[fic] Everything To Me (Kyou Kara Maou)
Title: Everything to Me
Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou
Pairing: Conrad/Yuuri
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The characters belong to their creators; the song titles belong to Rockapella.
Notes: 10th and final chapter in my Kingdom of Shy series, previous parts found here. There are SPOILERS here for the end of the series season 2.
Translation of Japanese terms at the end.
Everything to Me
Yuuri rubbed his hands together in an attempt to warm them from the growing chill in the evening air. He hadn't brought a jacket or anything warmer than his customary attire which, he reflected ruefully, had been a mistake. The sun, already setting now, painted the sky a fiery orange that seemed to contrast with the shivering Maou.
When I left that note for Conrad maybe I should've written "I'll wait until it gets too cold." instead of "I'll wait until you come."
Shaking his head at how wimpy the thought made him sound - and I'm not a wimp! - Yuuri stood up and paced down the earthen dike. The irony that this was the place he had chosen was not lost on him; rather, Yuuri reflected, perhaps he had come here unconsciously on purpose.
"For all the sense that that makes," Yuuri muttered. He gazed back toward Blood Pledge Castle, searching for signs of anyone approaching, but saw none. His fingers wrung together, betraying the nervousness Yuuri felt, and he stopped and faced the baseball field, remembering the countless times the two of them had played catch there. The memory of their last game bombarded him for what Yuuri swore was the hundredth time that evening.
He kissed me. He wouldn't have done it unless he felt something. And I've had how many people tell me, as it if were totally obvious, that Conrad and I...
Yuuri's heart stopped momentarily before resuming its hammering with a force greater than he thought necessary.
I wish Conrad would hurry. I feel like I'll lose my courage. Agitated, Yuuri resumed his pacing and ran both hands through his hair, fingers curling around fistfuls though he refrained from actually pulling. Aah, I shouldn't have done it! Really, would it be so bad to have things stay the way they are? What if I make a complete mess of this? He worried his lower lip between his teeth as his steps repeatedly flattened the same ten steps of grass.
...regret your decisions...
The voice reverberated in his mind, and Yuuri halted mid-pace, nearly tripping himself. He concentrated hard, trying to place just whose voice it was, what the rest of quote was. "I know I've heard-"
Mediocre and childish. Whatever you did, you did only halfway. You would regret your decisions and feel lost.
Yuuri gasped as if punched in the stomach, slowly doubling over in psychological pain, and he could clearly see the image of Shinou standing in his family's kitchen. To keep from falling over Yuuri slowly lowered himself to the ground.
Don't you want to know why I chose you as Maou?
"Stop it," Yuuri whispered, hands clamped over his ears as the horrible words assaulted him, words Soushu had thrown at Yuuri while he controlled Shinou's soul.
I needed your mediocrity.
"No! I don't want to hear it!" He curled his legs to his chest and buried his face in his knees, waiting for the flashback to end. It wasn't the first time this had occurred since the aftermath of Soushu's demise, and coincidentally - or not, he reflected - each time it happened Yuuri was already bogged down and emotionally exhausted from other issues in his life and had little in the way of inner strength with which to fight off the negativity.
Even the knowledge that those words belonged to Soushu alone, that Shinou believed the exact opposite, did not soothe Yuuri's distress because behind the cold-hearted jabs lay the smallest bit of truth, hidden in the depths of Yuuri's heart. Soushu fed off fear and anxiety, and in his times of self-doubt Yuuri battled against both in spades.
Limitless mediocrity. That's all there is to you.
"It's not," Yuuri insisted frantically. "I'm doing my best, and I know it! So just leave me alone, why don't you?!" His declaration echoed around the empty ball field, and Yuuri stared down miserably at the grass around his feet. "I will do this," he muttered. "I'll show Soushu and everybody else that I have what it takes to see this through." The butterflies in his stomach competed with his pounding heart to see which could cause him to panic more. Yuuri rocked forward and backward, trying to ignore the unpleasant sensations and the accompanying desire to hurry back to the castle and hide.
"I'm staying here," he said determinedly, hoping that by committing to his course of action aloud he could gain encouragement from his own words. "I'm staying here until Conrad comes and I'm going to tell him just how much I care about him!" Gazing at the sky, its reds and oranges slowly consumed by the indigo of twilight, Yuuri added silently, I just hope it's soon...
"Yuuri!" The cry was faint, and under other circumstances Yuuri would have dismissed it as a figment of his strained imagination, but as he stood and turned he knew the sight of Conrad running full-tilt toward the baseball field would greet him.
"Conrad." A grin broke across Yuuri's face until the butterflies reminded him of why he was there in the first place.
