MOVIE REVIEWS!!!!
TIME FOR SOME MOVIE REVIEWS!!!! YAYYYYYYY!!!! On Advent Children, Last of the Mohicans, Elizebeth, and The Curse of the WereRabbit
Follow the cut!
ADVENT CHILDREN: *SPOILERS*
Okay... initial response: Oh my fucking god! (heh what an odd expression) I bought a bootleg copy off e-bay so the quality was alittle low, and the sound fuzzed slighlty in the beginning... only complaints.
First off, in order to enjoy this movie you must have played the video game. The plot for this was totally off balance anyways, and prety unclear. The only reason I really enjoyed it was because of the animation and seeing all my favorite characters in such high quality *dies in front of Vincent*. For any artist who is designing there own comic or anything, it is truely inspiring.
Cloud is a woman, same with 2 of the "Kadaji (?) Gang" who are the bad guys. I think I have the plot now, but I am not sure. I think that some other soilders who are also products of experiments, and have the Star Disease, start trying to finish Sephirothes work. So all the kids and people who have the disease, have a part of Jenova in them. The earth puts the disease in all people to ward off the Jenova Virus. So this Kadaji gang, wants to find all the Jenovas Cells (including her head, which Rufus and the Turks have) and combine them, so bring back all of her cells, which includes Sephiroth.
And Cloud want to stop them... obviously... even though this is kinda hard to figure out. The whole plot is totally insane, and really hard to pick up whats happening. The only reason to watch the movie, like I said before, is for the graphics. But anyways the local town whore Tifa is looking after the kids, and one has the disease, and Mareyle dosent, and every one keeps calling Cloud who is still a Bad-Ass-Loner, and feels all guiltly and whiny about Arieth. So while Cloud is going back to Midgar, because Tifa got a call from the Turks, this Kadaji gang attacks... and it is just a big fat bishi fest. They seriously all look excsactly like women. The all are about to kill Cloud and then run away randomly... wtf.
So Cloud goes to see Rufus, who is wearing so sort of hoor/jacket thing, to cover his, notdissfiguredatall face. More comic relief from the Turks, the girly one who says "yo" after everything... WTF!!!??? And the bad ass black guy who carries around spare sets of sunglasses.
Anyhow, I think they want Cloud to help them out, he is still a badass and dosent. Then the gang shows up again and beats the crap out of the turks and talk to Rufus, who has some flash back of Sephiroth. Thats a high point to this movie, the flahs backs, they were really well done, but the animators knew it so the added in like 40.
Then Tifa is leading around the little girl in the church w/ the flowers and the only member of the gang who dosent look like a woman and can teleport with some nifty armband kicks her ass. But in this fight scene was one of the best part of the movie. The guy falls down and you think its over, and then you hear the theme song for the start of a Random Battle. So your like, WTF? And then you hear it again... and then again, and then the guy gets up and sighs, and pulls out his cell phone. It made me laugh.
So the guy takes the little girl away, and the other one loads up all the idiot kids onto a truck and takes them into the sacred temple... where like idiots again they doo everything he says and get Sephiroth Eyes! (TM SquareEnix) The its cloud to the rescue! And suddenly all the little kids are little spidermen children! Jumping all over the place, and Cloud starts fighting the whole gang, and of course is dying because hes alittle pain in the ass, (but I really want his shirt) and then... OMG I lost it... this big red cape comes out of the Sky, I start screaming at the TV. All the gang members fall down totally PWNED! And Cloud and the little girl dissapear with in 10 seconds... and then they all just look around like "WTF WAS THAT!" But you know who is was... VINCENT! The best FF character EVA, and the star of the new game!!! (YES!!! :DANCES LIKE A LOONY:) Vincent, who is not an Idiot like Cloud, knows exscatly what is going on and gives Cloud the low-down, along with pulling off the most pimp move EVA with his cape, which I dont want to ruin for everyone because its just too pimp to be put into words.
