The Long Road, Part 3/?

[scowilily]

Title: The Long Road
Author: scowilily
Rating: PG
Pairing: Alan/Kevin
Summary: The love story of Alan Bradley. AU
Author's Note: Hoo-boy. Alan throws himself where angels fear to tread, and so do I. I've rewritten this piece two or three times; I'm still not completely happy with it. But "...we must move forward, not backward, upward not forward, and always

Comments

[grey_sw]

Fantastic. The scene at the beach was perfect, as was the idea of them all playing eight-ball. Alan's feelings are so confused and raw here, and the contrast between the domestic scenes and what's going on in his head really captures what it's like to fall for a friend who isn't willing to reciprocate. I also liked Quorra in this -- she comes across as being quite strong and two-dimensional despite her naivete. I cannot wait to read her and Alan's adventures on the Grid!

I especially love the subtle insight into Kevin's reintegration with Clu. The apple scene is quietly brilliant, very well done!

[scowilily]

>>the contrast between the domestic scenes and what's going on in his head really captures what it's like to fall for a friend who isn't willing to reciprocate.<<

Yeah, Alan's tragic flaw is always his preoccupation with himself. You almost feel sorry for him because he honestly doesn't mean any harm and he tries hard to reach out. But now it's time for the reality check... Kevin's lived in a whole 'nother world, and we're gonna see more of that in the next part (hopefully).

The apple/nutella was also a call-out to certain posts on the kinkmeme ::coughcough::

I'm so glad you're still with me :D Yay!!!

[grey_sw]

I did notice the nutella thing. Hard not to, really. :D

I couldn't help but imagine Clu inside Kevin's mind going arrrrrggh apples I remember being ~~made~~ and I hate you and I want to throw things off tables, and all the while Kevin is like dude, come on, we are on an outing, could you please not make me act like a crazy dictator at the concession stand at the zoo?

[scowilily]

Crazy cute. I could not have put the Clu/Kevin byplay better! <3

One of the aspects that made part three so difficult to write was 'how to portray Kevin.' I wanted to stick with Alan's POV, so naturally the whole thing had to be less obvious than breaking into a Kevin-Clu back-and-forth (as much as I SO wanted to at points). Walking that line between cohesive Kevin and conflicted Kevin was tough.

It's gratuitous pleasure to have that Clu-Kevin wish fulfilled by someone else reading! B)

[grey_sw]

I wanted to stick with Alan's POV, so naturally the whole thing had to be less obvious than breaking into a Kevin-Clu back-and-forth (as much as I SO wanted to at points). Walking that line between cohesive Kevin and conflicted Kevin was tough.

Yeah, this was definitely the right choice. It's subtle, but it really works. "You're too fucking tall", "killing new sentient species", the thing about Flynn being ridiculously uptight about his room... it definitely comes through when it needs to. Rewards a second read-through, too! ♥

[grey_sw]

oh, and yeah, that's probably where Tron gets his single-mindedness from. Tron is like I fight for the users! and Alan is going I get into Kevin's pants! and the whole thing is just generally tragic.

[scowilily]

So evil you are! Tron-Rinzler is definitely gonna make an appearance. UGGHHH authorneedstoshutupbeforeshegivesawaythestory