Harry Potter/Draco Malfoy - Growing Harry - PG-13 - Part Four
Today is my 21st Birthday soo I'm gladly posting another chapter!
Title: Growing Harry(part four)
Pairing: Harry/Draco eventually
Rating: PG-13 for the moment
Summary: Harry has some terrible news and his entire way of life is thrown off balance as he is forced to take responsibility of not just himself. Post-Hogwarts, post-war.
Warnings: Character death but not Harry or Draco, however very integral to the plot
A/N: Thank you to my beta katze_boston
Word Count: 2396
Part One | Part Two | Part Three
Part Four
It was a few days before Harry heard anything more from the Weasley’s. Molly sent him a casserole and a note informing him that she would always be there for him if he needed her; it was all that needed to be said and Harry was grateful for it, but he couldn’t help feeling resentful that the gesture hadn’t come from Ginny. He knew it would take a long while before things got better between them and he would just have to deal with it. Harry was even more frustrated, however, that it had been three days since he had seen or heard from Draco. He felt stupid, they had spent one night together and nothing had even happened, yet he felt hurt that he hadn’t had so much as an owl from the blonde to make sure he was alive. He knew he was being a little irrational but Harry couldn’t help wishing he had someone to look after him at the moment. He was working so hard to care for the children and be grown up and responsible; making sure they ate their vegetables and washed behind their ears and did their homework before they went back to their little wizarding school in a village nearby; and he felt like he might snap.
He went through a whole series of emotions during those days, anger, disbelief, and despair all with the underlying feeling of utter exhaustion. The exhaustion came from always having to be brave in front of the children, always putting a smile on and pretending that he wasn’t slowly breaking inside. The children were always asleep by 8 o’clock and Harry found himself collapsing into bed not long after. Unfortunately this left him waking up at the crack of dawn, lying there wondering how he was going to get through another day.
Harry rolled over and stared at the clock. It was barely seven in the morning so he was surprised when he suddenly heard the sound of a beak tapping against his bedroom window pane. He wearily disentangled himself from the sheet and opened the window, letting the small barn owl in. He’d no idea who owned the creature and was curious as to who was sending him mail so early in the day.
He unrolled the parchment and his breath caught as he realised it was from Draco, asking him if he and the children felt like a trip to Diagon Alley that morning. They could help him with some shopping he needed to do and he would buy them some ice cream, as long as Harry agreed to wear something that wasn’t entirely toxic. Harry couldn’t keep the goofy smile from his face as he padded downstairs to write a reply and fix some breakfast for him and the children. A strong black coffee for himself and cereal and juice for Hannah and Johnny. He really needed to start eating properly.
The children seemed vaguely excited about meeting Draco in Diagon Alley, which delighted Harry seeing as they had both become quite devoid of emotion recently. With the promise of ice-cream and a book from Flourish and Blotts they were coaxed through the Floo, into the Leaky Cauldron and out into the bustling street. Harry immediately saw Draco standing outside Eeylops’, his white hair a beacon which he quickly honed in on.
With a child holding onto each hand Harry manoeuvred them through the throngs of people until they were face to face. The two men smiled gently at one another for a moment before Hannah tugged on Harry’s hand.
“Uncle Harry, can we go inside and look at the animals?” Harry smiled down at the girl he had dubbed as “mini-Hermione” and nodded. Harry was so relieved to have adult company he would have agreed to anything, as long as Draco was there with him.
“Sure! Johnny, do you want to look at the owls?” Johnny smiled weakly up at Harry and together the four of them wandered into the small shop. Harry watched as the children ran off in the direction of the main display of cages and turned to smile at Draco.
“Thanks for the invite, I think the three of us have been going quite mad in that house over the past few days,” Harry grinned gratefully at the blonde who smiled back.
“You’re welcome, Potter. I have to admit it wasn’t entirely selfless of me asking you out with the children, I really just wanted an excuse to see you, and flirt shamelessly with you. Under the innocent guise of ice-cream, of course,” Draco leered and felt entirely satisfied when a blush began to creep across Harry’s face.
“Well, regardless of how dishonourable your intentions were, thank you,” Harry smiled and Draco reached out and squeezed his hand before they went and joined the children, who were staring at a small snowy owl that was watching Hannah inquisitively.
