Bother
Title:
Bother
Summary: I want to tell you that everything will be okay. But I can’t, I’ve never lied to you before and I’m not about to start. And if only my voice would work, I would tell you so many things. But I know it's too late...
Status: Complete [01 Chapter]
A/N: This was my first ever attempt at writing a Good Charlotte fan fic. 'Tis a songfic. This story
Dedication: My socks, cuz they rock so hard I can't stand.
Disclaimer: *shhh* let me tell you a secret. I own Benji, Billy, and Paul. I'm still working on capturing Joel. The three of them are hidded in my room waiting for me in my bed. *rolls eyes* Not mine, never will be and that fact doesn't really bother me.
The song used for this is Bother by Stone Sour. And if you believe that I own that too... then I'm a little worried for you.
I used to always watch you, my eyes barely ever leaving your figure. So similar, we were. One and the same, but two different people at the same time. One body, two minds… Or was it two bodies one mind? I can’t quite recall… it’s been so long since I’ve felt that connection with you. I miss the connection. I miss the way it felt when you and I could read one another’s minds. Throughout our entire lives, from the time we were conceived until we grew up. I always knew you were there for me, and you knew that I was going to be there for you. God, can you even understand how much I miss that? My own brother, my mirror-fucking image, the one who sits before me. You’re so close that I could reach out my hand and touch you… And here I am missing you…
Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
It kills me to see you looking at me. Your eyes were eyes once full of love, eyes that displayed such happiness. Your eyes would have met mine in a second and we would share a few special minutes able to fully comprehend what as going inside the other. Now… now I lift my eyes to meet yours and you avert them from my gaze. The love dulled and then died, the happiness replaced by a hollowness that is all too familiar. It scares me, it scares me to death that your emotions might run dry like his.
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds
Staring at you, you won’t meet my gaze. An awkward silence engulfs us whenever we’re alone. At least when Paul and Billy are here we can pretend. We can pretend that everything is okay. We can pretend that we haven’t partaken of the forbidden fruit, the very reason that as you sit in front of me right now neither of us is sure what to say. And I miss you. I can’t get over how fucking much I miss you when you’re a foot away from me. I know you feel it too. It’s the way you glance nervously at me when you think that I don’t see. It’s the way that your lips turn down slightly in a frown and your brow creases in concentration. It’s the way you look at the clock longing for time to stand still the same way that I wish it would as well.
Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
Do you remember? Do you remember how sweet it was the first time? Or have you numbed yourself far too much to relive that night? Sitting here I would refresh your memory if only I could speak. I would tell you everything detail for detail. She broke your heart just like I told you she would. You came to me crying, looking for comfort. You told me that I was the only one you could every truly love, I was the only one that you could allow yourself to completely trust. I knew that you were telling the truth, you weren’t just speaking because of a broken heart. I knew because it’s the same for me with you. Then you looked at me and I told you everything would be okay. And it would be okay, I would never lie to you.
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying
I would never take back what happened after that. Soft touch for soft touch, lips trailing over a seemingly endless sea of flesh, finger tips dancing upon unfamiliar skin that wasn’t unfamiliar at the same time… everything was perfect. At first our hands and bodies were the only things that met, lips were too intimate and were saved only if it was to continue. When your lips met mine I almost died. I would have died of happiness right there. You undressed me and I undressed you. I’ve never felt anything like I did that night as you stared into my eyes and called out my name when you couldn’t take anymore as I thrust into you hitting your spot over and over again. The expression of pure love and ecstasy on your face when my hand wrapped around you and helped to finish you off has been embedded into my mind for all of eternity. Pulling out of you, you sighed and smiled up at me. There was no look of uncertainty, no questions as to whether or not what we did was sick or wrong. You wrapped your arms around me and told me you loved me. We both fell asleep.
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds
We were like two little kids with a secret that no one else could ever know. No one would ever have guessed such a thing. Secret looks, stolen moments and heated kisses when no one could see. I have never felt so entirely sure about anything or anyone in my life as I did about us and about you. Everything was perfect. But those days didn’t last. You grew tired of keeping us a secret, you wanted so badly to tell the world how happy you were and who it was that made you happy. Don’t think that I don’t understand, because I do more than anything in the whole world. I would love more than anything for everyone to have been okay and accepting of it. But we knew that they wouldn’t be, they couldn’t be. There was no way that they would ever understand. They wouldn’t want to. I hated to hear you cry at night when you thought I was sleeping, our relationship being the cause for your sadness. I was convinced that we would be okay…
Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries
But then he found out. I can still physically feel every blow he punished me with as if it were happening again at this very moment. And I can mentally feel every blow that you received. I blocked you for the most of it. I wouldn’t let him hurt you, let him take me but dear God just let him leave you be. He told us how sick we were. Every hurtful word I’d ever known and ones I’d never even been exposed to poured from his mouth and wounded us like venom in an open cut. He told us that we were no sons of his. That hurt worse than any vile thing he could have ever shouted to us, more than any kick or punch he tried to break us with. He left after that. Mom, Sarah and Josh never knew that’s why dad left. We would never tell, we didn’t want them to hate us the way that he did.
