friends
Sometimes people who are supposed to be my friends really piss me off. I'm about to tell you my biggest problem with people, if you have a conflict with someone some problem with something they do fucking say it to their face. Something else is also fucked up about people, how can you be really close to someone share everything be frieds for years and then totally push them out of your life? This has happened to me more than once, so I know it's happened to other people also. I know that nothing is wrong with me personally, or they wouldn't've been my friend for so long in the first place. I'll give you the biggest example of what I'm talking about. My friend Stacy and I met in massage school and we were close friends for four years. We hung out all the time, and she even held my hand during my abortion. I don't know how much closer you can get than that. I got engaged that February and she wasn't part of my wedding party. At first I thought that could be the reason that she suddenly stopped talking to me, but we were friends all the way through June of that year. She talked about how she was going to come to my wedding, how she could walk to it because I was getting married really close to her house. The last night I talked to her we were going to get together but she had a really bad headache, but we stayed on the phone for hours talking. She said she was going to help me get a jobat mecca, the spa where she worked. This was obviously before I took over this business. She was supposed to come over that following Tuesday to help me with my resume for massage, to take up to mecca when I applyed. She called that night and left a message on my answering machine that said she might be a little late, and to call her later. She never called back, and never showed up and I never saw her again. I guess I was kind of in denial that something was wrong with our friendship but I was quickly snapped out of that when mom told me Stacy sent back her response card for my wedding, and wrote that she would not be attending. She wrote it in red ink. My heart was broken I felt terrible. After four years what could I've done to offend her so badly? What could have happened to end our friendship that way? I replay our last moments talking together and there was truly no sign that was going to happen. She didn't show up to my wedding, I thought she might break down and come but she never did. I tried calling her a million times, leaving her messages "What is going on, have I done something to offend you? Can we not talk about this?" She never responded to any of them. The reason this is coming up today is because I have a feeling someone else is doing that very same thing to me, and I kind of know why this time. Lydia was going to sell me this sofa to put in my salon. I found out later she wanted six-hundred dollars for it. I don't care how nice it was, it was used and I don't have that kind of money. It put me in an awkward position because she is one of my clients and a friend and I didn't want to offend her. I asked my husband what I should do and he said say you're getting a couch for your birthday from your parents and that you just found out. That was pretty believable because my birthday is coming up and my mom did by me a lot of shit for the salon and she said to count it towards my birthday. I emailed Lydia and explained this to her, that was like Wednesday and I've not received and email or phone call from her since. I emailed her yesterday and she didn't respond to my email, which is totally unlike her, and today I called her and left a message and she hasn't called me back. I realize that it hasn't been that long, but you know how you just know and I have a sharp feeling down deep that she's mad at me. Why can't people come to you and just say, it hurt my feelings when you... it upstet me because you... I just don't understand how you can just stop being friends with someone. I think the even more disturbing thing is it means they really didn't value your friendship in the first place or they could've never cut ties with you in the first place.