Filling You In
11:10:53 am
Friends, listen to my story! Yesterday, on the way to a friend's house, I stopped by the supermarket to pick up a few things. I passed through the bread aisle and was thoroughly enticed by a tag that said "3/99¢". The tag was for those delicious, though frightfully generic, individual pastry pies with the crusty outer shell and the diabetically tasty fillings. Overcome, I purchased three of them for one dollar, a mere DOLLAR my good sirs!, one of which was apple and two of which were chocolate. I had resisted temptation all last night so I could feast at work in between my whippings and the salting of said whip-wounds.
Lo, a mere two minutes ago, I took from the wrapper one of mine pastry pies, its sides bulging, pregnant with dreamy confection of the chocolate persuasion. Mouth watering, I closed my eyes in sheer anticipation as I took a bite! And what met my taste buds was not the explosion of cacao they had expected - NAY - quite a different flavor indeed! Opening my eyes in shock, I saw not a deep brown on the inside of my delicious pastry pie, but a white substance! Coconut! My head spinning, I could not fathom how a coconut pastry pie had been mistakenly packaged inside a chocolate pastry pie wrapper, though this did not in any way slow my consumption. The satisfaction upon finishing, however did not live up to the expectations of my chocolate endeavors! Hear me, dear sirs, I shall not rest until this travesty, this affront to pastry pie eaters the world over, has been righted! We shan't go wanting for chocolate and accepting the lesser (but also quite delicious) coconut pie as a swapped substitute again!
UPDATE
11:14:07am
Upon further inspection of the pastry pie wrapper, I see that someone has pasted over the word "chocolate" with the word "coconut"! Fiends! I was duped! Instead of purchasing the astoundingly tasty chocolate pie, I was tricked into purchasing one filled with the lesser (but also quite delectable but in a less satisfying way, if you chocolate lovers understand the dilemma) coconut filling! My instincts are telling me that this was a clever ploy enacted by the manufacturers to reduce stock of their second-to-chocolate (though quite tasty indeed, you understand me) coconut pastry pies by fooling their customers into believing they purchased the powerhouse that is the Chocolate Pastry Pie! This tom-foolery will not be tolerated! What dastardly shenanigans! Skullduggery abounds! Justice will be sought and perpetrators brought to their knees in shame! I shall investigate further, sirs!
UPDATE
11:14:12am
A secondary examination of the pastry pie package has now revealed that what I had purchased had indeed been a Coconut Pastry Pie and not the far superior (though coconut is good in its own way, naturally) Chocolate Pastry Pie. The color of the package and lettering, a beige and dark brown ensemble, were just misleading enough to cause me, in my childlike excitement, to misinterpret the information put before me and purchase the incorrect item. Mistakes were made and efforts are underway to repair the damage. My apologies to Mrs. Redd and her fine pastry pie company, I hope this investigation can be put behind us. I plan to continue to eat your pies far into the future.
Seriously, what am I doing with my life...?
Friends, listen to my story! Yesterday, on the way to a friend's house, I stopped by the supermarket to pick up a few things. I passed through the bread aisle and was thoroughly enticed by a tag that said "3/99¢". The tag was for those delicious, though frightfully generic, individual pastry pies with the crusty outer shell and the diabetically tasty fillings. Overcome, I purchased three of them for one dollar, a mere DOLLAR my good sirs!, one of which was apple and two of which were chocolate. I had resisted temptation all last night so I could feast at work in between my whippings and the salting of said whip-wounds.
Lo, a mere two minutes ago, I took from the wrapper one of mine pastry pies, its sides bulging, pregnant with dreamy confection of the chocolate persuasion. Mouth watering, I closed my eyes in sheer anticipation as I took a bite! And what met my taste buds was not the explosion of cacao they had expected - NAY - quite a different flavor indeed! Opening my eyes in shock, I saw not a deep brown on the inside of my delicious pastry pie, but a white substance! Coconut! My head spinning, I could not fathom how a coconut pastry pie had been mistakenly packaged inside a chocolate pastry pie wrapper, though this did not in any way slow my consumption. The satisfaction upon finishing, however did not live up to the expectations of my chocolate endeavors! Hear me, dear sirs, I shall not rest until this travesty, this affront to pastry pie eaters the world over, has been righted! We shan't go wanting for chocolate and accepting the lesser (but also quite delicious) coconut pie as a swapped substitute again!
UPDATE
11:14:07am
Upon further inspection of the pastry pie wrapper, I see that someone has pasted over the word "chocolate" with the word "coconut"! Fiends! I was duped! Instead of purchasing the astoundingly tasty chocolate pie, I was tricked into purchasing one filled with the lesser (but also quite delectable but in a less satisfying way, if you chocolate lovers understand the dilemma) coconut filling! My instincts are telling me that this was a clever ploy enacted by the manufacturers to reduce stock of their second-to-chocolate (though quite tasty indeed, you understand me) coconut pastry pies by fooling their customers into believing they purchased the powerhouse that is the Chocolate Pastry Pie! This tom-foolery will not be tolerated! What dastardly shenanigans! Skullduggery abounds! Justice will be sought and perpetrators brought to their knees in shame! I shall investigate further, sirs!
UPDATE
11:14:12am
A secondary examination of the pastry pie package has now revealed that what I had purchased had indeed been a Coconut Pastry Pie and not the far superior (though coconut is good in its own way, naturally) Chocolate Pastry Pie. The color of the package and lettering, a beige and dark brown ensemble, were just misleading enough to cause me, in my childlike excitement, to misinterpret the information put before me and purchase the incorrect item. Mistakes were made and efforts are underway to repair the damage. My apologies to Mrs. Redd and her fine pastry pie company, I hope this investigation can be put behind us. I plan to continue to eat your pies far into the future.
Seriously, what am I doing with my life...?