Then the best scene in the whole movie comes where all the old crew shows up to fight that thing whats it callleddd... Bahamen... i think.... the thing with the beak and teeth. It starts out with the gang trying to tear down some momument because they think Jenovas head is in it, and then summoning Bahamen because he need to rip it open. So Tifa of course gets PWNED because shes a whore, and then the little kid is saved by Barret, who is saved by Red XIII who has fucking Cait Sith doing absolutly nothing but hangin onto his back... I hate Cait Sith. Then.. god forbid... Yuffi shows up, with her ungodly retarded boots. Then Sid saves Tifas slutty arse, and Sid kicks ass, and has cool goggles, and weears a teeshirt, haha. Then VINCENT! Shows up again!!! Weeee! Then they all fight the thing, and do a really gay, "Throw cloud up into the air" thing, which works.
The Rufus, who is apparently totally fine, reveles that he has Jenovas head in a box which he has had in his lap the ENTIRE MOVIE!!! WTF!!! I was like, "Are you kiddding!" This Kadaji guy, who is obsessed with Jenova and can sence anyone with the Jenova Virus, cant fucking sence JENOVA HERSELF in a guys lap, 2 inches from him. So anywayd, Rufus throws it off the roof, and the kid obviously jumps after it, screaming "MOTHHHHERRRRRR OMG!!!!!" And Rufus tries to shoot it open. The comic relief twins see him falling, and catch him in a totally random net. The guy gets the box and takes off on a motercycle, which leads to a big motercycle chase! Weeee!!! Finally it is just Cloud and the gang leader, and they duke it out, and the Cloud knocks him off a building, but the guy absobes Jenova and turns into... SEPHIROTH.... okay this part sounds totally gay and toally random, but I was loosing it because I love Sephiroth, hes too cool. One winged Angel started playing, and I lost it. So Cloud is basically PWNED and then some how he ends up hitting Sephiroth, who wraps himself up in his one black wing, and turns back into the gang leader who dies. Then the other two shoot Cloud, which acctually really freaked me out, and then die.
The end of this movie was so random... I had no idea what the hell was going on. Cloud wakes up in the water surrounded by little kids, and they all seriosuly start having a pool party... seriously.... it was sooooo random. Except of course for Vincent who is too cool and just stands there like 'Yeah... w/e' Then there is a final shot of Arieth who Cloud sees leaving the pool party... and then its over, and all the kids arent sick anymore... so haha like I said the plot is totally random, so only watch it for the animation and the characters.
OKay long review over, short ones coming:
Last of the Mohicans:
I had no idea what the hell was going on this entire movie... seriously... there was no plot... I mean seriously... I didnt even know who the Anatagonist was and what the goal of the protagonist was. This combined with Daniel Day-Lewis playing a swauve buff Native Americain, and the most akward screenplay and direction I have seen, cause me to scremaing "WTF!" at the screen about 589 times in the course of the 2hours and 2minutes the movie ran for.
I just couldnt get the images of Daniel Day-Lewis' former characters out of my head, and so I was screaming with laughter. When ever he was running through the woods with billowing hair that even Mel gibson couldnt top, all I could see was Cecil from Room with a View saying "So you do love me little thing." And spilling tea on him self while trying to swat a fly. Either that, or I would be cringing, during any one of the terribley akward romance scene, because all I could think of was "The Butcher" and his handlebar moustache from Gangs of New York.
Also the only charcter I liked in the movie died. And a really disturbing guy acctaully ripped someones heart out and started to eat it.
In anycase... I would highly recommend you never see this movie, unless you want to laugh hysterically at Daniel Day's performance. But dont get me wrong, he is a great actor.
