For Jack.

[scottysous]

Scotty spends too long in the shower, probably, leaning his face up into the spray, keeping the water just a little too hot, scrubbing and standing and struggling not to cry. It's almost a music video except for where he feels like shit; no, actually, it's probably more like a Lifetime movie. That actually sounds more appropriate. He feels violated

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[captainjack]

Once he was sure Prior was as okay as he could be, Jack made his way to Scotty's. He wasn't surprised to find the man gone. He'd skipped working on the bath house and instead kept to his lanai, working on other projects as he watched Scotty's place.

Until he saw the man come home.

And then Jack made his way over and knocked on Scotty's door and waited a few seconds before he said "Scotty? It's Jack..."

[scottysous]

Scotty dumps the sheets on the bed and swiftly makes his way out of his bedroom, with Vixen close behind him, curious about all the activity. Jack knocks and Vixen ducks behind Scotty's heels while Scotty takes a few seconds to decide if he wants to answer. The alternative is sitting alone in his kitchen feeling miserable. Maybe it'd be better to be miserable with Jack.

Scooping Vixen up, he slowly makes his way to the door and opens it, trying to fake a smile for Jack while Vixen strains to smell him.

"Morning, Jack," he murmurs.

[captainjack]

"Yeah, it is," he replied, looking Scotty over. He decided in an instant that there was no use being coy about it. "You look like shit. And I think we need to have a talk. Can I come in?"

[scottysous]

Scotty wonders if Jack knows, or if he just really looks like that much shit. Probably he knows.

He just nods; he steps back and opens the door wider for Jack, inviting him in, and makes his way to a chair. Vixen squirms to get loose, but settles down underneath Scotty's chair.

[captainjack]

Jack came in and shut the door behind him, then just leaned back against it.

"You get used to it, you know. The island making you do things. I've lost count of how many times it's happened to me."

[scottysous]

"Is that supposed to be comforting?" he asks, pulling his arms tight around himself as he looks up at Jack. "I feel so sick, Jack. What the island did to me, what I did to Prior, what we did together..."

He trails off when he feels his eyes tear up, and he looks back down at the floor, biting his lip.

[captainjack]

"Hey...hey, take a breath," Jack said, pushing off the door and coming over to rest his hand on Scotty's shoulder.

"Listen. When the island...does stuff...there's really nothing you can do. It's too powerful," he continued. "Nothing's going to make you feel better, but you can't let it ruin you, either."

[scottysous]

He squeezes his eyes shut, trying to fend off tears, though the weight of Jack's hand on his shoulder is comforting in the way that it makes Scotty want to crack open and cry. He reaches his hand up to set on top of Jack's, taking a few breaths to steady himself.

"It was just so awful," he breathes, then looks up, "this morning, I mean. Yesterday... Yesterday I was in love with him. This morning... I wasn't. But Prior was still..." He shakes his head. "How cruel is that?"

[captainjack]

"It's awful. He cares about you. To be honest, he's kind of fallen for you...but with your thing with Alcuin and the whole issue of his disease? Well, Prior is one of the biggest martyrs I've ever met. He wouldn't tell you, I don't think. So I will. Just so you know," Jack told him plainly.

"I know what it's like- the morning after. Not this time, but the last time it happened to me, I'd been helping the Doctor...thin the herd, as he put it. That, and helping Logan with the most hard line, fascist agenda I've heard of in a long time. Not a shining moment, and when it was over, I felt like- you can just imagine."

[scottysous]

This is a lot of information at once; he'd known that Prior was into him, but to hear it confirmed from Jack that Prior has fallen for him... Scotty feels sick all over again, just thinking of the way he looked as he picked his way out of bed this morning.

"Does he hate me?" he asks, almost thinking that maybe this would be easier if he did.

[captainjack]

"No," he replied softly. "He's afraid you hate him. He's a mess. Pretty much like you, except not. He said whatever happened didn't effect him. He...well, he's beating himself up for not realizing that it wasn't real."

[scottysous]

"It wasn't his fault," he says, firmly. "Prior didn't do that to me. The island did. And I... I was pretty convincing. It felt so real, Jack."

He swallows down another urge to cry and looks down at his lap because this is where he really feels guilty. "And I know that we... had sex, and I know that we were safe... but I can't help but be afraid now that I've caught something," he admits in a rush.

[captainjack]

Jack moved his hand from Scotty's shoulder to the back of his head to cradle him there.

"Scotty, stop right there. Prior is careful. Really careful. I get that it's scary, but...just stop. You'll worry yourself to death."

It wasn't that Jack knew firsthand, but he'd talked to Maureen, and he knew Mark. Prior was vigilant and he couldn't imagine that had changed with Scotty.

"Why don't you tell me about it. Not the sex. I mean how it felt real?"

[scottysous]

Scotty squeezes his eyes shut and drops his head; he doesn't really want to go back to how real it was because it only makes him feel violated and manipulated, and he starts to get nauseated again. He takes a deep breath, trying to calm himself down, and his voice is slightly uneven when he speaks.

"I was so sure I was in love with Prior," he admits softly, almost in a whisper. "I felt so in love with him. I didn't say it to him, but I felt it. It was... He was like no one I had ever loved before. And I loved it, I loved him, I loved everything."

[captainjack]

"I understand," Jack said gently. "It consumes you. I've been here so long that I forget that not everyone knows how it feels. I guess I've gotten jaded."

[scottysous]

He snorts, rubbing his hands over his eyes. "Well, pass along a little of that to me." He drops his hands and lets his head hang for a moment before he sits back again; lifting his head, he looks up at Jack.

"I just want to make this better. It wasn't fair to me, and it wasn't fair to Prior... And now what?" He stops, hesitating, before he winces. "And I think... I mean, before that... I think I had a little crush on him. But now... what? How are we supposed to get past this even to be friends?"