LMAO!!!!!!
Santa Claus
North Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Elvin's Office party. It was Christina who spiked the punch with too much beer. I can't help it if I drank 8 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like armpit.
I thought it was funny when I put Nessa's boxers on my head and danced the disco on the computer desk while singing `sweet child of mine'. I didn't mean to break Ashley's vibrator and don't know why Elvin would accuse me of hooking.
I don't remember calling jason's wife a horny donkey---even though she looked like one with orange eye shadow and blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on mom's husband's nipples, it was only because I ate too much of that chicken heart.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my beetle through my neighbor's toilet. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a pussy sucking giraffe and have me arrested for indecent exposure!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all smooth and dickless. And I'm really not to blame for any of this motherfuckin stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and fucking yours,
gabby (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 769 bucks!
North Pole, Earth
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl.
It really wasn't my fault what happened at Elvin's Office party. It was Christina who spiked the punch with too much beer. I can't help it if I drank 8 glasses. It was so good---smelled and tasted just like armpit.
I thought it was funny when I put Nessa's boxers on my head and danced the disco on the computer desk while singing `sweet child of mine'. I didn't mean to break Ashley's vibrator and don't know why Elvin would accuse me of hooking.
I don't remember calling jason's wife a horny donkey---even though she looked like one with orange eye shadow and blue lipstick!
And when I threw up on mom's husband's nipples, it was only because I ate too much of that chicken heart.
After all that fun, I admit I was a little tired. So I fell asleep on my way home and drove my beetle through my neighbor's toilet. I don't think that was any reason for my neighbor to call me a pussy sucking giraffe and have me arrested for indecent exposure!
So, Santa...here I sit in my jail cell on Christmas Eve, all smooth and dickless. And I'm really not to blame for any of this motherfuckin stuff. Please bring me what I want the most---bail money!
Sincerely and fucking yours,
gabby (Really a nice girl!)
P.S. It's only 769 bucks!