Elizebeth:
One of my top 5 favorite movies EVA! So good! Everything about it! Script: Flawless. Historically, character relations, timing, action... everything. Direction: Incedible. Moods perfectly set for each scene and arrangement/timing of shots, as well as tranistions elevates all the perfect feelings for the scene. Cinematograhpy: Perfect. The angles are soooo well done, and also mirror the mood set by the direction. Also, which is rare in films, if you watch the Camera angles you can predict quite a bit. For instance, if anything is blocking the view of a person from the camera, then it has some meaning. ie; red cloth, knives...etc. Acting: OH my god! Some of my top favorite actors are in this! And the characters they play are even better! Geoffery Rush kicks ass!!! As the coolest body gaurd/assasin/detective EVA!!! (my god I am saying that alot this entry) And Daniel Craig (who I love and just found out he is going to be the new 007, w000t) plays.... ready for this..... an ASSASIN PRIEST!!!! Which is always fun, because they are always, complete insane, yet strangley appealing, *cough* ANDERSON *cough* (he even looks like him!) Kate Blanchet, incedible job as always, and looks just like Elizebeth. Design: unbelivable. I seriously cant concive how they made Kate look so much like that portrait of Elizebeth in the corrination scene! And the costumes where awesome.
Not only is this movie, intense, phycologically thrilling, and histoically intereresting, but is halarious... well it is if you like French crossdressers who are insane, locking whinning bishops in basements, and perfect expressions at perfect moments, as well as back talking to annoying catholics such as, " Your Majesty! By asking us to pass this act, you are forcing us to destory our obediance to our lord god!" "Sir, how can I force you... I am a woman." And then Geoffrey pulling a "Damn straight!" Nod.
Anyways... watch it... incedible movie, and if you are reading this... it means you have something in common with me and will therefor like it... I hope.
Curse of the WereRabbit:
Funny. Thats what I'll say for it. Funny. But not nearly as funny as the opening animiation which had we crying with laughter. So at least go see it got that.
Gromit still kicks ass, and Wallace is still rather stupid, and all claymation characters are still so ugly is makes your eyes hurt, so no dissapointments there.
I think I'll wrap this up with a totally random list of my favorite actors (AKA I would go see a movie because they are in it)!!! In no order of fav. to least Fav. or anything.
Clive Owen: Sin City, King Arthur, Bourne Identity, Closer, GosfordPark
Daniel Craig: Elizebeth, the Jacket, Sylvia
Hardd to find an IMG, because he HATES the media
Adrian Broody: The Painist, The Village, The Jacket, (soon) King Kong
yeah yeah we all know who he is
Hugh Jackman: X-Men: 1&2, Kate the Leopold, Van Helsing, coming in 2007: Wolverine, Oklahoma (LOL!!!!)
LOL!!!
Rufus Sewell: Knights Tale, Hamlet, (soon) Zorro
There are so many nice pictures of him!!!
Justin Therox: Charlies Angels II, Mulholland Drive, I Shot Andy Warhol
Yes smoking is nasty... but he makes his own cigerettes so not to support the corroporations
David Wenham: LotR: The Two Towers/ Return of the King, Van Helsing, Moulin Rouge
"Shit..."
Jason Issacs: Harry Potter, Peter Pan, The Patriot, Black Hawk Down
WTF
Others who I also like: Ralph Finnes, Liam Nelson, Elijah Woods, Paul Bettany, Alan Tudyk, Jeff Goldbloom, Jeremy Irons, Ewan MacGregor, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monighan, Sean Bean, Jim Carrey, Daniel Day-Louis
(Sorry if I cant spell)
In other news: DDR is so addicting!!!!!!!!! I cant stop, but its good because I am getting a really good work out!!! YAY! The story board for my comic is coming along nicley, and so are my character ref. sheets, which means I will be able to draw full pictures soon, and then make my website! Yay! I also want to buy Painter IX... which I can afford as of now, but want to wait alittle while and get some oppinons, have any?
Random note: I love Basil from The Great Mouse Detective!!!!
*cough* Okay... so what else is newwww.... hmmmmmm.....oh yeah, I bought Faulty Towers which is still halrious, annnd Majora Mask was giving me seriousl nostalgia today, but I still love that game, and am really pissed that the new game is coming out for the revolution. I want to go to the video game music concert by the NYC Orchestra, but probabley wont... DX. Poloroids are fun so I bought two. The MGS 4 trailer cracked me up. I need to buy Star Trek Season 2&3. I am going to NYC to get my hair cut and highlighted with 17 shades of red/scarlet (not orange, RED).
