(no subject)
this
was a huge turning point in my life .. and i know nobody ever reads
this so thats why i dont care if this isnt interesting but i couldn't
help just .. i dont know i loved this comment sophia more than anything
in the world.. and yeah i think you should all read her comment and
learn from it ...
who even knows who i am? i was talk'n to one of the most intelligent friends i have ...john... someone i've always been able to tell everything and anything. i told him ... one of the horrible this about me, that i have different personalitys for different people. which is gross because i talk about how i hate fake people ... when im the most phoney person i could posibly think of. i mean sure there i few things about that never change like the fact that i love attention in big crowds of people and i love skittles no matter who's around but like my opinon on things change with any person like ... i agree with people way more than i should i mean the sad part is i truly and honestly belive that i agree but then say im with another friend and its like oop oh well. and i try and talk my way out of it to like i just blow anything with any true meaning ... i wish i didn't but i do. i just have differen't personalitys for differen't people. and my friend john told me ... everyone does...its because people have an underlying desire to please other people and make other people happy. most people take it to the point of altering their personalities to adapt to different people. but you cant live like that, because once you see everyone together, youll be trying to make every single person happy, and putting every single person before yourself. and though its good to make other people happy, its never a good thing if you cant be happy with yourself. i could never figure out why couldn't put my self first. i always think of other people like always ... but know i do im to busy maken other people happy ... but its all for my self, to make other people happy so i can be happy but within maken other people happy just do whatever they want me to be whatever they want me to be ... or whatever i think they want me to be. i had my two best friends over today abbey spoon and quinn welling and just before they left abbey made me realize how fake i am. not intentionally of coarse but she can just call out any one. its one of her many talents, she just knows people, how they think, how they are, and when there fake ... its really kinda cool like she knows when people get upset ... shes just a people person... i love her soooo much ... but she never fails to make me realized how ... fake i am ... shes just a seriously real person but my friend quinn ... i've never really felt like my self as much as i have with quinn shes just soooo much like me (the reall me) its freaky sometimes. and i guess its like i don't ever feel like i need to impress her i mean shes me! why the heck would i change for me? she so trusting of me even if i've let her down before she still trusts me ... like with secrets and like litteral, today me her and abbey were playing out in the street and i must of droped quinn 5 times out in the street but she still trusted me to catch her agin. even though i let her down. that just makes me feel so good... because shes always there for me even if i am a compelet screw up. my point to all this is that... no matter how true i am to people i haven't once been compelety true to my self... its like i just need to start over... you know? i feel like i need a fresh personality but thats just like bein on stage you get a new charater and thats what i wanna get rid of! being on stage acting like i ALWAYS have to act i can't be my self it i even knew what that was... i wish i could be like other people ... and be misserible and sad about normal teenage things ... but im not. i love school. i love my family. i love friends. which is what everybody else wines about in there lj's... but not me ... i only wish i had that... but honestly its horrible to not even know who you are. if all you are is, what you think people want you to be... i mean what the heck!!! honestly like god honest things about me ... i don't like to use swear words, i do it to show off, though i swear as in (i swear blah blah) alot like i will swear on anything even if i don't belive it ... i think it has somethin to do with me bein so freakin fake all the time... and i love people ... famliy, friends, evebody. and i love attention from those people(negative or positive). i ask quinn if im fake ... like 5 times, she always says no i wonder is she lyin? because honesly she knows me more than anyone on the earth, other than my like my mom... and she doesn't think im fake ... i mean come on quinn, im so freakin phoney i don't stand by anything i say! its so hard to break the the little shell i've put myself in ... i mean i've become so comfortable with it. i can just go up to anybody and talk to them no matter what i have such a comfort level with people and i just don't wanna change ... i just wish i could be my self for once ... wow i bet thats gettin really annoying and repetative. so im just gonna stop because who the heck wants here it anyways im sorry for being true to people and i honesly don' even realize it why can't i just stick with one of many personalites hannah rae deese
just my own little insight... _maniacblacsac_ oh my gawd hannah. i do not think you're fake at all. and if you think you are.. its just a figment of your imagination. everyone is like that. EVERYONE. and at some point in everyone's life you try really hard to not be fake to everyone and only be one person. but it simply is not possible. and don't wish you had problems in your life.. i love that you feel so okay about yourself and that you always seem so happy.. truthfully and honestly.. i go to school to see you smile.. and whenever im sad and i hide it.. i love to be around you.. you always make me smile.. maybe you have more than one personality.. but its a normal human instinct to change around people you feel less or more comfortable around. and the whole being fake thing.. i reallyl think its all in your mind. but if you feel that you need to change yourself and just be who you think you are.. or be who you like yourself being.. then everyone should and will be behind you. i don't think you need to change because i think you're awesome x10000. im so glad that you feel like you have a friend who will always be there for you.. quinn is awesome. and you two are perfect for each other. it must feel great to have a friend regardless of anything. hold on to what you have.. and if you feel that you need to be true to the person that you like yourself being.. then i'll be behind you.. so will quinn and abbey.. and everyone else.. you're awesome hannah. :-)
