(Untitled)
Over the last few weeks, I've been doing some serious thinking... I don't really fit in with anyone that I have been calling my friends over the last few years.
( Read me if you want to. If you don't, thats your choice. )
( Read me if you want to. If you don't, thats your choice. )
and you think "why do I always find the bad guys?".
You go looking for them.
I think you want to take the cheap fling and turn it into the sweet
attentive guy. But you only want to make the initial investment of a cheap fling, at least that's the initial promise you throw out to them.
The cheap fling who has learned that he can get it cheap, won't ever want to become the sweet attentive guy. Why should he? He's now convinced that he can
get sex, with no attachments whatsoever, at any time. He can lead you on by promising you exactly what you want. He puts up a show, says he cares about you a lot, he's trying to learn to love, some other bullshit... and you're willing to let him hang on to the sex without any sort of giving or commitment on his part. I'm not coming from a high moral ground here, just a common sense ground.
I'm not saying these guys aren't assholes. I'm sure they are. But you know what, you have admitted they are yet you keep going back to them. And then you complain and whine about it all across livejournal or if we ever run into you. And you know what, I don't want to hear it any more. You are damned well aware of what kind of guy he/they are, now you can make a choice about how you want to deal with it. But hey, if you order a happy meal, and pay for a happy meal, don't go expecting filet mignon and be disappointed when you get a happy meal. If you're walking headfirst into the situation knowing full well what's going to happen, you've forfeited your right to complain or seek pity. This is one area you need to grow up. I have no pity, only disgust for someone who looks at a situation and acknowledges that it is a bad thing, yet goes into it anyways.
And you need to stop seeking pity. For one, it's really unhealthy from a psychological standpoint. Secondly, when people don't give it to you (usually because they know that if you get it you'll learn to continue your poor behavior), you act like a total bitch to them. When people won't give you what you want from them, you tend to demonize them and treat them terribly. That's bullshit. I won't play friendship piracy. If you want to make me up to be the bad guy for not rolling over and giving you the emotional investment you're trying to weasel out of me, then you're welcome to do so. Only you and anyone you manage to fool will believe you.
Another thing you need to do is stop competing with everyone. My experience with you is that everytime in a mixed group that someone tells a story, you have to
tell a bigger story. This is really annoying. I say, "I've had a hard day at work" or "I met this neat person at work". You say, "Oh let me tell you, at my
work we're doing... ~continue on ad infinitum~." I didn't need someone to try to devalue my experience by citing some other experience which is somehow more "extreme" that happened to them. My gut reaction when you do that is to say, "Wow, I really don't care." Because at that point, you're asking for me to think higher of you because of your story... and all I can see is an insecure girl who wants some attention. I won't play to that, as I've stated before. It's a disservice to you because it reinforces your inappropriate behavior and thought patterns and frankly it's beneath me and makes me feel bad every time I do.
Reply
Leave a comment