I think thats everything!
PS: I am so tired to spell
Follow the cut!
ADVENT CHILDREN: *SPOILERS*
Okay... initial response: Oh my fucking god! (heh what an odd expression) I bought a bootleg copy off e-bay so the quality was alittle low, and the sound fuzzed slighlty in the beginning... only complaints.
First off, in order to enjoy this movie you must have played the video game. The plot for this was totally off balance anyways, and prety unclear. The only reason I really enjoyed it was because of the animation and seeing all my favorite characters in such high quality *dies in front of Vincent*. For any artist who is designing there own comic or anything, it is truely inspiring.
Cloud is a woman, same with 2 of the "Kadaji (?) Gang" who are the bad guys. I think I have the plot now, but I am not sure. I think that some other soilders who are also products of experiments, and have the Star Disease, start trying to finish Sephirothes work. So all the kids and people who have the disease, have a part of Jenova in them. The earth puts the disease in all people to ward off the Jenova Virus. So this Kadaji gang, wants to find all the Jenovas Cells (including her head, which Rufus and the Turks have) and combine them, so bring back all of her cells, which includes Sephiroth.
And Cloud want to stop them... obviously... even though this is kinda hard to figure out. The whole plot is totally insane, and really hard to pick up whats happening. The only reason to watch the movie, like I said before, is for the graphics. But anyways the local town whore Tifa is looking after the kids, and one has the disease, and Mareyle dosent, and every one keeps calling Cloud who is still a Bad-Ass-Loner, and feels all guiltly and whiny about Arieth. So while Cloud is going back to Midgar, because Tifa got a call from the Turks, this Kadaji gang attacks... and it is just a big fat bishi fest. They seriously all look excsactly like women. The all are about to kill Cloud and then run away randomly... wtf.
So Cloud goes to see Rufus, who is wearing so sort of hoor/jacket thing, to cover his, notdissfiguredatall face. More comic relief from the Turks, the girly one who says "yo" after everything... WTF!!!??? And the bad ass black guy who carries around spare sets of sunglasses.
Anyhow, I think they want Cloud to help them out, he is still a badass and dosent. Then the gang shows up again and beats the crap out of the turks and talk to Rufus, who has some flash back of Sephiroth. Thats a high point to this movie, the flahs backs, they were really well done, but the animators knew it so the added in like 40.
Then Tifa is leading around the little girl in the church w/ the flowers and the only member of the gang who dosent look like a woman and can teleport with some nifty armband kicks her ass. But in this fight scene was one of the best part of the movie. The guy falls down and you think its over, and then you hear the theme song for the start of a Random Battle. So your like, WTF? And then you hear it again... and then again, and then the guy gets up and sighs, and pulls out his cell phone. It made me laugh.
So the guy takes the little girl away, and the other one loads up all the idiot kids onto a truck and takes them into the sacred temple... where like idiots again they doo everything he says and get Sephiroth Eyes! (TM SquareEnix) The its cloud to the rescue! And suddenly all the little kids are little spidermen children! Jumping all over the place, and Cloud starts fighting the whole gang, and of course is dying because hes alittle pain in the ass, (but I really want his shirt) and then... OMG I lost it... this big red cape comes out of the Sky, I start screaming at the TV. All the gang members fall down totally PWNED! And Cloud and the little girl dissapear with in 10 seconds... and then they all just look around like "WTF WAS THAT!" But you know who is was... VINCENT! The best FF character EVA, and the star of the new game!!! (YES!!! :DANCES LIKE A LOONY:) Vincent, who is not an Idiot like Cloud, knows exscatly what is going on and gives Cloud the low-down, along with pulling off the most pimp move EVA with his cape, which I dont want to ruin for everyone because its just too pimp to be put into words.
