(no subject)
It doesn't seem to matter how hard you try sometimes, just because you work for something doesn't necessarily mean your goin to get it. I've had this feeling down deep that I'm going to get that salon, and I feel so down in the dumps now that I've talked to Desiree. I don't even know what's going on, but if it comes to buyng right now or loosing it to someone else, I'm going to loose it. I just don't have the money to put down, and if we're being pressured to take it now, well that's not right either. I feel so defeated tonight, I know that it'll be all right either way, we will get a second location even if it's not that one, but I've done so many things and getting that salon has become so personal, I've put my whole heart and soul in to it. I wish she would quit saying that she really wants to sell it to us because that's like rubbing salt in my wounds. I haven't completely given up the fight, but I have so many fights to fight right now, so many things on my shoulders, so many things to worry about that are important right now... I just can't let myself obsess over that loss right now. I'm talking as if I've already lost it and I haven't, but I'm being realistic, and if someone is able to give her a better deal then she'll take it. Money means way more than who wants it more, as it should and I'll never be able to offer her anything close to anything anyone else could offer her right now. It just sucks that I've been working towards getting that salon for seven months and a total stranger could swoop in right now and take that oprotunity away, and I'd lost faith in it and let it go, and then my faith was renewed because she was still interested in selling it to me, and i guess if she is there is still a chance that I could get it. I am a good business person, I have a successful salon, and she would know her salon was going to good people, so maybe it'll still work out. I just need tomorrow to be a better day, and I don't know how it will with all I have to face when I go back to the salon. I'm down to one bed, and I have to wory about that man showing up, and if he can get it fixed if it's going to be simple how much it's going to cost. I have so many problems that need my attention now. I need good sleep tonight and I fear that's impossible with all on my mind and in my stomach, I ate burger King tonight and I don't even care I have so many things to wory about besides what I put in my mouth. Everything will work out, how many times have I said that out loud recently? I know it'll be all right, all of this is to make my place of business a better place and maybe I'll look back on this and be glad for all I went through later. I just have to hold on all of these things will be resolved one way or another, I know it will.