An Open Letter To My Girl M - God's Plan
Sis,
This is all going to sound weird coming from me, but I'm going in anyway.
I know it's hard to imagine a lot of anything related to God coming out of my mouth. You see me just about every day and you KNOW how I am. You know me better than a lot of people I've known for years in poetry and half the branches off the family tree, so I can understand how what I'm about to say might seem a little...un-Scottishlike.
I've long held that man doesn't really understand how to navigate whatever God is correctly (helped in no small part by a few episodes of classic Star Trek in my formative years) so I figure I can't possibly do any more harm than anyone else thumping a bible. I'm not an atheist, and my belief in man's inability to comprehend the fullness of what God is naturally extends to how God operates. We simply aren't smart enough to get the deal in my opinion, and religions, all of them, are merely attempts to process what little we have been able to decipher. A fair agnostic will give you that much.
But all of that is merely preamble to prove I'm not a stone-cold heathen. Here is what I felt necessary to say now:
If I've learned anything from poetry it's that committing to what you love and do well IS the blessing, or in some cases is the way to some other level of blessings. The things we love save our lives every day, make getting up and working that stinky job bearable. That includes your husband and your DVDs and your writing and your board games.
Here is something you don't need God to process:
I came to a realization a while back: that if you can have what it is you're spending your days working toward - what you're aiming your whole life at - then just take the short-cut to the life you want and live it now. Let's say you get these jobs and these paychecks you want. What is it you'll ultimately do with it? Sit by a pool, stroking a cat and reading a stack of books in the sun? Okay, cool. But what's stopping you from doing that right now? Nothing! So go do it. The good life is a fine goal, but it's not always as far away as we think it is. Sometimes it's just one day off from being a reality, or a good three-day weekend doing exactly what good life we can afford now. I don't wait to get rich to live that life. I live it when I get damn well ready and the resources line up. Forget retirement! I ain't got time for that. Give me my life right now, thank you.
Sis, don't forget what you got. I know you were raised to appreciate what you have. During challenging times like these it's even more important to do that. Take it from someone who's lost a lot of time and love and people and energy and things to find out even the simplest lesson: your good life starts when you make it start, not when the blessings come rolling in. Sometimes, you are the blessing. Sometimes the blessing is each other. Sometimes the blessing is something sitting in your closet right now that will bring you joy for a few hours. You are fortunate in natural ways, too: you're smarter than half the people walking around. You got this.
You are blessed right now regardless of what happens. Let the things in your life that you love and that love you help you through these times. That other stuff can't in any way be addressed by your current distress. You are having exactly ZERO effect on whether or not L gets hired. Call it living the good life or call it distractions...I call it a blessing to be able to choose when I'm going to be happy.
You guys are too smart and good to be in this position forever. You'll see.
As always,
Scott
This is all going to sound weird coming from me, but I'm going in anyway.
I know it's hard to imagine a lot of anything related to God coming out of my mouth. You see me just about every day and you KNOW how I am. You know me better than a lot of people I've known for years in poetry and half the branches off the family tree, so I can understand how what I'm about to say might seem a little...un-Scottishlike.
I've long held that man doesn't really understand how to navigate whatever God is correctly (helped in no small part by a few episodes of classic Star Trek in my formative years) so I figure I can't possibly do any more harm than anyone else thumping a bible. I'm not an atheist, and my belief in man's inability to comprehend the fullness of what God is naturally extends to how God operates. We simply aren't smart enough to get the deal in my opinion, and religions, all of them, are merely attempts to process what little we have been able to decipher. A fair agnostic will give you that much.
But all of that is merely preamble to prove I'm not a stone-cold heathen. Here is what I felt necessary to say now:
If I've learned anything from poetry it's that committing to what you love and do well IS the blessing, or in some cases is the way to some other level of blessings. The things we love save our lives every day, make getting up and working that stinky job bearable. That includes your husband and your DVDs and your writing and your board games.
Here is something you don't need God to process:
I came to a realization a while back: that if you can have what it is you're spending your days working toward - what you're aiming your whole life at - then just take the short-cut to the life you want and live it now. Let's say you get these jobs and these paychecks you want. What is it you'll ultimately do with it? Sit by a pool, stroking a cat and reading a stack of books in the sun? Okay, cool. But what's stopping you from doing that right now? Nothing! So go do it. The good life is a fine goal, but it's not always as far away as we think it is. Sometimes it's just one day off from being a reality, or a good three-day weekend doing exactly what good life we can afford now. I don't wait to get rich to live that life. I live it when I get damn well ready and the resources line up. Forget retirement! I ain't got time for that. Give me my life right now, thank you.
Sis, don't forget what you got. I know you were raised to appreciate what you have. During challenging times like these it's even more important to do that. Take it from someone who's lost a lot of time and love and people and energy and things to find out even the simplest lesson: your good life starts when you make it start, not when the blessings come rolling in. Sometimes, you are the blessing. Sometimes the blessing is each other. Sometimes the blessing is something sitting in your closet right now that will bring you joy for a few hours. You are fortunate in natural ways, too: you're smarter than half the people walking around. You got this.
You are blessed right now regardless of what happens. Let the things in your life that you love and that love you help you through these times. That other stuff can't in any way be addressed by your current distress. You are having exactly ZERO effect on whether or not L gets hired. Call it living the good life or call it distractions...I call it a blessing to be able to choose when I'm going to be happy.
You guys are too smart and good to be in this position forever. You'll see.
As always,
Scott