(no subject)
I like life.
I decided that a little while ago while outside having a Kretek. I’m running late so I’ll try and make this quick. I guess I could return the bottles on my way back from chilling with Eric, so that’ll give me another five minutes here.
Life is really beautiful.
I’ve spent most of my life doing three things.
Trying to please everyone.
Trying to figure out who I am/what I should be doing.
Try to bring peace to my mind about philosophy and theology.
Today, and for the last couple of months, I’ve been figuring it out.
I can’t please anyone. There happiness is based on their perspective. Thus, I can do something I think it really nice and wonderful and their reaction could be cold and untouched, because they perceived it not the way I was doing it. This is too strenuous. It also makes me worry about myself way too much. I’m still struggling with this one, and probably will for awhile, but that’s okay - victory is obtainable. This also doesn’t mean I won’t try to be nice and make people happy, it just means I won’t make their response the measurement of my success.
Who I am is unique. I’m a child of God, not because of something I’ve done, but because of who has chosen to accept me at a high cost. I simply recognize it. That’s where all true power for humanity dwells. Not in our action, in His. Not in our belief, in His. Not in our understanding, in His. I simply stroll around in the “garden” and name things. I met with Him and thank Him. I treat “eve” (in this case, all mankind) with respect and honor not because they deserve it but because we are all made from the same matter and all have the breath of God in us, whether dormant or active. I live. Simply that. I take it a moment at a time. Strive to keep my conscious clean and seek to know the mind and heart of God more.
What I should be doing therefore falls into a shallow grave, which I’ve dug for it, so that when the wind and reign comes its skeleton can be raped by the fallen nature that created it. All striving is futile. We work so that we accomplish something. If the work does not accomplish something or bring unity of people or our conscious (and thus more of a boldness to go before His throne) it’s pointless. It is just as much a waste of time as someone who passes out drunk in an alley.
All is meaningless, but not ALL is without meaning.
Purpose is a silly concept to try and trick us. Our purpose is simple. To know God and each other - that’s it. Everything else is perishing quickly and I can’t wait to dance on the ashes. Yes, I will dance on the ashes. Am I saying you should seek purpose? No, not at all, purpose is the question that drives us to God time and time again. If your purpose leads you anywhere else, stab it in the head, no matter how much it seems to embody the natural worlds ideas of noble and good. It’s not good, it’s cheap and perishing.
Philosophers have failed; theologians have died.
The idea of philosophy, any philosophy that’s worth its weight in HOT air, is to find something, to go somewhere. It’s to create something. If philosophy remains a thought or a debate or an ideal, it’s false. Philosophers must BE philosophy to succeed. The same goes with theologians. We study God to know Him and become more like Him. We can have our minds transformed by the ideas of the image of God, but until we sit in His presence, we will never become the image of God. We’ll come so close to having life and yet be just out of reach of it. We must be burned by the fire of God, not be kept warm by it. Until we jump into the fires of theology we do not become consumed by it. We are just theologians studying something that is good but missing the awesome.
All that was too say, I’ve been contemplating for too long. Looked at everything from different angles. Been both a philosopher and a theologian and with every new bit of knowledge I received I felt more dead and more lost. Lately, I’ve sought to become my ideas. That’s after all what God has made possible for us by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. We are able to be one with Him, and through the same Spirit, one with each other. A new mind and a new heart; the New Covenant made possible by His blood (through His sacrifice on the cross).
There comes a point where one has to stop thinking so much and just be. After all, didn’t Yahweh refer to Himself to Moses as, “I Am”. That’s the ultimate goal in Christianity. To exist outside of these systems and be like God, not God, but like Him. The only thing I’m striving for anymore is to get to the point where I can saw with humility and confidence, “I am”.
|myk|
I decided that a little while ago while outside having a Kretek. I’m running late so I’ll try and make this quick. I guess I could return the bottles on my way back from chilling with Eric, so that’ll give me another five minutes here.
Life is really beautiful.
I’ve spent most of my life doing three things.
Trying to please everyone.
Trying to figure out who I am/what I should be doing.
Try to bring peace to my mind about philosophy and theology.
Today, and for the last couple of months, I’ve been figuring it out.
I can’t please anyone. There happiness is based on their perspective. Thus, I can do something I think it really nice and wonderful and their reaction could be cold and untouched, because they perceived it not the way I was doing it. This is too strenuous. It also makes me worry about myself way too much. I’m still struggling with this one, and probably will for awhile, but that’s okay - victory is obtainable. This also doesn’t mean I won’t try to be nice and make people happy, it just means I won’t make their response the measurement of my success.
Who I am is unique. I’m a child of God, not because of something I’ve done, but because of who has chosen to accept me at a high cost. I simply recognize it. That’s where all true power for humanity dwells. Not in our action, in His. Not in our belief, in His. Not in our understanding, in His. I simply stroll around in the “garden” and name things. I met with Him and thank Him. I treat “eve” (in this case, all mankind) with respect and honor not because they deserve it but because we are all made from the same matter and all have the breath of God in us, whether dormant or active. I live. Simply that. I take it a moment at a time. Strive to keep my conscious clean and seek to know the mind and heart of God more.
What I should be doing therefore falls into a shallow grave, which I’ve dug for it, so that when the wind and reign comes its skeleton can be raped by the fallen nature that created it. All striving is futile. We work so that we accomplish something. If the work does not accomplish something or bring unity of people or our conscious (and thus more of a boldness to go before His throne) it’s pointless. It is just as much a waste of time as someone who passes out drunk in an alley.
All is meaningless, but not ALL is without meaning.
Purpose is a silly concept to try and trick us. Our purpose is simple. To know God and each other - that’s it. Everything else is perishing quickly and I can’t wait to dance on the ashes. Yes, I will dance on the ashes. Am I saying you should seek purpose? No, not at all, purpose is the question that drives us to God time and time again. If your purpose leads you anywhere else, stab it in the head, no matter how much it seems to embody the natural worlds ideas of noble and good. It’s not good, it’s cheap and perishing.
Philosophers have failed; theologians have died.
The idea of philosophy, any philosophy that’s worth its weight in HOT air, is to find something, to go somewhere. It’s to create something. If philosophy remains a thought or a debate or an ideal, it’s false. Philosophers must BE philosophy to succeed. The same goes with theologians. We study God to know Him and become more like Him. We can have our minds transformed by the ideas of the image of God, but until we sit in His presence, we will never become the image of God. We’ll come so close to having life and yet be just out of reach of it. We must be burned by the fire of God, not be kept warm by it. Until we jump into the fires of theology we do not become consumed by it. We are just theologians studying something that is good but missing the awesome.
All that was too say, I’ve been contemplating for too long. Looked at everything from different angles. Been both a philosopher and a theologian and with every new bit of knowledge I received I felt more dead and more lost. Lately, I’ve sought to become my ideas. That’s after all what God has made possible for us by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. We are able to be one with Him, and through the same Spirit, one with each other. A new mind and a new heart; the New Covenant made possible by His blood (through His sacrifice on the cross).
There comes a point where one has to stop thinking so much and just be. After all, didn’t Yahweh refer to Himself to Moses as, “I Am”. That’s the ultimate goal in Christianity. To exist outside of these systems and be like God, not God, but like Him. The only thing I’m striving for anymore is to get to the point where I can saw with humility and confidence, “I am”.
|myk|