“You’re going to have to get an owl for when you go to Hogwarts, don’t you think, Hannah?” Harry asked gently. The subject of the girl going off to school was still a sore one between the children. Hannah was scared of going and Johnny was scared of being left all alone.
“Maybe,” She replied vaguely but Harry didn’t miss the way in which she stared at the little white owl with something close to adoration. He made a mental note to owl the store with a little request later that day, the little owl could live with Pig and Hermione’s owl Gaea until Harry was ready to give it to Hannah.
After they left Eeylops’ they walked around a few of the other shops, Harry buying Hannah and Johnny both a book, until they finally ended up in Fortescue’s, where they all sat around a table with a sundae each. Harry knew he would have to deal with two children on a suger high, but couldn’t bring himself to care too much when they were all having such a nice time. He kept stealing glances at Draco, who was far better with the children than he would have thought; he was talking to Hannah about going to Hogwarts, and for the first time the girl wasn’t cringing at the mere mention of the subject.
“Good sundae, Johnny?” Harry asked the younger Weasley child and smiled when the boy nodded and smiled, his face covered in chocolate.
“Good boy,” Harry grinned, so he wasn’t really talking yet but he seemed to be doing slightly better.
When they were all done they wandered out of the ice-cream parlor to head back to the Leaky Cauldron. Harry’s and Draco’s hands were brushing together occasionally as they walked and Harry found himself blushing. He had no idea why; he had had no shyness in the past fucking men in the alleyways they passed as they walked, but the merest brush of Draco’s hand against him had him blushing like a virgin!
As they reached the Leaky Cauldron Harry turned to Draco and smiled softly, leaning in pressed a light kiss to the corner of Draco’s mouth.
“Thank you for a wonderful day, it’s been really nice,” Harry smiled and Draco leaned in to kiss him properly when Harry felt a tug on his arm.
“Uncle Harry, where’s Johnny?” Hannah met Harry’s smiling green eyes, which lost their amusement as soon as what the girl said registered in his brain.
“What? What do you mean ‘where’s Johnny?’! He was right with us!” Harry turned around wildly, but it was true, there was no sight of the auburn head anywhere. How could this have happened? They were all having such a wonderful time!
“Fuck! Stay here, I’ll go back to the ice-cream parlor,” Harry said frantically and didn’t even wait for an answer before he went running off back down the street as quickly as his legs and the crowd would allow. He ran into the store and looked around; it was utterly empty except for an old couple sharing a sundae and Harry groaned before turning around and running his fingers through his hair. He should have been more careful! He had been so busy mooning over how wonderful Draco was being that he had completely ignored the children! When was he ever going to grow up? He had responsibilities now and he was behaving exactly like he always did. He was so unbelievably selfish.
He walked back up the street, frantically looking in Flourish and Blotts and through the window at Ollivander’s as he went. Where the hell could he be? He decided to go back and get Draco to help him look.
“Did you find him?” Draco asked somewhat stupidly when Harry returned; the answer was obviously no, as there was no sign of a red headed young boy.
“Does it look like I found him?” Harry snapped irritably. He missed the way in which Draco blanched at his tone, he couldn’t care right now, he just had to find Jonathan!
“Okay, well Hannah and I will help you look, won’t we Han’?” Hannah nodded and Draco took her hand. The three of them walked back down the street, Harry looking into one of the shops across the street while Hannah and Draco decided to look into Eeylops’. Draco smiled softly at the sight of the small boy staring up at the owls in wonder, completely oblivious to the fact that his new guardian was about the have a brain haemorrhage.
“Harry…” Draco called but regretted it when Harry turned from the other side of the street and fixed him with an angry and exasperated look that Draco didn’t like.
“What?” Harry snapped but crossed over the through the throng of wizards and witches to where Draco was standing in the doorway.
“Just look would you,” Draco sighed dejectedly. Kid having gone missing or not he did not like being snapped at like the entire situation was his fault. Harry stuck his head around the door and Draco watched his shoulders droop as the tension ran out of him. Harry pushed himself through the door and ran up to Jonathan. He grasped his shoulder and shocked him by pulling him around.
