(no subject)
Well fellas, I haven't writin in a while so why not make this one extra long. There really hasn't been that much going on around here, nothing but the usual. I got a test back today and I got a 43 when I thought I'd be geting a 90....that kinda sucked, worst grade I've ever recieved in my entire life. I don't know about school anymore, "I'm not living up to my expectations, becuase I'm worth more than I'm giving" or says my mom...
I'm pretty much gonna write a huge paragraph on anything I think of for the next 20 minutes so lets get started. I watched The Butterfly Effect today, Awsome movie I gotta say. I've seen the movie about 5 times now and every time I watch it, it gets me thinking about the same situation with my life. Now I'm not saying I have a mental friend who likes to beat the shit out of people and burn dogs alive, but what if...
My List of What If's.
-What if I had never moved back here in the 5th grade?
I could be a completly different person right now, I might not even be alive. But I guess that falls in with any "what if". I wonder what I would be life, would I be an preppy asshole? Would I be a druggy? I guess if I didn't move back anything could have happened.
-What if I had never met marissa?
This one could never end but what the hell, might as well give it a shot. Maybe Lauren wouldn't have gone to PCA and went to Traip. Maybe I wouldn't have lost one of my best friends. And maybe all the time I spent/spend talking to her and hanging out with her, I would have done something else, picked up a hobby or something. Maybe I would have met some one else and lived happily ever after and stuff. It gets your imagination going, what if I never met this person, how would have life gone?
Anyway I think you get the point, its amazing how much your life can change in a single momment. Thats all it takes ladies and gentleman so make it count. Make sure its the right one.
I've been reading a little ofthe bible everyonce once and a while and its really starting to have a impact. I mean, I know I don't seem like the kinda guy who you would see a religeous or anything but It does have something that people can find comfert in, or inspiration, or a new outlook on life. Now that I'm more involved with the good lord and stuff, It's changing the way I think. I realize that everything does have a cuase and effect and that I should care, and I should decide wisely. When I'm talking to some one and I'm about to curse, I think to myself, is that something you hear in the bible? or hear something jesus would say/do? I finally understand the point of WWJD.
I was listening to my sister talk on the phone with jesse (seth's sister) and they were talkinga bout jesse hanging out with nate which is awsome, its good that Nate can find some one. Seth and Lauren seemed to be going better than ever. I just wish I could have what they have with someone, solitude only seems so sweet until you want there to be some one. I have my times when I just wanna be alone and sit in my room in silence and just listen to nothing but in the end I just want to make whatever this place is worth, worthwhile. I don't wanna remember this place as me being a loser who everyone knew as a loner. Thats horrible. And I know I've hung out with marissa and we've been talking alot more than we used to but Its so horrible how I stopped talking to her and the love we used to have between us is just gone now. I'm trying so hard to bring it back but it just doesn't seem like anythings left to work with. Its horrible and I guess I blame myself for it. It tears me apart thinking about I will never forget her and how much I loved her and I'm most likely never going to see her after the next 5 months....
I'm pretty much gonna write a huge paragraph on anything I think of for the next 20 minutes so lets get started. I watched The Butterfly Effect today, Awsome movie I gotta say. I've seen the movie about 5 times now and every time I watch it, it gets me thinking about the same situation with my life. Now I'm not saying I have a mental friend who likes to beat the shit out of people and burn dogs alive, but what if...
My List of What If's.
-What if I had never moved back here in the 5th grade?
I could be a completly different person right now, I might not even be alive. But I guess that falls in with any "what if". I wonder what I would be life, would I be an preppy asshole? Would I be a druggy? I guess if I didn't move back anything could have happened.
-What if I had never met marissa?
This one could never end but what the hell, might as well give it a shot. Maybe Lauren wouldn't have gone to PCA and went to Traip. Maybe I wouldn't have lost one of my best friends. And maybe all the time I spent/spend talking to her and hanging out with her, I would have done something else, picked up a hobby or something. Maybe I would have met some one else and lived happily ever after and stuff. It gets your imagination going, what if I never met this person, how would have life gone?
Anyway I think you get the point, its amazing how much your life can change in a single momment. Thats all it takes ladies and gentleman so make it count. Make sure its the right one.
I've been reading a little ofthe bible everyonce once and a while and its really starting to have a impact. I mean, I know I don't seem like the kinda guy who you would see a religeous or anything but It does have something that people can find comfert in, or inspiration, or a new outlook on life. Now that I'm more involved with the good lord and stuff, It's changing the way I think. I realize that everything does have a cuase and effect and that I should care, and I should decide wisely. When I'm talking to some one and I'm about to curse, I think to myself, is that something you hear in the bible? or hear something jesus would say/do? I finally understand the point of WWJD.
I was listening to my sister talk on the phone with jesse (seth's sister) and they were talkinga bout jesse hanging out with nate which is awsome, its good that Nate can find some one. Seth and Lauren seemed to be going better than ever. I just wish I could have what they have with someone, solitude only seems so sweet until you want there to be some one. I have my times when I just wanna be alone and sit in my room in silence and just listen to nothing but in the end I just want to make whatever this place is worth, worthwhile. I don't wanna remember this place as me being a loser who everyone knew as a loner. Thats horrible. And I know I've hung out with marissa and we've been talking alot more than we used to but Its so horrible how I stopped talking to her and the love we used to have between us is just gone now. I'm trying so hard to bring it back but it just doesn't seem like anythings left to work with. Its horrible and I guess I blame myself for it. It tears me apart thinking about I will never forget her and how much I loved her and I'm most likely never going to see her after the next 5 months....