(no subject)
Argh. Stuff is a bit crappy at the moment. Saturday night I had another fun breakdown (sensing a theme here), and I had a long talk with my mum, then when I finally did get to sleep, I woke up with a migraine and was sick on Sunday morning. Felt quite down all weekend, and came back monday night; I couldn't face the train ride home on Sunday or DVC on Monday.
I'm starting to think maybe I've picked the wrong course. I'm feeling generally down here; I like the city, and aspects of the university, but it's not very personal. Also at home I looked at some of my sketchbooks from last year which made me really sad. I've come so far over the past two years in my work, and I feel I've just completely dropped the entire arty/textile aspect of myself with this course. That was cheesy but I don't care. At the moment I'm fed up of sewing in straight lines with ready bought fabric. After my talk with mum I'm considering the idea of accepting my mistake and starting a new course next year. As much as I do want to try and succeed here, at the moment I just feel so down that I don't know that I have the energy too. I think I still want to do fashion, but the course I'm on at the moment really is an academic design course, and I want to be doing art, not faffing about doing media modules which we weren't even told we'd have to do when we applied.
I think going home at the weekend didn't really have anything to help with my happiness as I'm really starting to miss my friends now. I should be going back to Woking in a few weeks though to pick up grandma and bring her back to ours, so I'll be able to see them, if only for a few hours. Going to start going insane soon.
I'm starting to think maybe I've picked the wrong course. I'm feeling generally down here; I like the city, and aspects of the university, but it's not very personal. Also at home I looked at some of my sketchbooks from last year which made me really sad. I've come so far over the past two years in my work, and I feel I've just completely dropped the entire arty/textile aspect of myself with this course. That was cheesy but I don't care. At the moment I'm fed up of sewing in straight lines with ready bought fabric. After my talk with mum I'm considering the idea of accepting my mistake and starting a new course next year. As much as I do want to try and succeed here, at the moment I just feel so down that I don't know that I have the energy too. I think I still want to do fashion, but the course I'm on at the moment really is an academic design course, and I want to be doing art, not faffing about doing media modules which we weren't even told we'd have to do when we applied.
I think going home at the weekend didn't really have anything to help with my happiness as I'm really starting to miss my friends now. I should be going back to Woking in a few weeks though to pick up grandma and bring her back to ours, so I'll be able to see them, if only for a few hours. Going to start going insane soon.