“Johnny, where have you been?! I’ve been worried sick,” Johnny looked at Harry with wide eyes; he had never really heard his Uncle Harry shout let alone look so angry and frantic. However the anger didn’t last long and Harry pulled him into a tight hug.
Harry took each of the children’s hands as they walked back to the Leaky Cauldron leaving Draco to tag along behind. They went into the pub and helped the children floo back to the house. Harry turned to Draco to say goodbye and step into the flames when Draco grabbed his hand. Draco could see the closed off look Harry had gotten and he hated it. This wasn’t their fault, kids did things like that, and he’d done it himself countless times. He didn’t want whatever they had to end before it had even begun.
“Harry…”
“Don’t Draco; I can’t do this, not right now. Right now I have to think about Hannah and Johnny and not about myself. I’ve spent the last ten years thinking about whatever it is I want and that has to end now I can’t be that person anymore and…” Harry was babbling and Draco decided the best thing to do was shut him up. He pressed a soft kiss to Harry’s mouth and pulled back and looked into Harry’s eyes.
“You’re not being selfish by wanting to be happy, Harry. I’m not asking you to forget the children.” Harry tugged back his hand.
“But I did, Draco, I did forget the children today! I can’t focus on you and Hannah and Jonathan all at the same time!” Harry ran his hand through his unruly hair once more and was looking anywhere but into Draco’s eyes. If he did he knew he’d be lost forever.
“You know what, Harry, you have to do what you think is right.” Harry hated the way Draco sounded, so sad and exasperated and he finally met those cool grey eyes that looked unbelievably hurt.
“Draco, I am just really new to this and I am so scared of fucking those kids up,” Harry said honestly and Draco nodded before staring at his shoes.
“Well, why don’t you let me know when you’re feeling more inclined to see me.” Draco hadn’t wanted to sound petulant but he did and he couldn’t bring himself to take back the remark.
“Draco, please don’t be like this,” Harry all but whined.
“Harry, please don’t, you have to do what you have to do and that’s fine. You don’t want me around while you’re doing it, fine. Just don’t ask me to be alright with that. I never saw this as taking you away from the children; I saw this as helping you with the children. So Johnny got lost today; I was always running off as a kid. He just wanted to see the owls, it had nothing to do with your parenting skills!” Draco reached out and took Harry’s hand again.
“I just want to do the right thing by them,” Harry sighed miserably.
“And you being utterly miserable is the right thing?” Draco squeezed his hand.
“I guess not,” Harry shook his head.
“So it just comes down to one thing, Harry do you want to see me again? Don’t answer because of what you think it’ll do to the children, the children will cope. What do you want?”
“I do want to see you again but…” Harry stared into Draco eyes.
“But nothing! I think you should go home now --they probably think you’ve been lost in the Floo-- but tomorrow I’m going to come over and cook you all Sunday roast. The children can play in the garden and we’ll talk more, okay?” Draco smiled and was reassured when Harry returned it, he felt even better when Harry tugged on his hand and pressed a kiss to Draco’s lips before turned around and entering the Floo.
Later that night when the children were in bed Harry sat by the window and stared out into the garden. He always loved that his bedroom here overlooked it, because the garden was beautiful. He looked up in surprise when the bedroom door gently opened and Johnny appeared in the doorway. The little boy padded across the room and stood in front of Harry, clutching a toy owl in his hand which was flapping gently under the boys soft grip.
“Are you alright Johnny?” Harry asked softly and he nodded. Harry smiled and stared back out into the garden. This would happen a lot; Johnny couldn’t sleep and would end up coming and just sitting in Harry’s room in silence until he felt better about going back to bed.
“I’m sorry, Uncle Harry.” Harry was startled. This was the most the boy had spoken since his parent’s death, and Harry stared at him in wonder, thinking he had been hearing things.
“What?”
“I said I’m sorry Uncle Harry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Harry turned fully towards the boy and grabbed him into a strong hug.
“That’s alright Johnny, just, if you want to go and look at owls again, let me know first,” Harry pressed a kiss to the top of his head and pulled back from the hug.
“Alright,” Johnny smiled softly.
“Okay, back to bed with you, Draco’s coming over tomorrow to cook us lunch.” Johnny smiled and turned and ran from the room. Harry stared after him, and felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders at the sound of the child’s voice.
