Last year
I am choking on all the shit you are spinning. Coughing and spluttering, gasping for breath. You stop yelling, I come up for breth once more. I gasp as you start screaming more abuse that me. So petrified that you are going to punch me and make me bleed. I keep choking with fear, horror and anxiety. When is all this shit going to stop? I didn't do anything wrong. Why are you so paranoid? I love you so much, why don't you treat me the way I treat you? But love hurts sometimes and in this way I believed. Emotional head fuck games. Oh, weren't they fun. Fun, fun memories of half the time I spent with you. I could have found someone nice but I stuck it out with you for so long because you made me believe all this shit. Pretended and faked that you really were someone else and I can see it now that they who time you weren't. Was I just some like counter in your game? When you tried to reach the top so many times and you always failed so you grabbed me just after drunkenly chat one night. Was that all I was to you? Some piece of shit that you would just use? Well you did that all right. I am getting over it now. When I will be over you one day I would just love to spit in your face. Oh, that would be great.