(no subject)

[screamindaisies]

oh my god, i've never been so jealous in my life. yes, i am going to admit it. its a terrible feeling. especially when it doesnt have to be that way. i want to talk to him but i dont want to come off as this crazy clingy type girl and it's obvious he doesnt want to talk to me, so its for the best that i try not to. i dont really, thats the thing, thats why it was nothing more than it ever was, because i wouldnt call him, didn't call him. and why? i dont know. alot of reasons i guess. nothing good enough. and its not a good feeling, to know now that he has someone else, and he tells her he loves her and he said that he never says that, not even to his parents, he says he actually doesnt even love his parents. he is the 1st person i've ever talked to that genuinely cared about my well being when i didnt even imply that i needed caring for. i was attracted to him because he was incredibly caring and considerate of other people, and we just talked about things that noone else ever would have wanted to talk to me about, and he liked to.
i completely blame myself for this one. well its mostly always my fault. but really, this time, i let such a good thing pass me by. story of my life.