How To Get Rich Off Of 99-Cent Poems (If You're The Bomb, Of Course)
Quick note before I get going into this: I'm going to stop calling it downloads because people hear that and think they can have my poem over the internet in a few clicks. Not true. Download just sounded cool. 99 cent poems is wholly sufficient until the illustrious Jack Funk can think of some other thing to call the dynamic/pitch/gimmick/sale.
Here's what I did, why, some cost analysis, and how it could be tweaked for better/other future use. Please feel free to pass the word and use it for your own gigs, and tweak it as you see fit. I'd not heard of anyone doing this before, but I live in Columbus, Ohio. Go forth and impose that sorely needed value onto your art that people refuse to give it by taking it from their cold, clammy hands by the penny.
WHAT I DID AND WHY
-------------------
I had this feature - a rare local feature - last night. I had a lot of newer material that I wanted to perform (see previous entries) and I wasn't going to have time to get any product made up of the material I wanted to present. April has been a poet's dream/organizer's nightmare, what with 2 major shows to oversee each week, various in and out of town gigs sprinkled throughout, and a full-time day job to cater to. So I needed to do something to sort of pad out the rewards of the feature since I wasn't getting paid to do it. My feature, but also my show. Sort of a homecoming type of thing.
So I had this idea I'd been sitting on for at least a couple of years (I even suggested it to another local cat who didn't do it, so his loss) that I figured was good enough now to give a whirl.
I sat down and compiled all - ALL - of the poems that I was likely to do in this feature. This is what is known as a "sideboard". [1] Because I was doing an extended set [2] and I wanted to do have some wiggle room in case the new stuff wasn't hitting, I padded it out pretty heavy: 18 poems.
I then made 10 copies of each poem and stapled them; 180 copies of poems total.
I then let people buy any or all copies of poems they heard during the set at 99 cents apiece.
COST ANALYSIS
--------------
Please. The cool thing about this is that it's practically cost-free, or minimal at best.
Even at the ridiculous price of, say, 10 cents a copy (just to pick a high number out of the air), a 2-page poem costs you 20 cents to make. Someone buys it for a dollar. You've got a profit of 80 cents. Extend this to a few copies of each of your poems and you're basically printing money. I even sold copies of poems I DIDN'T PERFORM; people had heard a few of them before and wanted a copy for themselves or someone else and there it was, ready to go.
Some geeky math stuff:
At Kinko's - which is actually less than 10 cents a copy (and the copier at your job is infinitely cheaper, nudge nudge wink wink) - 180 pieces of copied paper will cost you about 17 bucks. If you can get your poem down to 1 page, that's 180 copies of your poem. If you have 10 1-page poems, that's 10 copies of 18 different poems. Sell 17 poems or copies of poems (that cost you less than $1.70 to produce) and you've just broken even.
I think it goes without saying that most poets who tour or feature don't have 18 poem sideboards, or at least put their features pretty much in stone before they go to a gig, so they don't even have to do THIS much work to make it profitable.
If you do a set feature of 6 poems (average) then you only have to come up with copies of these 6 poems. 10 copies of your setlist is going to cost you, at most, 6 bucks. You sell 6 pieces of paper and you're gold.
Now, people who are into selling CDs and books might hold their noses up a bit at this, suggesting that by the time someone buys 5 or 6 poems (or copies) they could have spent that on a chapbook, and they'd be provisionally correct.
But the poet who doesn't have a chapbook or is about to present a set of stuff that isn't covered by the material in their existing product now has a GREAT middle ground. Don't have the $30 to get 12 copies of your chapbook printed up? Half the stuff you plan to read isn't in your last book? Didn't have time to get CDs burned? Take your poems to the nearest copy machine and crank out about 3-5 copies per poem you plan to read. If you tell people ahead of time that they can buy any poem they hear that night for a buck, and you in turn bring the house down, you're basically printing money.
HOW I COULD HAVE TWEAKED IT WITH WHAT I KNOW NOW
-------------------------------------------------
- Fewer copies of the overall poems.
I certainly made my overhead back, but I could have profited more by not over-compensating.
- Smaller sideboard.
Not an option I felt comfortable with for this particular gig because I wanted MAD range and depth at my fingertips, but one I would have no problem instituting for other gigs of newer/less frequent audiences. Usually a sideboard of 10 poems (a mix of newer and older stuff) is completely adequate. You could make a killing by having a teacher buy a master packet of your poems for a school gig for some flat rate,a nd then they'd get to use it at will in their classes. Think of it as a licensing fee.