Then the best scene in the whole movie comes where all the old crew shows up to fight that thing whats it callleddd... Bahamen... i think.... the thing with the beak and teeth. It starts out with the gang trying to tear down some momument because they think Jenovas head is in it, and then summoning Bahamen because he need to rip it open. So Tifa of course gets PWNED because shes a whore, and then the little kid is saved by Barret, who is saved by Red XIII who has fucking Cait Sith doing absolutly nothing but hangin onto his back... I hate Cait Sith. Then.. god forbid... Yuffi shows up, with her ungodly retarded boots. Then Sid saves Tifas slutty arse, and Sid kicks ass, and has cool goggles, and weears a teeshirt, haha. Then VINCENT! Shows up again!!! Weeee! Then they all fight the thing, and do a really gay, "Throw cloud up into the air" thing, which works.
The Rufus, who is apparently totally fine, reveles that he has Jenovas head in a box which he has had in his lap the ENTIRE MOVIE!!! WTF!!! I was like, "Are you kiddding!" This Kadaji guy, who is obsessed with Jenova and can sence anyone with the Jenova Virus, cant fucking sence JENOVA HERSELF in a guys lap, 2 inches from him. So anywayd, Rufus throws it off the roof, and the kid obviously jumps after it, screaming "MOTHHHHERRRRRR OMG!!!!!" And Rufus tries to shoot it open. The comic relief twins see him falling, and catch him in a totally random net. The guy gets the box and takes off on a motercycle, which leads to a big motercycle chase! Weeee!!! Finally it is just Cloud and the gang leader, and they duke it out, and the Cloud knocks him off a building, but the guy absobes Jenova and turns into... SEPHIROTH.... okay this part sounds totally gay and toally random, but I was loosing it because I love Sephiroth, hes too cool. One winged Angel started playing, and I lost it. So Cloud is basically PWNED and then some how he ends up hitting Sephiroth, who wraps himself up in his one black wing, and turns back into the gang leader who dies. Then the other two shoot Cloud, which acctually really freaked me out, and then die.
The end of this movie was so random... I had no idea what the hell was going on. Cloud wakes up in the water surrounded by little kids, and they all seriosuly start having a pool party... seriously.... it was sooooo random. Except of course for Vincent who is too cool and just stands there like 'Yeah... w/e' Then there is a final shot of Arieth who Cloud sees leaving the pool party... and then its over, and all the kids arent sick anymore... so haha like I said the plot is totally random, so only watch it for the animation and the characters.
OKay long review over, short ones coming:
Last of the Mohicans:
I had no idea what the hell was going on this entire movie... seriously... there was no plot... I mean seriously... I didnt even know who the Anatagonist was and what the goal of the protagonist was. This combined with Daniel Day-Lewis playing a swauve buff Native Americain, and the most akward screenplay and direction I have seen, cause me to scremaing "WTF!" at the screen about 589 times in the course of the 2hours and 2minutes the movie ran for.
I just couldnt get the images of Daniel Day-Lewis' former characters out of my head, and so I was screaming with laughter. When ever he was running through the woods with billowing hair that even Mel gibson couldnt top, all I could see was Cecil from Room with a View saying "So you do love me little thing." And spilling tea on him self while trying to swat a fly. Either that, or I would be cringing, during any one of the terribley akward romance scene, because all I could think of was "The Butcher" and his handlebar moustache from Gangs of New York.
Also the only charcter I liked in the movie died. And a really disturbing guy acctaully ripped someones heart out and started to eat it.
In anycase... I would highly recommend you never see this movie, unless you want to laugh hysterically at Daniel Day's performance. But dont get me wrong, he is a great actor.
