when we're apart...something something...greatest part of me...
that was supposed to be lyrics to a song, but i couldnt remember how the song goes. which is fine, cuz its a shitty song anyway. but my point is this. i was highly considering quitting livejournal a little while back. BUT, i didn't...which is probably for the best. so here it goes...
for the last month or so i've been nostalgic like i've never been before. it's like i need to see the people i grew up with...people from high school, and my family...and i wonder how much of this has to do with the death of my grandpa a month ago, or just me being crazy, but those people have never meant more to me...even the ones who might think i've forgotten about them completely, or who have forgotten about me completely, not the least of which includes almost everyone who has me on their livejournal friends list.
i dunno, i guess, i've never felt more like an adult than i have for the last several months, and its been...real, in the words of the great ryan korth. i dunno where i heard this, but recently, i heard someone say that life wasnt what they thought, it was much "bigger" than she'd realized...and that kinda stuck with me, as i usually think of individual life as pretty insignificant. in the last year, my life is certainly grown in remarkable ways. my best friends are scattered throughout the continent.
i had this idea recently, that our lives are like a sketch in a book, and around childhood and high school its just being shaded in and colored. as we get older, the colors and lines get shaded in deeper, bolder, and darker...the bright and the dark patches become more starkly contrasting with every year. pretty simple i know, but thats the best description i can come up with for how i've felt lately. i dont miss high school...but damn do i miss some of my friends there, seeing them every day, and knowing i would see them again the next day. i sometimes think i'm all wrong for this era. i think i'm too attached to things for the pace of modern day life.
its funny, cuz i know i've never been happier, and what i'm missing is something that never really existed the way it does in my mind anyway...but...well... i guess what i'm sayin is thanks, guys. thanks for better memories than i could ever ask for. we're all pretty much adults by now...at least physically, and stuff is getting intensely real...and i just needed to say thanks, to everyone, for some crazy-good memories
for the last month or so i've been nostalgic like i've never been before. it's like i need to see the people i grew up with...people from high school, and my family...and i wonder how much of this has to do with the death of my grandpa a month ago, or just me being crazy, but those people have never meant more to me...even the ones who might think i've forgotten about them completely, or who have forgotten about me completely, not the least of which includes almost everyone who has me on their livejournal friends list.
i dunno, i guess, i've never felt more like an adult than i have for the last several months, and its been...real, in the words of the great ryan korth. i dunno where i heard this, but recently, i heard someone say that life wasnt what they thought, it was much "bigger" than she'd realized...and that kinda stuck with me, as i usually think of individual life as pretty insignificant. in the last year, my life is certainly grown in remarkable ways. my best friends are scattered throughout the continent.
i had this idea recently, that our lives are like a sketch in a book, and around childhood and high school its just being shaded in and colored. as we get older, the colors and lines get shaded in deeper, bolder, and darker...the bright and the dark patches become more starkly contrasting with every year. pretty simple i know, but thats the best description i can come up with for how i've felt lately. i dont miss high school...but damn do i miss some of my friends there, seeing them every day, and knowing i would see them again the next day. i sometimes think i'm all wrong for this era. i think i'm too attached to things for the pace of modern day life.
its funny, cuz i know i've never been happier, and what i'm missing is something that never really existed the way it does in my mind anyway...but...well... i guess what i'm sayin is thanks, guys. thanks for better memories than i could ever ask for. we're all pretty much adults by now...at least physically, and stuff is getting intensely real...and i just needed to say thanks, to everyone, for some crazy-good memories