it's over?
ugh. it just hit me. like a death in the family, i just realized how different things are going to be in the ever so near future.
new friends, new classes, new teachers, new hallways, new classrooms.
how did it happen so fast? just when i was starting to enjoy my situation, my surroundings, something like this has to happen. i guess it's the fact that im leaving for orientation tomorrow. im just scared. scared that i won't make friends, scared that im not prepared, scared that im going to repeat mistakes made in high school. everything is now more serious, more competitive, more open, more of my responsibility. it's like ive always known laundry and other chores take time and such, but i never actually worried that id be bound to do them. or rather i knew id have to do them eventually but i never actually factored in the time it would stand in my schedule. all this wk i kept telling myself id do the laundry the next day, then the next day, and finally when i was out of clean clothes i washed them. that's not a good sign.
managing time is only a part of the package ive just received. waking up for classes, making new friends, doing things before the night they're actually due...ugh, it hurts just to think about it. we're older i keep telling myself, this happens to everyone. but the more i look at it, the more i see that im farther behind than everyone else. why? why can't i focus and accomplish things i try to accomplish. i suppose i can thank karate for helping my improve some of these behaviors as it's given me much more self discipline. but not enough. needs more work
the more i look at it, the more i think it was a mistake to go to gatech rather than uf. why? more friends, no money...but this is the route ive taken. im gonna stick to it. give it my best. no more slacking. i need to be more self assertive. introduce myself to girls rather than standing in the back thinking im going to attract them instead. lol. yea, im not that deluded but i suppose to some extent that's been something of a factor in my idiotic brain.
waking up. something i've relied (sp?) on here and there from my parents. not a good habit. im scared, worried rather that ill carry some of my bad habits such as sleeping later than i need to on with me to college and as a result...miss a class. then there's the professor. not caring whether we're in class or not. not learning our names. im just not used to that so im nervous. again the extroverted side of me needs to poke his head out farther in this instance.
finally there's the meeting ppl and friends part. im sad now. it's the impact of the crash as i realize that most of my good friends who ive grown accustomed to seeing in the stanton hallway won't be with me this fall. they won't be walking along and yelling out or giving me high fives. there won't be another multi where ppl are yelling "go david lu!" lol. sry, im just gonna miss it and i want everyone who reads my journal to kno that. im gonna miss you guys so much like u're a part of me but i won't be with u guys anymore. i kno there's always online and happy greetings all over the place. but the joking in the classrooms, the meandering around in the halls and chatting.
ive got the best friends anyone could hope for and im grateful. im going to miss all of you guys so much i just hope everything will work out of u. only the best. peace, leave a line.
new friends, new classes, new teachers, new hallways, new classrooms.
how did it happen so fast? just when i was starting to enjoy my situation, my surroundings, something like this has to happen. i guess it's the fact that im leaving for orientation tomorrow. im just scared. scared that i won't make friends, scared that im not prepared, scared that im going to repeat mistakes made in high school. everything is now more serious, more competitive, more open, more of my responsibility. it's like ive always known laundry and other chores take time and such, but i never actually worried that id be bound to do them. or rather i knew id have to do them eventually but i never actually factored in the time it would stand in my schedule. all this wk i kept telling myself id do the laundry the next day, then the next day, and finally when i was out of clean clothes i washed them. that's not a good sign.
managing time is only a part of the package ive just received. waking up for classes, making new friends, doing things before the night they're actually due...ugh, it hurts just to think about it. we're older i keep telling myself, this happens to everyone. but the more i look at it, the more i see that im farther behind than everyone else. why? why can't i focus and accomplish things i try to accomplish. i suppose i can thank karate for helping my improve some of these behaviors as it's given me much more self discipline. but not enough. needs more work
the more i look at it, the more i think it was a mistake to go to gatech rather than uf. why? more friends, no money...but this is the route ive taken. im gonna stick to it. give it my best. no more slacking. i need to be more self assertive. introduce myself to girls rather than standing in the back thinking im going to attract them instead. lol. yea, im not that deluded but i suppose to some extent that's been something of a factor in my idiotic brain.
waking up. something i've relied (sp?) on here and there from my parents. not a good habit. im scared, worried rather that ill carry some of my bad habits such as sleeping later than i need to on with me to college and as a result...miss a class. then there's the professor. not caring whether we're in class or not. not learning our names. im just not used to that so im nervous. again the extroverted side of me needs to poke his head out farther in this instance.
finally there's the meeting ppl and friends part. im sad now. it's the impact of the crash as i realize that most of my good friends who ive grown accustomed to seeing in the stanton hallway won't be with me this fall. they won't be walking along and yelling out or giving me high fives. there won't be another multi where ppl are yelling "go david lu!" lol. sry, im just gonna miss it and i want everyone who reads my journal to kno that. im gonna miss you guys so much like u're a part of me but i won't be with u guys anymore. i kno there's always online and happy greetings all over the place. but the joking in the classrooms, the meandering around in the halls and chatting.
ive got the best friends anyone could hope for and im grateful. im going to miss all of you guys so much i just hope everything will work out of u. only the best. peace, leave a line.