(no subject)
Alright, you guys. Here's a lesson you can learn from me. Never ever come to any decision, without first adequetly explaining your motives. Maybe when you have all the facts, I won't seem like a monster, or so I hope.
Once upon a time, there was a boy. This boy was a sophomore in high school, and only really had two friends (one of which was a kid he met Mr. Carter's Chem/Physics class). This boy was lonely, and somewhat misserable with his life. The next year he joined a club called Mountain Pointe Theatre Company. All of a sudden his friend total sky rocketed, and for the first time in his life the boy was trully happy. He graduated two years later with nothing but fond memories, and went off in to the big world of jobs and college.
About six months later (i.e. November of 2004), he looked at his life and realized that in actuality not a lot had changed. His best friends were still all in high school, and his life was going no where. (I'm going to randomly switch to first person now). I decided that I should take a break from all of that to clear my head, and get myself on course. It was a break, nothing more, and nothing less. At no time did I have any intention of saying "Goodbye, I don't want to be your friend anymore." So, I resolved myself to disapear for a while, and re-apear a few weeks later, having taken some steps towards making it in this world.
But that was not the end of the story. There was this girl, and her name was Ebony. To me, she was always something a little bit more than just a friend. I relised about October, however, that the reverse was not true at all. I tried to move on and see her as just a friend, but I failed. It tore me up inside. I decided that I had to get away from her, but I didn't know how to tell her. (This is the part where I really started to fuck up). As it turned out, the week I came to this conclusion, just happened to coincide with the weekend of her birthday. To not seem like a complete and utter ass (and I seem to have utterly failed at this now), I used the above decision about wanting to get away from it all as an excuse to try and get out of it. I ended up going anyways, because it would have been entirely cruel not to, and there after put both plans into action, leaving both AIM and live journal.
I realised that I was actually happier without thinking about her all day, and I reserfaced hoping to explain all this to her. I, however, failed, and she thought that me letting her go was a part of this other plan I had, and that I was abondoning all you guys, which was never my intention. Yesterday she wrote a particularly scathing poem about me. I signed on last night hoping to try and explain what I have just explained, but she would not acknowledge the poem was about me. I signed off, and wrote the live journal post that had everyone up in arms. The statement "Stop living in the past and move towards the future. Period." was about her and only her, it had nothing to do with the rest of you.
And for your information my dear, I did cry, I cried because you were my best friend and letting you go was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to face. But now sadness has been replaced with anger and bitterness, and I am genuinly sorry that it had to end this way.
For the rest of you, I do not expect you to forgive me. I am sorry you all got caught up in all this. Your friendship does mean something to me, I just have a fucked up way of showing it. Merry christmas y'all, and I hope I will see you later on.
Once upon a time, there was a boy. This boy was a sophomore in high school, and only really had two friends (one of which was a kid he met Mr. Carter's Chem/Physics class). This boy was lonely, and somewhat misserable with his life. The next year he joined a club called Mountain Pointe Theatre Company. All of a sudden his friend total sky rocketed, and for the first time in his life the boy was trully happy. He graduated two years later with nothing but fond memories, and went off in to the big world of jobs and college.
About six months later (i.e. November of 2004), he looked at his life and realized that in actuality not a lot had changed. His best friends were still all in high school, and his life was going no where. (I'm going to randomly switch to first person now). I decided that I should take a break from all of that to clear my head, and get myself on course. It was a break, nothing more, and nothing less. At no time did I have any intention of saying "Goodbye, I don't want to be your friend anymore." So, I resolved myself to disapear for a while, and re-apear a few weeks later, having taken some steps towards making it in this world.
But that was not the end of the story. There was this girl, and her name was Ebony. To me, she was always something a little bit more than just a friend. I relised about October, however, that the reverse was not true at all. I tried to move on and see her as just a friend, but I failed. It tore me up inside. I decided that I had to get away from her, but I didn't know how to tell her. (This is the part where I really started to fuck up). As it turned out, the week I came to this conclusion, just happened to coincide with the weekend of her birthday. To not seem like a complete and utter ass (and I seem to have utterly failed at this now), I used the above decision about wanting to get away from it all as an excuse to try and get out of it. I ended up going anyways, because it would have been entirely cruel not to, and there after put both plans into action, leaving both AIM and live journal.
I realised that I was actually happier without thinking about her all day, and I reserfaced hoping to explain all this to her. I, however, failed, and she thought that me letting her go was a part of this other plan I had, and that I was abondoning all you guys, which was never my intention. Yesterday she wrote a particularly scathing poem about me. I signed on last night hoping to try and explain what I have just explained, but she would not acknowledge the poem was about me. I signed off, and wrote the live journal post that had everyone up in arms. The statement "Stop living in the past and move towards the future. Period." was about her and only her, it had nothing to do with the rest of you.
And for your information my dear, I did cry, I cried because you were my best friend and letting you go was one of the hardest decisions I have ever had to face. But now sadness has been replaced with anger and bitterness, and I am genuinly sorry that it had to end this way.
For the rest of you, I do not expect you to forgive me. I am sorry you all got caught up in all this. Your friendship does mean something to me, I just have a fucked up way of showing it. Merry christmas y'all, and I hope I will see you later on.