He Should've Hailed to the Chimp
Before I get to my normal ramblings I must talk about a couple things. I’ve worked in retail for awhile and I’ve seen some funny things. But yesterday I’ve seen the funniest thing I’ve seen whilst working. The flooring department at Lowe’s has 2 tables with 4 swivel chairs per table. I was helping a elderly couple picking out carpet when I heard the sound of what I thought was a Big Gulp hitting the floor. I looked over and this mother was bitching out a little kid for puking (it was a lot of puke). I felt really bad for this kid, he vomited on his coat and his mom was making him feel really bad. Then I realized that he spun on the chair until he ralphed. I remember being one of those kids that had to spin on those chairs, like they’ve never seen one before. And I always wondered why my mom always made me stop spinning…to keep me from ending up on a journal like this.
This week also marked the first time in D’s Live Journal’s 2 year history that I have ever been threatened to create a new masterpiece. This person will remain anonymous, although I’ll give you a little hint. She’s engaged (to Andy). For the rest of the journal (and for her own protection) I’ll give her a fictitious name, Qmeredith (the Q is silent). Watch out Qmeredith the Van Buren Boys have got my back...
I’ll sorry it’s taken me so long to write this journal, it’s been sitting around for the past 3 weeks waiting for me to finish it. The original idea for this post came from my cousin who searched my name and found an interesting site; called Order of Succession. Basically it goes through the order of succession for the President of the United States of America. It turns out that if the 19 people before me were to perish then I would in fact become President (bet you wished you were nicer to me now). That’s right I, Scottward Rudiger Dornbush (Former Grand Master of Funk) would become the 44th President. If you don’t believe me I urge you to check out the rankings (as of the time I wrote this I was 19th we’ll see what happens in the future).
How hard could it be to eliminate (this is entirely a joke for all FBI, CIA, A-Team, IRS, NASA, IRA, UGLT (super-bonus-points), NSA and any other federal acronym reading this (if you don’t believe me read the other journal entries)) the other 19? I mean I could just invite them all on “quail hunting” trips and the rest would just take care of itself. Before you know it the Buffalo Bills (and parentheses) Party will be running the country. I’d finally get some things done for this country, things that matter (I guess it’s true what they say, if you want something done right you’ve go to do it yourself) getting the Bills to the Superbowl (and winning). And I’d be willing to hand out pardons to anyone that helps them along the way (once again A-Team I’m joking…please don’t send B.A. Baracus after me (I pity the fool that takes this seriously)). I would need to hire some new secretaries to my cabinet, so if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to stake your claim in my comments. My cousin already claimed Secretary of Sunday Activities; which includes football, drinking and partying. I’m expecting him to fight for including Monday as a part of the weekend thus allowing for recovery, extending the football season and good Superbowl halftime shows (including lesbians, explosions, guns and car chases). Anyway I had a couple pictures made up of the First Lady and me.
I really wish I had more time to write something, but I've got to go to work soon.
This week also marked the first time in D’s Live Journal’s 2 year history that I have ever been threatened to create a new masterpiece. This person will remain anonymous, although I’ll give you a little hint. She’s engaged (to Andy). For the rest of the journal (and for her own protection) I’ll give her a fictitious name, Qmeredith (the Q is silent). Watch out Qmeredith the Van Buren Boys have got my back...
I’ll sorry it’s taken me so long to write this journal, it’s been sitting around for the past 3 weeks waiting for me to finish it. The original idea for this post came from my cousin who searched my name and found an interesting site; called Order of Succession. Basically it goes through the order of succession for the President of the United States of America. It turns out that if the 19 people before me were to perish then I would in fact become President (bet you wished you were nicer to me now). That’s right I, Scottward Rudiger Dornbush (Former Grand Master of Funk) would become the 44th President. If you don’t believe me I urge you to check out the rankings (as of the time I wrote this I was 19th we’ll see what happens in the future).
How hard could it be to eliminate (this is entirely a joke for all FBI, CIA, A-Team, IRS, NASA, IRA, UGLT (super-bonus-points), NSA and any other federal acronym reading this (if you don’t believe me read the other journal entries)) the other 19? I mean I could just invite them all on “quail hunting” trips and the rest would just take care of itself. Before you know it the Buffalo Bills (and parentheses) Party will be running the country. I’d finally get some things done for this country, things that matter (I guess it’s true what they say, if you want something done right you’ve go to do it yourself) getting the Bills to the Superbowl (and winning). And I’d be willing to hand out pardons to anyone that helps them along the way (once again A-Team I’m joking…please don’t send B.A. Baracus after me (I pity the fool that takes this seriously)). I would need to hire some new secretaries to my cabinet, so if anyone has any suggestions please feel free to stake your claim in my comments. My cousin already claimed Secretary of Sunday Activities; which includes football, drinking and partying. I’m expecting him to fight for including Monday as a part of the weekend thus allowing for recovery, extending the football season and good Superbowl halftime shows (including lesbians, explosions, guns and car chases). Anyway I had a couple pictures made up of the First Lady and me.
I really wish I had more time to write something, but I've got to go to work soon.