What's that? "Update in a few days," I said? NO IDEA WHAT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT.
I must say, before I start this, that I was kind of happy that everyone noticed how sketchy Ivan really was. ESPECIALLY SINCE I'VE BEEN PLAYING THIS GAME FOR YEARS AND I JUST NOTICED IT THIS TIME. Why I am so slow. In other news I'll try to actually respond this time. derp.
Alright, show on the road and all that. GO BE SKETCHY IVAN
About as non-invasive as reading a twelve-year-old's seekrit diary
Let's go ahead and hotkey this since I'll be using this all the damn time
WAIT WHAT YOU JUST SAID--
you're just asking for an ass kicking, kid
BUT WILL THEY BREAK THE FOURTH WALL FOR THE DEVELOPER?!
wait we're doing what now
A CLUE A CLUE
Just going to completely skip over Suspicious-looking-purple-man for a minute, don't mind me.
you're a mood-killer, dog
just slowly back away ivan and don't make eye contact run now
Well, I guess we know where we're going after this. BUT WHY?
It's a terrible scary place filled with zombies. ZOMBIES
OH, YE OF LOOSE MORALS
YEAH, IT TOTALLY WOULD SUCK. WE MIGHT HAVE TO HAVE A HIGH-SPEED CHASE SCENE UPSTAIRS.
NNNNNNNNAIIIIIIILED IT
bravo team this is alpha team they're avoiding our attacks
THEY'RE GETTING AWAY GET THEM FIRST
yeah guys you suck at this
well maybe if you weren't moving at a slow crawl this would go a bit better
what is this logic you speak of
assume the bouncer stance garet
THOSE FIENDS
I wonder why.
wait didn't you say "us"
GARET WHY DO YOU ALWAYS MAKE ME DO EVERYTHING
this is suspicious
somebody's not getting sexings tonight
THIS IS A WIERD THING TO HAVE IN THE ATTIC I MUST SAY
but i must say this is quite alarming good sirs
WOAH!
man that was intense.
EVERY PUZZLE HAS AN ANSWER
oops
are you trying to tell me he actually forded that river
AND MADE IT?!
whoops
Well, if they're noble, then--
oh
HOW ABOUT I KICK YOU IN THE DICK AND APOLOGIZE FOR IT
IT'D BE COOL RIGHT RIGHT
:|
BRING IT LITTLE MAN
FIRST BOSS BATTLE FUCK YEAH
Which obviously means we unload everything possible on these guys
Ivan's going to be our Jupiter adept, so he has all sort of lighting and wind psynergy. And he's fast as hell.
In fact, as far as I remember, it's pretty rare that he doesn't go first.
Bitches throwing smoke bombs at me >:|
oh so scary
gdksbgldsbg
welp, there's one down. This would probably go a lot faster if I had Isaac and Garet focus melee on the minions and then the other guy, but PSHAW
See, I think this is working quite nicely
NO STOP DOING THAT YOU ASSHOLE
Pretty much this entire time the main guy's been either glowering or using herbs.
yeah, this battle is a cakewalk
FALCOOOOOOOON PAUUUUUUNCH
wait just kidding he did something
EXPLOSIONS!
ow
HUTTAH
Oooh, nice stat gains all around and a special sword! DIS MUST BE MY RUCKY DAY
THAT'S THE POWER OF THE KEYBLADE
but you didn't even do anything besides bitch and be tied up
OH GOOD I WASN'T TOO SURE ABOUT THAT
I don't know what I'd do without Garet's Episodic Moral Lesson.
garet.
that's a FANTASTIC idea Ivan. :|
oh, them. right.
YOU DICK YOU SAID YOU WOULDN'T DO IT AGAIN
i'll allow it
man's got a point
OH YOU
cue terrible 70s porn music
make sure to think of us
IN PRISON
Must be ugly if he's that unenthusiastic about it.
teehee i knew i forgot to check one place
How does he know that it's not the dog's bone or something? I BEGIN TO SUSPECT YOU, MAYOR
Man I think I'd steal from everybody and be a dick too if I had a name like that
HEY HAMMET YOUR KID CALLED ABOUT YOUR KIDNAPPING TODAY. I TOLD THAT BITCH TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT
...or, if my sidequest sensors are still working right, until we go and rescue him.
SHIT YEAH REWARDS
what
WORST TOWN EVER PACK YOUR STUFF GARET WE'RE GOING HOME
i mean what a nice town i believe we'll stay a bit
...I can't really be mad at Ivan. I really can't.
Ivan stop that it's getting awkward really I mean it
awkwaaaaaaaaard
STOP THAT
NO, DON'T LEAVE ME RESIDENT SHOTABAIT
I mean jesus this has required sidequest written all over it.
:(
So we lost our third party member and it's back to just Isaac and Garet. Lame.
I'm sure that bragging to the townsfolk will make me feel better at least!
/preen
This makes no sense whatsoever. GB2 adventure game philosophy class.
actually it was me I knew I forgot to find the other place that got something stolen. All we missed was the head priest going all like RIGHTEOUS FURY HOW DARE HEATHENS STEAL FROM THE SANCTUM.
Same old, same old, really.
YEAH HERE WE GO
SUPRISINGLY USEFUL. These are the typical revive items. If I remember correctly, we don't see these in stores for a while, and when we do, they're something around 2000 gold. Take into account that we've been getting like 3 gold from scrounging around on average and that you're buying new equipment from stores all the fucking time, AND that you don't get a revive spell for a VERY long time and that's if you mess around with djinni combinations, and you begin to want to horde these things.
Since I hardly die, I hardly use them anyways! :D Did I cover this already? I can't remember anymore!
Since you mentioned it, obviously.
What I learned from talking with animals:
- Dogs think Deep Thoughts. Also like bones.
GOD WE'RE AWESOME
oh you son of a bitch you're next
Anyways. Now to mess with equipment. Here's the sword we got from fighting the bandits, obviously, and it's got a pretty sweet power that will keep it around for a while.
And stat raising items. Garet is slow as a bitch, so he gets practically all the mints in the game.
Raising it by 4 is NOT BAD. Especially since these are pretty rare themselves. :|
And time to blow my money at the stores. You'll see that with the item prices and what we get back for them that's very easy to do. :|
a-at least they're good stat increases?
For the more expensive things, you get Game Tickets as a little consolation thing. Like the medals, these don't get used for a very long time, but it's best to horde them until you do. So we'll let Garet hold on to them for now.
So, we're done with Vault!
ONWARDS, BRAVE ADVENTURERS!
God I'm just happy to be out into the actual game. With actual encounters and not SOL SANCTUM SOL SANCTUM. Now it's just going to be CAVES CAVES CAVES CAVES oh and a lighthouse. maybe.
AND NOW FOR THE CLICHE COUNTER!
CLICHE COUNTER!
- Character's peasant village beset by tragedy!
- Main Character loses at least one parent!
- Main Character is fated to save the world, and no one else can do it what are you talking about!
- Main Character brings along childhood friend!
- Girl gets kidnapped!
- People with actual portraits? ALWAYS IMPORTANT
Again, add any if you feel like.
Next episode: CAVES CAVES CAVES
AND I'LL TRY TO ACTUALLY MAKE THESE THINGS ONE PART I SWEAR!
AND GET THEM OUT SOONER!