Oh no. I can't do this! What do I say? This is impossible...
His thoughts tripped over themselves, one after another after another, and Yuuri shook his head desperately to quiet them. "Soushu's trap," he told himself. "That's Soushu's trap and I am not falling into it." Bracing himself as best he could, Yuuri waited until Conrad slowed to a stop in front of him. Conrad, he noted with slight irritation, did not appear to be winded in the least despite having no doubt run the entire distance from the Blood Pledge Castle to the field.
"Is something the matter, Heika?" Yuuri immediately second-guessed himself because the question sounded breathless to his ears, but Conrad was not breathing heavily or deeply.
"I might answer if you'd use my name," he grumbled good-naturedly in reply, crossing his arms at the unwanted title. "It can't be that you forgot it, since you named me in the first place." Really, he thought, they'd had variations of this conversation a hundred different times, when would Conrad learn?
"I apologize, Yuuri," Conrad answered, giving a slight inclination of his head. "Did you need something?"
"Need something?" Yuuri repeated, blinking up at the brunet.
"You requested that I meet you here," came the gentle reminder.
"Yeah. Yeah, I did." Unable to even think about what he wished to say with those warm brown eyes trained on him, Yuuri shuffled from one foot to the other and took two steps to the side. "I, um, yeah. Something important to say."
The rustle of grass behind him revealed that Conrad had followed. "Yuuri?"
What do I say? Those four words looped through Yuuri's head, offering no solution to his dilemma. Yuuri swallowed and gathered his bravery. I am Shibuya Yuuri, 27th Maou of Shin Makoku, hand-picked by Shinou himself. I can bluster my way through one damn confession! "Conrad, I..." He trailed off, recalling the vow Conrad had sworn to him multiple times. "You said before that you would give your arm, your body, your life for me. Do you remember that?"
"Of course I do."
"Okay, just checking." No! That's not what I wanted to say! "Uh, what I meant was, I know you would, and you have, really..." Conrad had lost his very arm, had used his own body to block arrows meant for Yuuri, had skirted the edges of death time and again for Yuuri's sake. "What I'm trying to say is, I know that you're fiercely loyal to me, the Maou." Yuuri took a deep breath and tried to raise his eyes to meet Conrad's, but they remained locked on his scuffed, uninteresting shoes instead, focused to the point of not blinking. "But I'm wondering... if you could be so dedicated to me... just me."
Conrad's feet brought him closer, and his boots joined Yuuri's shoes in the young kind's field of vision. "I am," he answered.
"No, not like that." Gah, how do I say this properly? "I mean as a... a..." A lover? No way! I can't say that! A partner? That's too cheesy... "Can I be the most important person to you in this world?" Yuuri risked a glance up only to meet Conrad's kind smile.
"You already are, Yuuri. Since before you were born, I have lived my life for your sake alone."
Yuuri averted his eyes to the side in an effort to hide his embarrassment at Conrad's straightforward statement. "When you say it that way it sounds kinda creepy," he mumbled.
A low chuckle met Yuuri's ears. "I apologize, but it is true."
I know. Acknowledging the truth of Conrad's confession gave Yuuri the sensation of being wrapped in a soft blanket, warm and safe.
He wasn't sure how to ask Conrad for 'forever,' and Yuuri had no idea how long 'forever' would be anyway, with the differences between Mazoku and human life spans. But I guess technically we're both half Mazoku and half human. Something did need to be said, though, he knew that. "Would you maybe be willing to do that for a bit longer, Conrad? And- and I'll do the same for you?" Conrad was still watching him in mild amusement, and Yuuri could sense the easy agreement coming before it passed Conrad's lips. "Not as Maou and soldier," he clarified hastily. "As us. Conrad," he pointed toward the older man, then to himself, "and Yuuri."
"For the rest of my life," Conrad answered, not breaking eye contact as he leaned forward, fingers tilting the young Maou's chin upward as he deliberately added, "Yuuri," moments before sealing the promise with a slow, gentle kiss.
~ ~ ~
Translations:
Maou: Demon King
Heika: Your Majesty
Mazoku: the Demon people
Now that I've reached the end... I'm sad that it's done!! I'll have to dabble in the fandom more in the future, because now that the pressure's gone I want to work with these guys again! I guess that's the way it goes...
And now that this series is done we get the announcement that season 3 is coming... Oh well. I guess I leave this as "post season 2" and if anything happens in season 3, well, it becomes AU. I can live with that. -.- ::is a dork and gets worked up about time line placement of her fic::
For those of you who've come all this way with me, you deserve much luff and gratitude and cookies! Thanks for your kind words and support, it's what encouraged me to keep going even when I wanted to just chuck it out the window and give up. You all rawk.
