Death of an Appliance
INT. RHIANNON'S KITCHEN - DAY
RHIANNON: My orange-pecan muffins are cooling, and I'm about to blend a batch of strawberry smoothies. I am a competent young adult who is about to be rewarded with delicious food!
RHIANNON'S BLENDER: Fuck you, bitch! Fuck your tofu, fuck your ice cubes, and fuck your tiny little strawberry seeds!
A single spark erupts inside the jar of RHIANNON'S BLENDER. A deathly silence falls over the KITCHEN.
RHIANNON: B-baby?
***
Those who read my old LJ might remember last year's "A Letter to My Blender," and will know that this was not our first little spat. Still, this is the first time it tried to light my tofu on fire, and this was the end of the line for us.
My blender and my aborted strawberry smoothies are currently resting in the dumpster next to my apartment complex. They will be transported to their final resting place later today, or possibly tomorrow if garbage collection is delayed due to the Labor Day holiday.
RHIANNON: My orange-pecan muffins are cooling, and I'm about to blend a batch of strawberry smoothies. I am a competent young adult who is about to be rewarded with delicious food!
RHIANNON'S BLENDER: Fuck you, bitch! Fuck your tofu, fuck your ice cubes, and fuck your tiny little strawberry seeds!
A single spark erupts inside the jar of RHIANNON'S BLENDER. A deathly silence falls over the KITCHEN.
RHIANNON: B-baby?
***
Those who read my old LJ might remember last year's "A Letter to My Blender," and will know that this was not our first little spat. Still, this is the first time it tried to light my tofu on fire, and this was the end of the line for us.
My blender and my aborted strawberry smoothies are currently resting in the dumpster next to my apartment complex. They will be transported to their final resting place later today, or possibly tomorrow if garbage collection is delayed due to the Labor Day holiday.