And you don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds
I can remember how hard you cried and for how long. We went through a rough patch. Many more followed after that but no matter what we had one another. That was the source of our comfort and the source of our pain. The one thing that could make us feel whole was the one thing that was most forbidden. It seemed like forever before I saw you smile again, and when I did I was overjoyed. I convinced myself that everything would be okay from then on. We needed to share our secret with everyone, so we took the chance of telling Billy and Paul. They wouldn’t claim to even try and understand it but somehow they knew that we were the only things keeping each other from falling to pieces.
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I'll never live down my deceit
And here we are now… a complete mess. The glue has come undone and the pieces have fallen to the floor. Our eyes finally meet and I reach out to touch your hand. You don’t flinch like I’m some kind of poison. A small smile. How long has it been since I’ve seen you smile all the way to your eyes? Far too long. I missed you, and here you are before me. You’re back again. I won’t even question how long you’ll be the person I’ve always known. You come and go far too often for me to even try and comprehend. I don’t think you even know. But I do know that if you could, you would be my twin more often. It’s just that sometimes the outside gets to you and you’re not sure what to do with yourself or how to act. I know you question everything now… I question it all too. But I try and be strong for us as I hold you in my arms and you let a few tears escape. And I want to tell you that everything will be okay. But I can’t, I’ve never lied to you before and I’m not about to start. And if only my voice would work, I would tell you so many things. You’re far too beautiful a person to fall. Don’t let them kill you Benji, please don’t let them kill you. But I know that it’s too late. You’re dying inside and it’s all my fault.
Note: To review this story, click the "Find Something Wrong" icon and type away. Praise & Flames welcome. Type whatever. Hell, even add me to your LJ friend's list.
Bother
Summary: I want to tell you that everything will be okay. But I can’t, I’ve never lied to you before and I’m not about to start. And if only my voice would work, I would tell you so many things. But I know it's too late...
Status: Complete [01 Chapter]
A/N: This was my first ever attempt at writing a Good Charlotte fan fic. 'Tis a songfic. This story
Dedication: My socks, cuz they rock so hard I can't stand.
Disclaimer: *shhh* let me tell you a secret. I own Benji, Billy, and Paul. I'm still working on capturing Joel. The three of them are hidded in my room waiting for me in my bed. *rolls eyes* Not mine, never will be and that fact doesn't really bother me.
The song used for this is Bother by Stone Sour. And if you believe that I own that too... then I'm a little worried for you.
I used to always watch you, my eyes barely ever leaving your figure. So similar, we were. One and the same, but two different people at the same time. One body, two minds… Or was it two bodies one mind? I can’t quite recall… it’s been so long since I’ve felt that connection with you. I miss the connection. I miss the way it felt when you and I could read one another’s minds. Throughout our entire lives, from the time we were conceived until we grew up. I always knew you were there for me, and you knew that I was going to be there for you. God, can you even understand how much I miss that? My own brother, my mirror-fucking image, the one who sits before me. You’re so close that I could reach out my hand and touch you… And here I am missing you…
Wish I was too dead to cry
My self-affliction fades
Stones to throw at my creator
Masochists to which I cater
It kills me to see you looking at me. Your eyes were eyes once full of love, eyes that displayed such happiness. Your eyes would have met mine in a second and we would share a few special minutes able to fully comprehend what as going inside the other. Now… now I lift my eyes to meet yours and you avert them from my gaze. The love dulled and then died, the happiness replaced by a hollowness that is all too familiar. It scares me, it scares me to death that your emotions might run dry like his.
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds
Staring at you, you won’t meet my gaze. An awkward silence engulfs us whenever we’re alone. At least when Paul and Billy are here we can pretend. We can pretend that everything is okay. We can pretend that we haven’t partaken of the forbidden fruit, the very reason that as you sit in front of me right now neither of us is sure what to say. And I miss you. I can’t get over how fucking much I miss you when you’re a foot away from me. I know you feel it too. It’s the way you glance nervously at me when you think that I don’t see. It’s the way that your lips turn down slightly in a frown and your brow creases in concentration. It’s the way you look at the clock longing for time to stand still the same way that I wish it would as well.