Fandom: Kyou Kara Maou
Pairing: Conrad/Yuuri
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: The characters belong to their creators; the song titles belong to Rockapella.
Notes: 10th and final chapter in my Kingdom of Shy series, previous parts found here. There are SPOILERS here for the end of the series season 2.
Translation of Japanese terms at the end.
Everything to Me
Yuuri rubbed his hands together in an attempt to warm them from the growing chill in the evening air. He hadn't brought a jacket or anything warmer than his customary attire which, he reflected ruefully, had been a mistake. The sun, already setting now, painted the sky a fiery orange that seemed to contrast with the shivering Maou.
When I left that note for Conrad maybe I should've written "I'll wait until it gets too cold." instead of "I'll wait until you come."
Shaking his head at how wimpy the thought made him sound - and I'm not a wimp! - Yuuri stood up and paced down the earthen dike. The irony that this was the place he had chosen was not lost on him; rather, Yuuri reflected, perhaps he had come here unconsciously on purpose.
"For all the sense that that makes," Yuuri muttered. He gazed back toward Blood Pledge Castle, searching for signs of anyone approaching, but saw none. His fingers wrung together, betraying the nervousness Yuuri felt, and he stopped and faced the baseball field, remembering the countless times the two of them had played catch there. The memory of their last game bombarded him for what Yuuri swore was the hundredth time that evening.
He kissed me. He wouldn't have done it unless he felt something. And I've had how many people tell me, as it if were totally obvious, that Conrad and I...
Yuuri's heart stopped momentarily before resuming its hammering with a force greater than he thought necessary.
I wish Conrad would hurry. I feel like I'll lose my courage. Agitated, Yuuri resumed his pacing and ran both hands through his hair, fingers curling around fistfuls though he refrained from actually pulling. Aah, I shouldn't have done it! Really, would it be so bad to have things stay the way they are? What if I make a complete mess of this? He worried his lower lip between his teeth as his steps repeatedly flattened the same ten steps of grass.
...regret your decisions...
The voice reverberated in his mind, and Yuuri halted mid-pace, nearly tripping himself. He concentrated hard, trying to place just whose voice it was, what the rest of quote was. "I know I've heard-"
Mediocre and childish. Whatever you did, you did only halfway. You would regret your decisions and feel lost.
Yuuri gasped as if punched in the stomach, slowly doubling over in psychological pain, and he could clearly see the image of Shinou standing in his family's kitchen. To keep from falling over Yuuri slowly lowered himself to the ground.
Don't you want to know why I chose you as Maou?
"Stop it," Yuuri whispered, hands clamped over his ears as the horrible words assaulted him, words Soushu had thrown at Yuuri while he controlled Shinou's soul.
I needed your mediocrity.
"No! I don't want to hear it!" He curled his legs to his chest and buried his face in his knees, waiting for the flashback to end. It wasn't the first time this had occurred since the aftermath of Soushu's demise, and coincidentally - or not, he reflected - each time it happened Yuuri was already bogged down and emotionally exhausted from other issues in his life and had little in the way of inner strength with which to fight off the negativity.
Even the knowledge that those words belonged to Soushu alone, that Shinou believed the exact opposite, did not soothe Yuuri's distress because behind the cold-hearted jabs lay the smallest bit of truth, hidden in the depths of Yuuri's heart. Soushu fed off fear and anxiety, and in his times of self-doubt Yuuri battled against both in spades.
Limitless mediocrity. That's all there is to you.
"It's not," Yuuri insisted frantically. "I'm doing my best, and I know it! So just leave me alone, why don't you?!" His declaration echoed around the empty ball field, and Yuuri stared down miserably at the grass around his feet. "I will do this," he muttered. "I'll show Soushu and everybody else that I have what it takes to see this through." The butterflies in his stomach competed with his pounding heart to see which could cause him to panic more. Yuuri rocked forward and backward, trying to ignore the unpleasant sensations and the accompanying desire to hurry back to the castle and hide.
"I'm staying here," he said determinedly, hoping that by committing to his course of action aloud he could gain encouragement from his own words. "I'm staying here until Conrad comes and I'm going to tell him just how much I care about him!" Gazing at the sky, its reds and oranges slowly consumed by the indigo of twilight, Yuuri added silently, I just hope it's soon...
"Yuuri!" The cry was faint, and under other circumstances Yuuri would have dismissed it as a figment of his strained imagination, but as he stood and turned he knew the sight of Conrad running full-tilt toward the baseball field would greet him.
"Conrad." A grin broke across Yuuri's face until the butterflies reminded him of why he was there in the first place.
Oh no. I can't do this! What do I say? This is impossible...