Title: Growing Harry(part four)
Pairing: Harry/Draco eventually
Rating: PG-13 for the moment
Summary: Harry has some terrible news and his entire way of life is thrown off balance as he is forced to take responsibility of not just himself. Post-Hogwarts, post-war.
Warnings: Character death but not Harry or Draco, however very integral to the plot
A/N: Thank you to my beta katze_boston
Word Count: 2396
Part One | Part Two | Part Three
Part Four
It was a few days before Harry heard anything more from the Weasley’s. Molly sent him a casserole and a note informing him that she would always be there for him if he needed her; it was all that needed to be said and Harry was grateful for it, but he couldn’t help feeling resentful that the gesture hadn’t come from Ginny. He knew it would take a long while before things got better between them and he would just have to deal with it. Harry was even more frustrated, however, that it had been three days since he had seen or heard from Draco. He felt stupid, they had spent one night together and nothing had even happened, yet he felt hurt that he hadn’t had so much as an owl from the blonde to make sure he was alive. He knew he was being a little irrational but Harry couldn’t help wishing he had someone to look after him at the moment. He was working so hard to care for the children and be grown up and responsible; making sure they ate their vegetables and washed behind their ears and did their homework before they went back to their little wizarding school in a village nearby; and he felt like he might snap.
He went through a whole series of emotions during those days, anger, disbelief, and despair all with the underlying feeling of utter exhaustion. The exhaustion came from always having to be brave in front of the children, always putting a smile on and pretending that he wasn’t slowly breaking inside. The children were always asleep by 8 o’clock and Harry found himself collapsing into bed not long after. Unfortunately this left him waking up at the crack of dawn, lying there wondering how he was going to get through another day.
Harry rolled over and stared at the clock. It was barely seven in the morning so he was surprised when he suddenly heard the sound of a beak tapping against his bedroom window pane. He wearily disentangled himself from the sheet and opened the window, letting the small barn owl in. He’d no idea who owned the creature and was curious as to who was sending him mail so early in the day.
He unrolled the parchment and his breath caught as he realised it was from Draco, asking him if he and the children felt like a trip to Diagon Alley that morning. They could help him with some shopping he needed to do and he would buy them some ice cream, as long as Harry agreed to wear something that wasn’t entirely toxic. Harry couldn’t keep the goofy smile from his face as he padded downstairs to write a reply and fix some breakfast for him and the children. A strong black coffee for himself and cereal and juice for Hannah and Johnny. He really needed to start eating properly.
The children seemed vaguely excited about meeting Draco in Diagon Alley, which delighted Harry seeing as they had both become quite devoid of emotion recently. With the promise of ice-cream and a book from Flourish and Blotts they were coaxed through the Floo, into the Leaky Cauldron and out into the bustling street. Harry immediately saw Draco standing outside Eeylops’, his white hair a beacon which he quickly honed in on.
With a child holding onto each hand Harry manoeuvred them through the throngs of people until they were face to face. The two men smiled gently at one another for a moment before Hannah tugged on Harry’s hand.
“Uncle Harry, can we go inside and look at the animals?” Harry smiled down at the girl he had dubbed as “mini-Hermione” and nodded. Harry was so relieved to have adult company he would have agreed to anything, as long as Draco was there with him.
“Sure! Johnny, do you want to look at the owls?” Johnny smiled weakly up at Harry and together the four of them wandered into the small shop. Harry watched as the children ran off in the direction of the main display of cages and turned to smile at Draco.
“Thanks for the invite, I think the three of us have been going quite mad in that house over the past few days,” Harry grinned gratefully at the blonde who smiled back.
“You’re welcome, Potter. I have to admit it wasn’t entirely selfless of me asking you out with the children, I really just wanted an excuse to see you, and flirt shamelessly with you. Under the innocent guise of ice-cream, of course,” Draco leered and felt entirely satisfied when a blush began to creep across Harry’s face.
“Well, regardless of how dishonourable your intentions were, thank you,” Harry smiled and Draco reached out and squeezed his hand before they went and joined the children, who were staring at a small snowy owl that was watching Hannah inquisitively.