Elizebeth:
One of my top 5 favorite movies EVA! So good! Everything about it! Script: Flawless. Historically, character relations, timing, action... everything. Direction: Incedible. Moods perfectly set for each scene and arrangement/timing of shots, as well as tranistions elevates all the perfect feelings for the scene. Cinematograhpy: Perfect. The angles are soooo well done, and also mirror the mood set by the direction. Also, which is rare in films, if you watch the Camera angles you can predict quite a bit. For instance, if anything is blocking the view of a person from the camera, then it has some meaning. ie; red cloth, knives...etc. Acting: OH my god! Some of my top favorite actors are in this! And the characters they play are even better! Geoffery Rush kicks ass!!! As the coolest body gaurd/assasin/detective EVA!!! (my god I am saying that alot this entry) And Daniel Craig (who I love and just found out he is going to be the new 007, w000t) plays.... ready for this..... an ASSASIN PRIEST!!!! Which is always fun, because they are always, complete insane, yet strangley appealing, *cough* ANDERSON *cough* (he even looks like him!) Kate Blanchet, incedible job as always, and looks just like Elizebeth. Design: unbelivable. I seriously cant concive how they made Kate look so much like that portrait of Elizebeth in the corrination scene! And the costumes where awesome.
Not only is this movie, intense, phycologically thrilling, and histoically intereresting, but is halarious... well it is if you like French crossdressers who are insane, locking whinning bishops in basements, and perfect expressions at perfect moments, as well as back talking to annoying catholics such as, " Your Majesty! By asking us to pass this act, you are forcing us to destory our obediance to our lord god!" "Sir, how can I force you... I am a woman." And then Geoffrey pulling a "Damn straight!" Nod.
Anyways... watch it... incedible movie, and if you are reading this... it means you have something in common with me and will therefor like it... I hope.
Curse of the WereRabbit:
Funny. Thats what I'll say for it. Funny. But not nearly as funny as the opening animiation which had we crying with laughter. So at least go see it got that.
Gromit still kicks ass, and Wallace is still rather stupid, and all claymation characters are still so ugly is makes your eyes hurt, so no dissapointments there.
I think I'll wrap this up with a totally random list of my favorite actors (AKA I would go see a movie because they are in it)!!! In no order of fav. to least Fav. or anything.
Clive Owen: Sin City, King Arthur, Bourne Identity, Closer, GosfordPark
Daniel Craig: Elizebeth, the Jacket, Sylvia
Hardd to find an IMG, because he HATES the media
Adrian Broody: The Painist, The Village, The Jacket, (soon) King Kong
yeah yeah we all know who he is
Hugh Jackman: X-Men: 1&2, Kate the Leopold, Van Helsing, coming in 2007: Wolverine, Oklahoma (LOL!!!!)
LOL!!!
Rufus Sewell: Knights Tale, Hamlet, (soon) Zorro
There are so many nice pictures of him!!!
Justin Therox: Charlies Angels II, Mulholland Drive, I Shot Andy Warhol
Yes smoking is nasty... but he makes his own cigerettes so not to support the corroporations
David Wenham: LotR: The Two Towers/ Return of the King, Van Helsing, Moulin Rouge
"Shit..."
Jason Issacs: Harry Potter, Peter Pan, The Patriot, Black Hawk Down
WTF
Others who I also like: Ralph Finnes, Liam Nelson, Elijah Woods, Paul Bettany, Alan Tudyk, Jeff Goldbloom, Jeremy Irons, Ewan MacGregor, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monighan, Sean Bean, Jim Carrey, Daniel Day-Louis
(Sorry if I cant spell)
In other news: DDR is so addicting!!!!!!!!! I cant stop, but its good because I am getting a really good work out!!! YAY! The story board for my comic is coming along nicley, and so are my character ref. sheets, which means I will be able to draw full pictures soon, and then make my website! Yay! I also want to buy Painter IX... which I can afford as of now, but want to wait alittle while and get some oppinons, have any?
Random note: I love Basil from The Great Mouse Detective!!!!
*cough* Okay... so what else is newwww.... hmmmmmm.....oh yeah, I bought Faulty Towers which is still halrious, annnd Majora Mask was giving me seriousl nostalgia today, but I still love that game, and am really pissed that the new game is coming out for the revolution. I want to go to the video game music concert by the NYC Orchestra, but probabley wont... DX. Poloroids are fun so I bought two. The MGS 4 trailer cracked me up. I need to buy Star Trek Season 2&3. I am going to NYC to get my hair cut and highlighted with 17 shades of red/scarlet (not orange, RED).
I think thats everything!
PS: I am so tired to spell