- Let people know before you start that the copies are available.
Despite my journal ramblings, I'm notoriously shy and nervous in person and not good at self-promotion that doesn't involve the Internet. I'm from that old school of letting work speak for itself, which is wholly legit for art's sake, but not the fastest track to making a lucrative financial go of your art. You got to be a bit Salvador Dali about it, so I'm still working on that.
If you tell the audience ahead of time, they'll be listening for the ones they want copies of instead of trying to remember after the fact which one or two they liked best and can recall across the board (probably your last poem).
- Get the poems down to 1 page if you can.
Because of the time crunch going into this gig, and the time at which the idea re-inserted itself into play in my mind, I didn't have time to go back and shrink my poems down from their performance font size (14) and otherwise get some of those 2-3 pagers down to 1-2 pages. I basically copied my performance-ready poems (some with edits and crossed out lines, which sort of personalizes it, looking back), which are mostly 2 pagers. The more poems you get down to 1 page, the less money you have to spend making copies, and the more money you stand to make per poem.
Got all that?
Go forth and get paid, my poetic neophytes!
People generally don't think of a dollar as a big deal, and if you can give them what they just got a piece of live to take home with them without having to get on a computer or download something or go to a website or keeping your business card or anything else that isn't walking out the door with a poem in their hand, then you both win.
Going to play a well-earned game of Grand Theft Auto 3 now.
That was my last gig for April, so my life gets very normal very quick starting...now.
Scott "P. Diddy of Poetry" Woods
NOTES
=======
[1] The stuff you're likely to read/perform at that given moment/show in time. Depending on what you're doing or the audience you're in front of, the number of poems in your sideboard could be very large or very small. For a slam, my sideboard tends to be anywhere from 5-10 poems of varying stripes, while a 20 minute feature (average length of most features) tends to have about 6 poems, with 3-4 reserves.
[1a] I also typically run a very loose set list. I like to be able to gauge how people are responding and fashion the set around the room a little if I can. Again, last night was special and I couldn't do that, so I just went for broke on the range, which means I had to go for broke on the copies. Still a pittance, considering.
[2] I thought it would be between 20-30 minutes. It went to a nice fat and full 40 without losing steam or interest. I've done that in the past and could have gone longer in fact, but it wasn't just my night and what's the point? If you can't prove the worth of your voice and art in 40 minutes, what are you doing on the microphone, running for president?
Here's what I did, why, some cost analysis, and how it could be tweaked for better/other future use. Please feel free to pass the word and use it for your own gigs, and tweak it as you see fit. I'd not heard of anyone doing this before, but I live in Columbus, Ohio. Go forth and impose that sorely needed value onto your art that people refuse to give it by taking it from their cold, clammy hands by the penny.
WHAT I DID AND WHY
-------------------
I had this feature - a rare local feature - last night. I had a lot of newer material that I wanted to perform (see previous entries) and I wasn't going to have time to get any product made up of the material I wanted to present. April has been a poet's dream/organizer's nightmare, what with 2 major shows to oversee each week, various in and out of town gigs sprinkled throughout, and a full-time day job to cater to. So I needed to do something to sort of pad out the rewards of the feature since I wasn't getting paid to do it. My feature, but also my show. Sort of a homecoming type of thing.
So I had this idea I'd been sitting on for at least a couple of years (I even suggested it to another local cat who didn't do it, so his loss) that I figured was good enough now to give a whirl.
I sat down and compiled all - ALL - of the poems that I was likely to do in this feature. This is what is known as a "sideboard". [1] Because I was doing an extended set [2] and I wanted to do have some wiggle room in case the new stuff wasn't hitting, I padded it out pretty heavy: 18 poems.
I then made 10 copies of each poem and stapled them; 180 copies of poems total.
I then let people buy any or all copies of poems they heard during the set at 99 cents apiece.
COST ANALYSIS
--------------
Please. The cool thing about this is that it's practically cost-free, or minimal at best.
Even at the ridiculous price of, say, 10 cents a copy (just to pick a high number out of the air), a 2-page poem costs you 20 cents to make. Someone buys it for a dollar. You've got a profit of 80 cents. Extend this to a few copies of each of your poems and you're basically printing money. I even sold copies of poems I DIDN'T PERFORM; people had heard a few of them before and wanted a copy for themselves or someone else and there it was, ready to go.