“You’re going to have to get an owl for when you go to Hogwarts, don’t you think, Hannah?” Harry asked gently. The subject of the girl going off to school was still a sore one between the children. Hannah was scared of going and Johnny was scared of being left all alone.
“Maybe,” She replied vaguely but Harry didn’t miss the way in which she stared at the little white owl with something close to adoration. He made a mental note to owl the store with a little request later that day, the little owl could live with Pig and Hermione’s owl Gaea until Harry was ready to give it to Hannah.
After they left Eeylops’ they walked around a few of the other shops, Harry buying Hannah and Johnny both a book, until they finally ended up in Fortescue’s, where they all sat around a table with a sundae each. Harry knew he would have to deal with two children on a suger high, but couldn’t bring himself to care too much when they were all having such a nice time. He kept stealing glances at Draco, who was far better with the children than he would have thought; he was talking to Hannah about going to Hogwarts, and for the first time the girl wasn’t cringing at the mere mention of the subject.
“Good sundae, Johnny?” Harry asked the younger Weasley child and smiled when the boy nodded and smiled, his face covered in chocolate.
“Good boy,” Harry grinned, so he wasn’t really talking yet but he seemed to be doing slightly better.
When they were all done they wandered out of the ice-cream parlor to head back to the Leaky Cauldron. Harry’s and Draco’s hands were brushing together occasionally as they walked and Harry found himself blushing. He had no idea why; he had had no shyness in the past fucking men in the alleyways they passed as they walked, but the merest brush of Draco’s hand against him had him blushing like a virgin!
As they reached the Leaky Cauldron Harry turned to Draco and smiled softly, leaning in pressed a light kiss to the corner of Draco’s mouth.
“Thank you for a wonderful day, it’s been really nice,” Harry smiled and Draco leaned in to kiss him properly when Harry felt a tug on his arm.
“Uncle Harry, where’s Johnny?” Hannah met Harry’s smiling green eyes, which lost their amusement as soon as what the girl said registered in his brain.
“What? What do you mean ‘where’s Johnny?’! He was right with us!” Harry turned around wildly, but it was true, there was no sight of the auburn head anywhere. How could this have happened? They were all having such a wonderful time!
“Fuck! Stay here, I’ll go back to the ice-cream parlor,” Harry said frantically and didn’t even wait for an answer before he went running off back down the street as quickly as his legs and the crowd would allow. He ran into the store and looked around; it was utterly empty except for an old couple sharing a sundae and Harry groaned before turning around and running his fingers through his hair. He should have been more careful! He had been so busy mooning over how wonderful Draco was being that he had completely ignored the children! When was he ever going to grow up? He had responsibilities now and he was behaving exactly like he always did. He was so unbelievably selfish.
He walked back up the street, frantically looking in Flourish and Blotts and through the window at Ollivander’s as he went. Where the hell could he be? He decided to go back and get Draco to help him look.
“Did you find him?” Draco asked somewhat stupidly when Harry returned; the answer was obviously no, as there was no sign of a red headed young boy.
“Does it look like I found him?” Harry snapped irritably. He missed the way in which Draco blanched at his tone, he couldn’t care right now, he just had to find Jonathan!
“Okay, well Hannah and I will help you look, won’t we Han’?” Hannah nodded and Draco took her hand. The three of them walked back down the street, Harry looking into one of the shops across the street while Hannah and Draco decided to look into Eeylops’. Draco smiled softly at the sight of the small boy staring up at the owls in wonder, completely oblivious to the fact that his new guardian was about the have a brain haemorrhage.
“Harry…” Draco called but regretted it when Harry turned from the other side of the street and fixed him with an angry and exasperated look that Draco didn’t like.
“What?” Harry snapped but crossed over the through the throng of wizards and witches to where Draco was standing in the doorway.
“Just look would you,” Draco sighed dejectedly. Kid having gone missing or not he did not like being snapped at like the entire situation was his fault. Harry stuck his head around the door and Draco watched his shoulders droop as the tension ran out of him. Harry pushed himself through the door and ran up to Jonathan. He grasped his shoulder and shocked him by pulling him around.
“Johnny, where have you been?! I’ve been worried sick,” Johnny looked at Harry with wide eyes; he had never really heard his Uncle Harry shout let alone look so angry and frantic. However the anger didn’t last long and Harry pulled him into a tight hug.
