Live Journal I've Missed You So!
A couple of months ago I tried to access livejournal on whim because I felt the need to record some very personal thoughts. And my access was denied! I'm not sure if it was my interent connection acting up or the site going through maintaince, but I was crushed. I thought for one fleeting second that livejournal had disappeared from the interent world forever, and along with it my 600+ memories. Not that all of my entries have been positive (most are emo-ish or scatterbrained ramblings) but they are my entries nonetheless! I'm very glad to see that was not the case at all.
I miss livejournal. I miss the days when it was the foremost method of keeping tabs on your friends. Days before the instant messaging boom. Days before the glitz and needless applications present in Myspace and Facebook. Wow, writing that makes me sound very old and bitter. It makes me feel very old and bitter too. I guess you'll have that.
I've pretty much disowned my Myspace and Facebook counterparts - my extensive Myspace blogs and drunken Facebook pictures just don't do it for me anymore, which makes me certain it doesn't do it for my friends as they are very preoccupied with their own extensive blogs and drunken pictures. So far I have heard no complaints regarding my lack of internet activity, though honestly my lack of internet activity does not assist me much in discovering if there are any complaints.
I've discovered very recently, and foolishly late, that I enjoy being around people. People I have things in common with, people who make me laugh. People I consider friends. And while modern technology makes it possible to stay connected to them regardless of time and space, it is no substitute for human interaction.
College has been the only time in my life I have easily, and in excess, forged lasting friendships. The type of friendships I read about in books during my young adult years and hoped one day to stumble upon. While I was beyond happy to meet these wonderful people, lack of real world experience (or perhaps lack of literary diversity) kept my from truly cherishing the gift I had covetted and been granted.
I think back often to my time spent at college. Try as I might not to, I have a few regrets about it. The foremost being my time spent on the interent. It depresses me to no end when I attempt to calculate the hours I spent surfing the internet. Downloading music. Posting in forums. It brings me to tears when I consider the evenings I spent locked in my bedroom chatting with net pals from all over the world when I had three amazing friends living under the same roof fully capable and willing to meet my socialization needs.
Please don't get me wrong. My college days were not completely spent holed up in my room with my fingers attached to my keyboard and mouse. I was quite a social being, and have a long list of good, bad and highly amusing recounts I can share at the drop of a hat.
I just want to kick myself when I think of all opportunities I missed to add to that list. The days when I claimed to be "ill" or "tired" so as to spend a few extra hours on the net. The nights I passed up get togethers to chat with a net pal about Harry Potter, which was absolutely the only thing we had in common. The phone calls I cut short and the dinner invitations I blew off. Hell, even the weekend drinking binges I turned down.
I never fully grasped how much I would miss having friends around every corner. Good friends. True friends. I suppose you can liken it up to the "you don't know what you have until it is gone" philosophy. It would be nice if life were so simple that I could shrug my shoulders and chalk one up to experience. Life isn't so simple, or at least mine isn't.
I miss my friends and I miss them terribly every day. I miss the good and the bad and the very mundane. I miss Ryan blasting his music loud enough to wake me up in the mornings. I miss smoking on the back porch with Kenny. I miss Jayson being moody over his workload and the approaching project deadlines. I miss Guitar Hero with Bough and Jon. I miss Megs crying at the bar. I miss pizza nights with Chad. I miss Chai Lattes and fandom goodness with Ambler in the library. I miss dragging Manda to Wilk socials. I miss doing rounds with Kira and Chrissy. I miss bugging Bridget to buy me alcohol. I miss begging Kat to let me play her Sims. I miss talking about books with Buss. I miss early morning Spanish class with Donnie. I miss trips home with Matt. I miss working overnight, getting McDonalds at 8am, mixing Jack Daniels with orange juice and dancing around my apartment with Wyatt just to annoy my annoying upstairs neighbors. I miss Allies meetings and Misty Monday Movies Nights. I miss Decemberween and Piggytines Day. I miss the basement.
Yet, so much time has passed that I am even hesitant in calling them my friends. Some I haven't spoken to or seen in almost three years. This is not singularly due to lack of communication on their part - I am well aware that I lack greatly in that arena. Typically I like to blame my newfound (and ever growing) hatred of the internet and my guilt over falling victim to its mass appeal. I know I can pick up a phone, pen a snail mail letter or take a road trip. However life, in that funny ironic way it operates, does particularly spare me much means to do any of that. Alas, there is no real answer.
Otherwise, things are going as well as to be expected with me. I have a job I don't loathe (with good hours and decent pay) but does not challenge me. I see my sister, my mom and my gram (the only family members I deem of great importance) fairly often. I am in a relationship with a great man who is more than I could ever ask for. I have a considerable amount of belongings I cherish - car, ps3, ipod, cell phone, etc. I've been laboring over a work of fiction I think has real potential and is written from the heart.
That void is still present. The missing link in a life of comfortable living - the friendship link.
I don't write this to make anyone feel angry or guilty. I don't write it wishing for spams of comments to stroke my ego and assure me that I am wonderful and well missed. I write it to write it and for no other reason than to ease the weight the tiniest bit. Perhaps to flex my writing skills, which I have vowed to do daily.
