Padfoot to ease your full moon nights anymore and I am sorry for that…”
Remus moved back, and looked up at Sirius, “No, its you that matters, Sirius, I’m used to it but its gonna be tough on you. I know what you’ll go through, and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody, and it tears my heart out to think because of knowing me, you’ll have to suffer this.”
Remus cupped his palm round Sirius’ neck, rubbing his thumb against Sirius’ cheek, “Because I care for you and all I ever wanted was to keep you from harm…”
Sirius gazed at Remus, leaning towards him, their lips almost touching. Sirius spoke quietly, “Just tell me what its like Remus…I want to know…and anyway, at least I’ll be able to be there for you more having known and experienced what you go through every month first hand…”
Remus took Sirius’ hands in his, and whispered from lips millimetres from Sirius’ own, “Its horrible, Sirius, but you’ll be okay… you have to be okay because if you’re not you won’t be able to get through…that’s how it is for me…but Sirius you have me, you don’t have to pretend to be okay to me, not ever…” he brushed his lips against Sirius’, before continuing, “Its like coming out of your own skin, it hurts, its painful, like the pain you couldn’t imagine, its like uncomfortable, stretching, incessant pain…you don’t remember much of the actual time you’re a werewolf…it’s the worst part though, Padfoot, not knowing what happened, not knowing what you’ve done, not being in control, and then waking up later with the scars, the sickness, the guilt…”
Sirius could feel Remus’ tears against his cheeks as he kissed Remus, “Hey… I’m sorry for making you do this.” Sirius squeezed Remus’ hands.
Remus swallowed and tried to control his voice, “No its okay…s’okay… I had to tell you how it feels, you have to know.”
Sirius wrapped his arms round Remus, leaning a head sideways on his shoulder, “I know.”
Part: 19/?
Author: smudgedblue_x
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: I don't own the characters, they're JKR's.
Dedications: To everyone who replied to the previous parts.
Author's Note: Marauders, RemusxSirius. Not sure where it'll go, but plotbunnies should never be ignored.
[Part 18]
“Hey you…” Sirius ruffled Remus’ hair, kissing the place his fingers had just left. Remus didn’t respond, so Sirius tightened his hold around Remus for a minute or two, tilting his head sideways and resting his cheek on the top of Remus’ head. After a moment, Sirius lifted Remus’ head up to face his own, and tear filled eyes gazed back at him, “Oh Remus…”
Remus wiped his eyes, “I’m sorry, Pads.”
“Whatever for?” Sirius asked, looking kindly at Remus. Remus’ voice cracked and broke as he spoke, “For getting you into this mess…if you hadn’t had been protecting me…”
“Moony, I’d be a lot worse off without you. It is not your fault, you hear me?”
Tears ran down Remus’ cheeks, and Sirius moved a hand up, using his thumb to wipe away Remus’ lukewarm tears.
“Come here…” Sirius murmured, “Come here Re…” and took Remus into his arms again. “Don’t you ever think it’s your fault…I love you and I won’t let you blame yourself.”
Remus stopped himself from crying, wiping his tears furiously, and then relaxed against Sirius on the armchair. “I’m sorry Sirius just, don’t know what came over me…”
“Its you I’m worried about, Remus…you won’t have me as Padfoot to ease your full moon nights anymore and I am sorry for that…”
Remus moved back, and looked up at Sirius, “No, its you that matters, Sirius, I’m used to it but its gonna be tough on you. I know what you’ll go through, and I wouldn’t wish it on anybody, and it tears my heart out to think because of knowing me, you’ll have to suffer this.”
Remus cupped his palm round Sirius’ neck, rubbing his thumb against Sirius’ cheek, “Because I care for you and all I ever wanted was to keep you from harm…”
Sirius gazed at Remus, leaning towards him, their lips almost touching. Sirius spoke quietly, “Just tell me what its like Remus…I want to know…and anyway, at least I’ll be able to be there for you more having known and experienced what you go through every month first hand…”
Remus took Sirius’ hands in his, and whispered from lips millimetres from Sirius’ own, “Its horrible, Sirius, but you’ll be okay… you have to be okay because if you’re not you won’t be able to get through…that’s how it is for me…but Sirius you have me, you don’t have to pretend to be okay to me, not ever…” he brushed his lips against Sirius’, before continuing, “Its like coming out of your own skin, it hurts, its painful, like the pain you couldn’t imagine, its like uncomfortable, stretching, incessant pain…you don’t remember much of the actual time you’re a werewolf…it’s the worst part though, Padfoot, not knowing what happened, not knowing what you’ve done, not being in control, and then waking up later with the scars, the sickness, the guilt…”
Sirius could feel Remus’ tears against his cheeks as he kissed Remus, “Hey… I’m sorry for making you do this.” Sirius squeezed Remus’ hands.
Remus swallowed and tried to control his voice, “No its okay…s’okay… I had to tell you how it feels, you have to know.”
Sirius wrapped his arms round Remus, leaning a head sideways on his shoulder, “I know.”