Harry took each of the children’s hands as they walked back to the Leaky Cauldron leaving Draco to tag along behind. They went into the pub and helped the children floo back to the house. Harry turned to Draco to say goodbye and step into the flames when Draco grabbed his hand. Draco could see the closed off look Harry had gotten and he hated it. This wasn’t their fault, kids did things like that, and he’d done it himself countless times. He didn’t want whatever they had to end before it had even begun.
“Harry…”
“Don’t Draco; I can’t do this, not right now. Right now I have to think about Hannah and Johnny and not about myself. I’ve spent the last ten years thinking about whatever it is I want and that has to end now I can’t be that person anymore and…” Harry was babbling and Draco decided the best thing to do was shut him up. He pressed a soft kiss to Harry’s mouth and pulled back and looked into Harry’s eyes.
“You’re not being selfish by wanting to be happy, Harry. I’m not asking you to forget the children.” Harry tugged back his hand.
“But I did, Draco, I did forget the children today! I can’t focus on you and Hannah and Jonathan all at the same time!” Harry ran his hand through his unruly hair once more and was looking anywhere but into Draco’s eyes. If he did he knew he’d be lost forever.
“You know what, Harry, you have to do what you think is right.” Harry hated the way Draco sounded, so sad and exasperated and he finally met those cool grey eyes that looked unbelievably hurt.
“Draco, I am just really new to this and I am so scared of fucking those kids up,” Harry said honestly and Draco nodded before staring at his shoes.
“Well, why don’t you let me know when you’re feeling more inclined to see me.” Draco hadn’t wanted to sound petulant but he did and he couldn’t bring himself to take back the remark.
“Draco, please don’t be like this,” Harry all but whined.
“Harry, please don’t, you have to do what you have to do and that’s fine. You don’t want me around while you’re doing it, fine. Just don’t ask me to be alright with that. I never saw this as taking you away from the children; I saw this as helping you with the children. So Johnny got lost today; I was always running off as a kid. He just wanted to see the owls, it had nothing to do with your parenting skills!” Draco reached out and took Harry’s hand again.
“I just want to do the right thing by them,” Harry sighed miserably.
“And you being utterly miserable is the right thing?” Draco squeezed his hand.
“I guess not,” Harry shook his head.
“So it just comes down to one thing, Harry do you want to see me again? Don’t answer because of what you think it’ll do to the children, the children will cope. What do you want?”
“I do want to see you again but…” Harry stared into Draco eyes.
“But nothing! I think you should go home now --they probably think you’ve been lost in the Floo-- but tomorrow I’m going to come over and cook you all Sunday roast. The children can play in the garden and we’ll talk more, okay?” Draco smiled and was reassured when Harry returned it, he felt even better when Harry tugged on his hand and pressed a kiss to Draco’s lips before turned around and entering the Floo.
Later that night when the children were in bed Harry sat by the window and stared out into the garden. He always loved that his bedroom here overlooked it, because the garden was beautiful. He looked up in surprise when the bedroom door gently opened and Johnny appeared in the doorway. The little boy padded across the room and stood in front of Harry, clutching a toy owl in his hand which was flapping gently under the boys soft grip.
“Are you alright Johnny?” Harry asked softly and he nodded. Harry smiled and stared back out into the garden. This would happen a lot; Johnny couldn’t sleep and would end up coming and just sitting in Harry’s room in silence until he felt better about going back to bed.
“I’m sorry, Uncle Harry.” Harry was startled. This was the most the boy had spoken since his parent’s death, and Harry stared at him in wonder, thinking he had been hearing things.
“What?”
“I said I’m sorry Uncle Harry, I didn’t mean to scare you,” Harry turned fully towards the boy and grabbed him into a strong hug.
“That’s alright Johnny, just, if you want to go and look at owls again, let me know first,” Harry pressed a kiss to the top of his head and pulled back from the hug.
“Alright,” Johnny smiled softly.
“Okay, back to bed with you, Draco’s coming over tomorrow to cook us lunch.” Johnny smiled and turned and ran from the room. Harry stared after him, and felt like a huge weight had been lifted off his shoulders at the sound of the child’s voice.