Reflections
so, for some reason I randomly remembered this entry i wrote a long time ago, and I wanted to go find it. Which of course means that I took a very lovely (um) trip down memory lane and was reading some entries from back in 2007.
And while I know that as I get older I'll always think that I was immature a few years before (like I'm sure if I'm reading this in a year or so even, I'll think I sounded like an idiot), but man, STFU is what I was thinking the whole time. Complaints, complaints, complaints. Cries for help, all these entries of me craving for attention, like, "please comment on this post because I'm sad and I think of killing myselffff". Ugh whatever girl, pull it together.
At the same time, I know that if me in 2007 read what I just wrote, I would have been like, "you bitch! you will never understand ~**~depression~*~", not knowing how completely immature I was (and once again, probably still am). Let me just address something though, about livejournal, and blogs in general:
1. Anyone who starts a blog wants to be heard.
2. This means that anyone who writes in a blog wants feedback.
3. THIS means, that everybody, no matter who you are, if you write an entry in a blog, you want comments. Right now, I want comments. And I'd like to think that I'm just ~so~ beyond that. But I'm not. Remember rules 1-3.
So, let me give me-in-2007 a chance here. Yes, I wrote so that I could get attention. But so does everyone else who writes in a blog. It doesn't mean that my ~depression~ was not legitimate, or that I wasn't suffering horribly. I definitely was. I DEFINITELY was. So when I say, "girl, pull it together", I mean, "please, get over yourself and grow some balls"
Okay, I know. That still sounds pretty heartless. I'm not exactly sure how to express what I feel about this in short, concise words and I don't want to ramble. To be truthful, I still suffer from not having balls sometimes and being a complete whino, but the positive is that I'm not complaining to no one in particular. I complain to people who care about me (even if I can only count them on one hand, that's okay too) and when they feel bad, hopefully they do the same to me.
To sum it up, me in 2007 would have said this:
Life's a bitch and then you die.
And me now, says:
Yeah, life can be a total bitch but sometimes you need to suck it up and remember that it moves on, and so should you.
Alright, now I'm going to go blow my nose and take a shower, because just because I have a horrible cold and its already 1 PM doesnt means that I can't get dressed, do my laundry, and make out with my (also sick) boyfriend.
:)
(okay, maybe I'll stay in my pajamas a little longer, but you don't have to know that)
And while I know that as I get older I'll always think that I was immature a few years before (like I'm sure if I'm reading this in a year or so even, I'll think I sounded like an idiot), but man, STFU is what I was thinking the whole time. Complaints, complaints, complaints. Cries for help, all these entries of me craving for attention, like, "please comment on this post because I'm sad and I think of killing myselffff". Ugh whatever girl, pull it together.
At the same time, I know that if me in 2007 read what I just wrote, I would have been like, "you bitch! you will never understand ~**~depression~*~", not knowing how completely immature I was (and once again, probably still am). Let me just address something though, about livejournal, and blogs in general:
1. Anyone who starts a blog wants to be heard.
2. This means that anyone who writes in a blog wants feedback.
3. THIS means, that everybody, no matter who you are, if you write an entry in a blog, you want comments. Right now, I want comments. And I'd like to think that I'm just ~so~ beyond that. But I'm not. Remember rules 1-3.
So, let me give me-in-2007 a chance here. Yes, I wrote so that I could get attention. But so does everyone else who writes in a blog. It doesn't mean that my ~depression~ was not legitimate, or that I wasn't suffering horribly. I definitely was. I DEFINITELY was. So when I say, "girl, pull it together", I mean, "please, get over yourself and grow some balls"
Okay, I know. That still sounds pretty heartless. I'm not exactly sure how to express what I feel about this in short, concise words and I don't want to ramble. To be truthful, I still suffer from not having balls sometimes and being a complete whino, but the positive is that I'm not complaining to no one in particular. I complain to people who care about me (even if I can only count them on one hand, that's okay too) and when they feel bad, hopefully they do the same to me.
To sum it up, me in 2007 would have said this:
Life's a bitch and then you die.
And me now, says:
Yeah, life can be a total bitch but sometimes you need to suck it up and remember that it moves on, and so should you.
Alright, now I'm going to go blow my nose and take a shower, because just because I have a horrible cold and its already 1 PM doesnt means that I can't get dressed, do my laundry, and make out with my (also sick) boyfriend.
:)
(okay, maybe I'll stay in my pajamas a little longer, but you don't have to know that)