His thoughts tripped over themselves, one after another after another, and Yuuri shook his head desperately to quiet them. "Soushu's trap," he told himself. "That's Soushu's trap and I am not falling into it." Bracing himself as best he could, Yuuri waited until Conrad slowed to a stop in front of him. Conrad, he noted with slight irritation, did not appear to be winded in the least despite having no doubt run the entire distance from the Blood Pledge Castle to the field.
"Is something the matter, Heika?" Yuuri immediately second-guessed himself because the question sounded breathless to his ears, but Conrad was not breathing heavily or deeply.
"I might answer if you'd use my name," he grumbled good-naturedly in reply, crossing his arms at the unwanted title. "It can't be that you forgot it, since you named me in the first place." Really, he thought, they'd had variations of this conversation a hundred different times, when would Conrad learn?
"I apologize, Yuuri," Conrad answered, giving a slight inclination of his head. "Did you need something?"
"Need something?" Yuuri repeated, blinking up at the brunet.
"You requested that I meet you here," came the gentle reminder.
"Yeah. Yeah, I did." Unable to even think about what he wished to say with those warm brown eyes trained on him, Yuuri shuffled from one foot to the other and took two steps to the side. "I, um, yeah. Something important to say."
The rustle of grass behind him revealed that Conrad had followed. "Yuuri?"
What do I say? Those four words looped through Yuuri's head, offering no solution to his dilemma. Yuuri swallowed and gathered his bravery. I am Shibuya Yuuri, 27th Maou of Shin Makoku, hand-picked by Shinou himself. I can bluster my way through one damn confession! "Conrad, I..." He trailed off, recalling the vow Conrad had sworn to him multiple times. "You said before that you would give your arm, your body, your life for me. Do you remember that?"
"Of course I do."
"Okay, just checking." No! That's not what I wanted to say! "Uh, what I meant was, I know you would, and you have, really..." Conrad had lost his very arm, had used his own body to block arrows meant for Yuuri, had skirted the edges of death time and again for Yuuri's sake. "What I'm trying to say is, I know that you're fiercely loyal to me, the Maou." Yuuri took a deep breath and tried to raise his eyes to meet Conrad's, but they remained locked on his scuffed, uninteresting shoes instead, focused to the point of not blinking. "But I'm wondering... if you could be so dedicated to me... just me."
Conrad's feet brought him closer, and his boots joined Yuuri's shoes in the young kind's field of vision. "I am," he answered.
"No, not like that." Gah, how do I say this properly? "I mean as a... a..." A lover? No way! I can't say that! A partner? That's too cheesy... "Can I be the most important person to you in this world?" Yuuri risked a glance up only to meet Conrad's kind smile.
"You already are, Yuuri. Since before you were born, I have lived my life for your sake alone."
Yuuri averted his eyes to the side in an effort to hide his embarrassment at Conrad's straightforward statement. "When you say it that way it sounds kinda creepy," he mumbled.
A low chuckle met Yuuri's ears. "I apologize, but it is true."
I know. Acknowledging the truth of Conrad's confession gave Yuuri the sensation of being wrapped in a soft blanket, warm and safe.
He wasn't sure how to ask Conrad for 'forever,' and Yuuri had no idea how long 'forever' would be anyway, with the differences between Mazoku and human life spans. But I guess technically we're both half Mazoku and half human. Something did need to be said, though, he knew that. "Would you maybe be willing to do that for a bit longer, Conrad? And- and I'll do the same for you?" Conrad was still watching him in mild amusement, and Yuuri could sense the easy agreement coming before it passed Conrad's lips. "Not as Maou and soldier," he clarified hastily. "As us. Conrad," he pointed toward the older man, then to himself, "and Yuuri."
"For the rest of my life," Conrad answered, not breaking eye contact as he leaned forward, fingers tilting the young Maou's chin upward as he deliberately added, "Yuuri," moments before sealing the promise with a slow, gentle kiss.
~ ~ ~
Translations:
Maou: Demon King
Heika: Your Majesty
Mazoku: the Demon people
Now that I've reached the end... I'm sad that it's done!! I'll have to dabble in the fandom more in the future, because now that the pressure's gone I want to work with these guys again! I guess that's the way it goes...
And now that this series is done we get the announcement that season 3 is coming... Oh well. I guess I leave this as "post season 2" and if anything happens in season 3, well, it becomes AU. I can live with that. -.- ::is a dork and gets worked up about time line placement of her fic::
For those of you who've come all this way with me, you deserve much luff and gratitude and cookies! Thanks for your kind words and support, it's what encouraged me to keep going even when I wanted to just chuck it out the window and give up. You all rawk.