Anamnesis.
Glad to see naoki_hime and nonesane have already gotten the ball rolling. ♥ I'm going to throw my hat into the ring with the prologue I wrote today for my NaNo project, Anamnesis.
I don't plan on posting drafts here too often (though anyone who wants to read along as I write is welcome to do so at derailedtrees; comments = ♥), but I AM TERRIBLE AT WRITING BEGINNINGS -- seriously, just awful -- and so I'm hoping for some advice with this introduction. I can never seem to find the right balance between hook, description, and exposition ... where's the line, for instance, between 'vague enough to be interesting' and 'too vague to be engaging'? Intro paragraphs are the very last things I write for school papers. I just can't get the hang of jumping in.
So here's the first, VERY rough draft of my NaNo prologue. It's only 2,848 words, so I'd be outrageously grateful if anyone wants to take a look at it and offer their criticisms and advice. A crappy beginning can absolutely destroy a story before it gets off the ground, and mine has a ridiculous amount of room for improvement.
If you're going to read, just be aware: time is NOT necessarily linear in this story (any confusion there is deliberate), and the repeated lines and descriptive elements are intentional. (Still, if they're more annoying than effective, don't hesitate to tell me. XD)
All advice, suggestions, or general comments appreciated. ♥
( Fake cut to my writing journal.)
Er, I haven't posted a synopsis, because I'm pretty sure most of you have been listening to me ramble about this idea for over a year now ... *ducks* But a very brief summary for the non-initiated:
Anamnesis is an adult Steampunk fairytale which takes place primarily in the clockwork capital of a kingdom called Clarior. The first knight of the realm, whose heart is the key to the City, is injured in a terrible accident; now his broken heart is unable to wind the mechanisms keeping everyone and everything alive. It's up to a small handful of citizens, lead by their recently deposed king, to figure out how to put the knight back together again before their time runs out.
Thank you!
I don't plan on posting drafts here too often (though anyone who wants to read along as I write is welcome to do so at derailedtrees; comments = ♥), but I AM TERRIBLE AT WRITING BEGINNINGS -- seriously, just awful -- and so I'm hoping for some advice with this introduction. I can never seem to find the right balance between hook, description, and exposition ... where's the line, for instance, between 'vague enough to be interesting' and 'too vague to be engaging'? Intro paragraphs are the very last things I write for school papers. I just can't get the hang of jumping in.
So here's the first, VERY rough draft of my NaNo prologue. It's only 2,848 words, so I'd be outrageously grateful if anyone wants to take a look at it and offer their criticisms and advice. A crappy beginning can absolutely destroy a story before it gets off the ground, and mine has a ridiculous amount of room for improvement.
If you're going to read, just be aware: time is NOT necessarily linear in this story (any confusion there is deliberate), and the repeated lines and descriptive elements are intentional. (Still, if they're more annoying than effective, don't hesitate to tell me. XD)
All advice, suggestions, or general comments appreciated. ♥
( Fake cut to my writing journal.)
Er, I haven't posted a synopsis, because I'm pretty sure most of you have been listening to me ramble about this idea for over a year now ... *ducks* But a very brief summary for the non-initiated:
Anamnesis is an adult Steampunk fairytale which takes place primarily in the clockwork capital of a kingdom called Clarior. The first knight of the realm, whose heart is the key to the City, is injured in a terrible accident; now his broken heart is unable to wind the mechanisms keeping everyone and everything alive. It's up to a small handful of citizens, lead by their recently deposed king, to figure out how to put the knight back together again before their time runs out.
Thank you!