Some geeky math stuff:
At Kinko's - which is actually less than 10 cents a copy (and the copier at your job is infinitely cheaper, nudge nudge wink wink) - 180 pieces of copied paper will cost you about 17 bucks. If you can get your poem down to 1 page, that's 180 copies of your poem. If you have 10 1-page poems, that's 10 copies of 18 different poems. Sell 17 poems or copies of poems (that cost you less than $1.70 to produce) and you've just broken even.
I think it goes without saying that most poets who tour or feature don't have 18 poem sideboards, or at least put their features pretty much in stone before they go to a gig, so they don't even have to do THIS much work to make it profitable.
If you do a set feature of 6 poems (average) then you only have to come up with copies of these 6 poems. 10 copies of your setlist is going to cost you, at most, 6 bucks. You sell 6 pieces of paper and you're gold.
Now, people who are into selling CDs and books might hold their noses up a bit at this, suggesting that by the time someone buys 5 or 6 poems (or copies) they could have spent that on a chapbook, and they'd be provisionally correct.
But the poet who doesn't have a chapbook or is about to present a set of stuff that isn't covered by the material in their existing product now has a GREAT middle ground. Don't have the $30 to get 12 copies of your chapbook printed up? Half the stuff you plan to read isn't in your last book? Didn't have time to get CDs burned? Take your poems to the nearest copy machine and crank out about 3-5 copies per poem you plan to read. If you tell people ahead of time that they can buy any poem they hear that night for a buck, and you in turn bring the house down, you're basically printing money.
HOW I COULD HAVE TWEAKED IT WITH WHAT I KNOW NOW
-------------------------------------------------
- Fewer copies of the overall poems.
I certainly made my overhead back, but I could have profited more by not over-compensating.
- Smaller sideboard.
Not an option I felt comfortable with for this particular gig because I wanted MAD range and depth at my fingertips, but one I would have no problem instituting for other gigs of newer/less frequent audiences. Usually a sideboard of 10 poems (a mix of newer and older stuff) is completely adequate. You could make a killing by having a teacher buy a master packet of your poems for a school gig for some flat rate,a nd then they'd get to use it at will in their classes. Think of it as a licensing fee.
- Let people know before you start that the copies are available.
Despite my journal ramblings, I'm notoriously shy and nervous in person and not good at self-promotion that doesn't involve the Internet. I'm from that old school of letting work speak for itself, which is wholly legit for art's sake, but not the fastest track to making a lucrative financial go of your art. You got to be a bit Salvador Dali about it, so I'm still working on that.
If you tell the audience ahead of time, they'll be listening for the ones they want copies of instead of trying to remember after the fact which one or two they liked best and can recall across the board (probably your last poem).
- Get the poems down to 1 page if you can.
Because of the time crunch going into this gig, and the time at which the idea re-inserted itself into play in my mind, I didn't have time to go back and shrink my poems down from their performance font size (14) and otherwise get some of those 2-3 pagers down to 1-2 pages. I basically copied my performance-ready poems (some with edits and crossed out lines, which sort of personalizes it, looking back), which are mostly 2 pagers. The more poems you get down to 1 page, the less money you have to spend making copies, and the more money you stand to make per poem.
Got all that?
Go forth and get paid, my poetic neophytes!
People generally don't think of a dollar as a big deal, and if you can give them what they just got a piece of live to take home with them without having to get on a computer or download something or go to a website or keeping your business card or anything else that isn't walking out the door with a poem in their hand, then you both win.
Going to play a well-earned game of Grand Theft Auto 3 now.
That was my last gig for April, so my life gets very normal very quick starting...now.
Scott "P. Diddy of Poetry" Woods
NOTES
=======
[1] The stuff you're likely to read/perform at that given moment/show in time. Depending on what you're doing or the audience you're in front of, the number of poems in your sideboard could be very large or very small. For a slam, my sideboard tends to be anywhere from 5-10 poems of varying stripes, while a 20 minute feature (average length of most features) tends to have about 6 poems, with 3-4 reserves.
[1a] I also typically run a very loose set list. I like to be able to gauge how people are responding and fashion the set around the room a little if I can. Again, last night was special and I couldn't do that, so I just went for broke on the range, which means I had to go for broke on the copies. Still a pittance, considering.
[2] I thought it would be between 20-30 minutes. It went to a nice fat and full 40 without losing steam or interest. I've done that in the past and could have gone longer in fact, but it wasn't just my night and what's the point? If you can't prove the worth of your voice and art in 40 minutes, what are you doing on the microphone, running for president?