i might as well be dead
everything that has been going on between my dad and i has just been so overwhelming. i don't know if i can handle it. i feel like i have no one in this world. sure, i have lots of friends and family, but no one could ever help me emotionally or mentally like my dad. my mom is, well, she just hasn't been there like she should have been, and my friends are all busy with their own lives. i have nobody. i am "18 in his eyes" and can do whatever i please, whenever i want to. no more helping me with school, laptop, cell phone, car, bank and money issues. he isn't doing anything for me anymore. and i am sorry dad for what happend, and i appologized to you, but you don't know what you're doing to your 17-year-old daughter. i seriously feel like i am going to break down and go insane. i can't handle this. and my mom isn't the easiest person to handle business with either. she's good for fun, shopping, and trips to the river, but not business like my daddy. i feel dead. i feel like he isn't even my dad anymore. it feels like he's just some guy that lives in the same house as me. this is going to scar me for life. nothing will ever be the same. i don't fee like going to school, or college, or having fun. all i want to do is cry. cry and sleep. sleep my new life away. eff this trash. God where are you? i need you. i am desperate and completely lost without you. please do not let my lil bros screw up like me. let them learn from my mistakes. i think i need to throw up.