(no subject)
I have soo much shit on my mind right now!! AHHH. Im sick of having friends that party and wanting me to go. I want to be able to go to parties again! I dont want to drink like EVER again.. But even if i were the DD or something.. just to get me out of the damn house! Im soooo tired of getting invited to go out and just saying no without even asking my parents. Cuz i know what there answers would be! It sucks being so far out of the circle now. Like everyone i used to hang out with goes out and parties and i cant.. tonight after the game.. i came home and practiced piano then got online! Shoot me!!! GOD what a freakin loser! Who does that on a friday night? ME!! Ahh.. Im so mad right now! I swear I cant even picture myself drinking anytime in the near future.. my life was changed 5 months ago and im truely grateful for that but at the same time it totally put a damper on my social life. I like having friends in my show choir and band people but its not like im ever included in their get-togethers.. So im stuck at home studding or reading or just flushing my head down the toilet. You know.. i just want to go.. i dont even know what the fuck i want. I want to go away to college and get away from my life as i know it cuz right now.. IT SUCKS!!