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you hung up on me three times, wait now that makes four. Four after i'm out of breath. Four after you press me in into the ground. Four after you make me feel just as alone as one year ago. Nothing is ever real with you. Nothing ever adds up. Nothing ever is worthy. Especially me.
when i tell you the truth, you turn it into a lie.
Unless i fit the mold you can never believe anything i say. For a while honestly I was enjoying our time. Something i never want to tell you. Time set aside from the comfort of the ones who at least act like they care to be around me. I was there through all of this and then in just a few phone calls and muted silences and through my tears and through your screams it gets turned into a void.
Why do i let myself care so much still after all this. Maybe a hope of making the best bloom from the worst. Maybe I wish i still could trust you. Maybe you should have never given me a second chance. I feel like i would have had a better chance.
This is not a new game.
Saying goodbye with such conviction before the hum goes dead. One word to take it all away. Making me want to go back on the medication i hate to take. Making me stare at myself in the mirror with streams covering my face.
I don't know how to show you who i am. How happy i can be. To be honest with who i have become. But I know you will never agree.
Reminding me of everything that i have regretted. You never make things better with your money i wish i had your heart instead.
when i tell you the truth, you turn it into a lie.
Unless i fit the mold you can never believe anything i say. For a while honestly I was enjoying our time. Something i never want to tell you. Time set aside from the comfort of the ones who at least act like they care to be around me. I was there through all of this and then in just a few phone calls and muted silences and through my tears and through your screams it gets turned into a void.
Why do i let myself care so much still after all this. Maybe a hope of making the best bloom from the worst. Maybe I wish i still could trust you. Maybe you should have never given me a second chance. I feel like i would have had a better chance.
This is not a new game.
Saying goodbye with such conviction before the hum goes dead. One word to take it all away. Making me want to go back on the medication i hate to take. Making me stare at myself in the mirror with streams covering my face.
I don't know how to show you who i am. How happy i can be. To be honest with who i have become. But I know you will never agree.
Reminding me of everything that i have regretted. You never make things better with your money i wish i had your heart instead.