fic: love, canadian style

[screamlet]

Title: Love, Canadian Style
Fandom: ST RPF
Pairing: Nimoy/Shatner
Rating: R (mostly language)
Word Count: ~4420
Summary: This is like, at least two different fics that together add up to a fucking epic Shatnoy first-time thing.

Comments

[vellum]

i was yours when bill said "pussy," i was yours when leslie had common sense, i was yours at That need reminded him that he may be shallow, stupid, narcissistic, cruel, awkward, fatter every day, unsuccessful, obnoxious, a total joke, and a thousand other awful things, but Bill knew the value of someone like Leonard and that put him ahead in the game., i was yours once i saw you pop up on my flist.

AHHHHHHH DE! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH DE!!!

okay, so back when pamela anderson and tommy lee were together (i could be getting my celebrities wrong), pamela anderson wanted these special fries from the w hotel restaurant, but they were closed and you could only get them via room service, so tommy lee got a room for the night, so she could have her fries, and i thought that was the most romantic thing ever. and then the beds were fucking hilarious. and omg. the bedtub is just so. fucking. adorable.

so when i kidnap you via gunpoint zachary quinto-style (but not really, because 1) arm strain, and 2) typing fic on this end requires both fucking hands) we're gonna get married and have a little house on the beach where you go takatakataka all the time, okay?

[screamlet]

akjsdf AWWW ♥ ♥ ♥

I had no idea about the Pamela and Tommy Lee thing, or maybe I read it somewhere years and years ago and like, internalized it?!! Rich people are always doing crazy shit to show their affection! I'm glad the bedtub was adorable and not just RIDICULOUS. Well, you know, okay, both, I hope.

Can you do his tonal switches? Going from YOU FUCKING BITCH to I have sisters :D in a split second? Because you won't need a gun in that case! Stockholm Syndrome, baby!

[vellum]

yesss i'll be like DO YOU WANT A FUCKING SANDWICH I'M MAKING SOME, hey, let's go shoe shopping.

i also really like -- because you keep talking such pitsvinik -- this isn't turning you on as much as I'd hoped. and still love de.

[screamlet]

OH GOOD ME TOO thanks for helping with that, INTERNET.

Deeeeeeeee omfg. Why can't I remember what fucking book it was in, where he REALLY didn't talk to Bill for TWO YEARS because Bill laughed at his chihuahua dying!! HERE IT IS. It must have been in Up Till Now? Anyway. Deeeeeeeee.

[vellum]

OH MY FUCKING GOD I THOUGHT BILL WAS A TOTAL DOUCHE FOR LAUGHING AT HIS DOG DYING BUT I THOUGHT IT WAS THE DOG THAT WAS IN THE PICTURE WITH THE TORTOISE

I DID NOT KNOW CAUSE OF DEATH WAS A SPRINKLER OR THAT IT WAS A CHIHUAHUA

I LAUGHED TOO *HANDSFACE* OH MY GOD I AM A HORRIBLE HUMAN BEING

[screamlet]

I KNOW I KNOW I'M LAUGHING TOO WE ARE GOING TO A SPECIAL SECTION OF HELL WHERE CHIHUAHUAS ARE 60 FEET TALL AND WILL EAT US ALIVE KAJHFJA BSASAKDHJKSA BUT IT'LL STILL BE FUNNY!!!!!!

[indiwise]

I'll pack the cooler for our handbasket...