who even knows who i am? i was talk'n to one of the most intelligent friends i have ...john... someone i've always been able to tell everything and anything. i told him ... one of the horrible this about me, that i have different personalitys for different people. which is gross because i talk about how i hate fake people ... when im the most phoney person i could posibly think of. i mean sure there i few things about that never change like the fact that i love attention in big crowds of people and i love skittles no matter who's around but like my opinon on things change with any person like ... i agree with people way more than i should i mean the sad part is i truly and honestly belive that i agree but then say im with another friend and its like oop oh well. and i try and talk my way out of it to like i just blow anything with any true meaning ... i wish i didn't but i do. i just have differen't personalitys for differen't people. and my friend john told me ... everyone does...its because people have an underlying desire to please other people and make other people happy. most people take it to the point of altering their personalities to adapt to different people. but you cant live like that, because once you see everyone together, youll be trying to make every single person happy, and putting every single person before yourself. and though its good to make other people happy, its never a good thing if you cant be happy with yourself. i could never figure out why couldn't put my self first. i always think of other people like always ... but know i do im to busy maken other people happy ... but its all for my self, to make other people happy so i can be happy but within maken other people happy just do whatever they want me to be whatever they want me to be ... or whatever i think they want me to be. i had my two best friends over today abbey spoon and quinn welling and just before they left abbey made me realize how fake i am. not intentionally of coarse but she can just call out any one. its one of her many talents, she just knows people, how they think, how they are, and when there fake ... its really kinda cool like she knows when people get upset ... shes just a people person... i love her soooo much ... but she never fails to make me realized how ... fake i am ... shes just a seriously real person but my friend quinn ... i've never really felt like my self as much as i have with quinn shes just soooo much like me (the reall me) its freaky sometimes. and i guess its like i don't ever feel like i need to impress her i mean shes me! why the heck would i change for me? she so trusting of me even if i've let her down before she still trusts me ... like with secrets and like litteral, today me her and abbey were playing out in the street and i must of droped quinn 5 times out in the street but she still trusted me to catch her agin. even though i let her down. that just makes me feel so good... because shes always there for me even if i am a compelet screw up. my point to all this is that... no matter how true i am to people i haven't once been compelety true to my self... its like i just need to start over... you know? i feel like i need a fresh personality but thats just like bein on stage you get a new charater and thats what i wanna get rid of! being on stage acting like i ALWAYS have to act i can't be my self it i even knew what that was... i wish i could be like other people ... and be misserible and sad about normal teenage things ... but im not. i love school. i love my family. i love friends. which is what everybody else wines about in there lj's... but not me ... i only wish i had that... but honestly its horrible to not even know who you are. if all you are is, what you think people want you to be... i mean what the heck!!! honestly like god honest things about me ... i don't like to use swear words, i do it to show off, though i swear as in (i swear blah blah) alot like i will swear on anything even if i don't belive it ... i think it has somethin to do with me bein so freakin fake all the time... and i love people ... famliy, friends, evebody. and i love attention from those people(negative or positive). i ask quinn if im fake ... like 5 times, she always says no i wonder is she lyin? because honesly she knows me more than anyone on the earth, other than my like my mom... and she doesn't think im fake ... i mean come on quinn, im so freakin phoney i don't stand by anything i say! its so hard to break the the little shell i've put myself in ... i mean i've become so comfortable with it. i can just go up to anybody and talk to them no matter what i have such a comfort level with people and i just don't wanna change ... i just wish i could be my self for once ... wow i bet thats gettin really annoying and repetative. so im just gonna stop because who the heck wants here it anyways im sorry for being true to people and i honesly don' even realize it why can't i just stick with one of many personalites hannah rae deese
just my own little insight... _maniacblacsac_ oh my gawd hannah. i do not think you're fake at all. and if you think you are.. its just a figment of your imagination. everyone is like that. EVERYONE. and at some point in everyone's life you try really hard to not be fake to everyone and only be one person. but it simply is not possible. and don't wish you had problems in your life.. i love that you feel so okay about yourself and that you always seem so happy.. truthfully and honestly.. i go to school to see you smile.. and whenever im sad and i hide it.. i love to be around you.. you always make me smile.. maybe you have more than one personality.. but its a normal human instinct to change around people you feel less or more comfortable around. and the whole being fake thing.. i reallyl think its all in your mind. but if you feel that you need to change yourself and just be who you think you are.. or be who you like yourself being.. then everyone should and will be behind you. i don't think you need to change because i think you're awesome x10000. im so glad that you feel like you have a friend who will always be there for you.. quinn is awesome. and you two are perfect for each other. it must feel great to have a friend regardless of anything. hold on to what you have.. and if you feel that you need to be true to the person that you like yourself being.. then i'll be behind you.. so will quinn and abbey.. and everyone else.. you're awesome hannah. :-)