I'll probably post this on Myspace too, as much as it pains me. Regardless of my personal feelings about the site, it is still the most effective way to reach the few I wish to read this. Damn irony.
And fuck spell check.
I miss livejournal. I miss the days when it was the foremost method of keeping tabs on your friends. Days before the instant messaging boom. Days before the glitz and needless applications present in Myspace and Facebook. Wow, writing that makes me sound very old and bitter. It makes me feel very old and bitter too. I guess you'll have that.
I've pretty much disowned my Myspace and Facebook counterparts - my extensive Myspace blogs and drunken Facebook pictures just don't do it for me anymore, which makes me certain it doesn't do it for my friends as they are very preoccupied with their own extensive blogs and drunken pictures. So far I have heard no complaints regarding my lack of internet activity, though honestly my lack of internet activity does not assist me much in discovering if there are any complaints.
I've discovered very recently, and foolishly late, that I enjoy being around people. People I have things in common with, people who make me laugh. People I consider friends. And while modern technology makes it possible to stay connected to them regardless of time and space, it is no substitute for human interaction.
College has been the only time in my life I have easily, and in excess, forged lasting friendships. The type of friendships I read about in books during my young adult years and hoped one day to stumble upon. While I was beyond happy to meet these wonderful people, lack of real world experience (or perhaps lack of literary diversity) kept my from truly cherishing the gift I had covetted and been granted.
I think back often to my time spent at college. Try as I might not to, I have a few regrets about it. The foremost being my time spent on the interent. It depresses me to no end when I attempt to calculate the hours I spent surfing the internet. Downloading music. Posting in forums. It brings me to tears when I consider the evenings I spent locked in my bedroom chatting with net pals from all over the world when I had three amazing friends living under the same roof fully capable and willing to meet my socialization needs.
Please don't get me wrong. My college days were not completely spent holed up in my room with my fingers attached to my keyboard and mouse. I was quite a social being, and have a long list of good, bad and highly amusing recounts I can share at the drop of a hat.
I just want to kick myself when I think of all opportunities I missed to add to that list. The days when I claimed to be "ill" or "tired" so as to spend a few extra hours on the net. The nights I passed up get togethers to chat with a net pal about Harry Potter, which was absolutely the only thing we had in common. The phone calls I cut short and the dinner invitations I blew off. Hell, even the weekend drinking binges I turned down.
I never fully grasped how much I would miss having friends around every corner. Good friends. True friends. I suppose you can liken it up to the "you don't know what you have until it is gone" philosophy. It would be nice if life were so simple that I could shrug my shoulders and chalk one up to experience. Life isn't so simple, or at least mine isn't.
I miss my friends and I miss them terribly every day. I miss the good and the bad and the very mundane. I miss Ryan blasting his music loud enough to wake me up in the mornings. I miss smoking on the back porch with Kenny. I miss Jayson being moody over his workload and the approaching project deadlines. I miss Guitar Hero with Bough and Jon. I miss Megs crying at the bar. I miss pizza nights with Chad. I miss Chai Lattes and fandom goodness with Ambler in the library. I miss dragging Manda to Wilk socials. I miss doing rounds with Kira and Chrissy. I miss bugging Bridget to buy me alcohol. I miss begging Kat to let me play her Sims. I miss talking about books with Buss. I miss early morning Spanish class with Donnie. I miss trips home with Matt. I miss working overnight, getting McDonalds at 8am, mixing Jack Daniels with orange juice and dancing around my apartment with Wyatt just to annoy my annoying upstairs neighbors. I miss Allies meetings and Misty Monday Movies Nights. I miss Decemberween and Piggytines Day. I miss the basement.
Yet, so much time has passed that I am even hesitant in calling them my friends. Some I haven't spoken to or seen in almost three years. This is not singularly due to lack of communication on their part - I am well aware that I lack greatly in that arena. Typically I like to blame my newfound (and ever growing) hatred of the internet and my guilt over falling victim to its mass appeal. I know I can pick up a phone, pen a snail mail letter or take a road trip. However life, in that funny ironic way it operates, does particularly spare me much means to do any of that. Alas, there is no real answer.
Otherwise, things are going as well as to be expected with me. I have a job I don't loathe (with good hours and decent pay) but does not challenge me. I see my sister, my mom and my gram (the only family members I deem of great importance) fairly often. I am in a relationship with a great man who is more than I could ever ask for. I have a considerable amount of belongings I cherish - car, ps3, ipod, cell phone, etc. I've been laboring over a work of fiction I think has real potential and is written from the heart.
That void is still present. The missing link in a life of comfortable living - the friendship link.
I don't write this to make anyone feel angry or guilty. I don't write it wishing for spams of comments to stroke my ego and assure me that I am wonderful and well missed. I write it to write it and for no other reason than to ease the weight the tiniest bit. Perhaps to flex my writing skills, which I have vowed to do daily.
I'll probably post this on Myspace too, as much as it pains me. Regardless of my personal feelings about the site, it is still the most effective way to reach the few I wish to read this. Damn irony.
And fuck spell check.