Wish I was too dead to care
If indeed I cared at all
Never had a voice to protest
So you fed me shit to digest
Do you remember? Do you remember how sweet it was the first time? Or have you numbed yourself far too much to relive that night? Sitting here I would refresh your memory if only I could speak. I would tell you everything detail for detail. She broke your heart just like I told you she would. You came to me crying, looking for comfort. You told me that I was the only one you could every truly love, I was the only one that you could allow yourself to completely trust. I knew that you were telling the truth, you weren’t just speaking because of a broken heart. I knew because it’s the same for me with you. Then you looked at me and I told you everything would be okay. And it would be okay, I would never lie to you.
I wish I had a reason;
my flaws are open season
For this, I gave up trying
One good turn deserves my dying
I would never take back what happened after that. Soft touch for soft touch, lips trailing over a seemingly endless sea of flesh, finger tips dancing upon unfamiliar skin that wasn’t unfamiliar at the same time… everything was perfect. At first our hands and bodies were the only things that met, lips were too intimate and were saved only if it was to continue. When your lips met mine I almost died. I would have died of happiness right there. You undressed me and I undressed you. I’ve never felt anything like I did that night as you stared into my eyes and called out my name when you couldn’t take anymore as I thrust into you hitting your spot over and over again. The expression of pure love and ecstasy on your face when my hand wrapped around you and helped to finish you off has been embedded into my mind for all of eternity. Pulling out of you, you sighed and smiled up at me. There was no look of uncertainty, no questions as to whether or not what we did was sick or wrong. You wrapped your arms around me and told me you loved me. We both fell asleep.
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds
We were like two little kids with a secret that no one else could ever know. No one would ever have guessed such a thing. Secret looks, stolen moments and heated kisses when no one could see. I have never felt so entirely sure about anything or anyone in my life as I did about us and about you. Everything was perfect. But those days didn’t last. You grew tired of keeping us a secret, you wanted so badly to tell the world how happy you were and who it was that made you happy. Don’t think that I don’t understand, because I do more than anything in the whole world. I would love more than anything for everyone to have been okay and accepting of it. But we knew that they wouldn’t be, they couldn’t be. There was no way that they would ever understand. They wouldn’t want to. I hated to hear you cry at night when you thought I was sleeping, our relationship being the cause for your sadness. I was convinced that we would be okay…
Wish I'd died instead of lived
A zombie hides my face
Shell forgotten
with its memories
Diaries left
with cryptic entries
But then he found out. I can still physically feel every blow he punished me with as if it were happening again at this very moment. And I can mentally feel every blow that you received. I blocked you for the most of it. I wouldn’t let him hurt you, let him take me but dear God just let him leave you be. He told us how sick we were. Every hurtful word I’d ever known and ones I’d never even been exposed to poured from his mouth and wounded us like venom in an open cut. He told us that we were no sons of his. That hurt worse than any vile thing he could have ever shouted to us, more than any kick or punch he tried to break us with. He left after that. Mom, Sarah and Josh never knew that’s why dad left. We would never tell, we didn’t want them to hate us the way that he did.
And you don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on,
I won't let go 'til it bleeds
I can remember how hard you cried and for how long. We went through a rough patch. Many more followed after that but no matter what we had one another. That was the source of our comfort and the source of our pain. The one thing that could make us feel whole was the one thing that was most forbidden. It seemed like forever before I saw you smile again, and when I did I was overjoyed. I convinced myself that everything would be okay from then on. We needed to share our secret with everyone, so we took the chance of telling Billy and Paul. They wouldn’t claim to even try and understand it but somehow they knew that we were the only things keeping each other from falling to pieces.
You don't need to bother;
I don't need to be
I'll keep slipping farther
But once I hold on:
I'll never live down my deceit
And here we are now… a complete mess. The glue has come undone and the pieces have fallen to the floor. Our eyes finally meet and I reach out to touch your hand. You don’t flinch like I’m some kind of poison. A small smile. How long has it been since I’ve seen you smile all the way to your eyes? Far too long. I missed you, and here you are before me. You’re back again. I won’t even question how long you’ll be the person I’ve always known. You come and go far too often for me to even try and comprehend. I don’t think you even know. But I do know that if you could, you would be my twin more often. It’s just that sometimes the outside gets to you and you’re not sure what to do with yourself or how to act. I know you question everything now… I question it all too. But I try and be strong for us as I hold you in my arms and you let a few tears escape. And I want to tell you that everything will be okay. But I can’t, I’ve never lied to you before and I’m not about to start. And if only my voice would work, I would tell you so many things. You’re far too beautiful a person to fall. Don’t let them kill you Benji, please don’t let them kill you. But I know that it’s too late. You’re dying inside and it’s all my fault.
Note: To review this story, click the "Find Something Wrong" icon and type away. Praise & Flames welcome. Type whatever. Hell, even add me to your LJ friend's list.