(no subject)
RIP Terri Schiavo.
You know, I feel bad for the lady's family. I know that when my mom was terminal, toward the end when I knew she WAS near the end, I thought a lot about this. I knew she was going to heaven, and that I would see her again one day. I knew that the life she had was not the life she would choose. I knew that she couldn't read, couldn't knit, couldn't interact with anyone anymore, couldn't walk and talk and....really LIVE. Couldn't enjoy anything, really, that this earth had to offer. And yet, I didn't want to lose her. I was happy that she was going to be rid of the discomfort she was in, and that she would be going to a better place. STILL....I didn't want her to go. (She wasn't in great pain, just discomfort....maybe I would have felt differently if she had been in great pain.) For me, I would have happily continued caring for her AS SHE WAS for as long as I could still have my mom here with me. No matter how hard it was for my dad and me, I'd have happily continued doing whatever it took to keep her with me. Because I loved her, and I didn't want to lose her. Not EVER. She was still THERE, my mom....she was still inside of her debilitated body. Her mind was clear, in her eyes I could still see her....and she still saw me. It was just her body that had failed. Not her person. Not her love...not EVER her love. Nor mine.
But we are talking about six weeks. It was actually almost two years after her initial cancer diagnosis that she died, but six weeks after her terminal diagnosis. And during that six weeks, I watched her die. But I never lost her, I just lost her actively physical participation in my life. To me, I still had enough of her to make me not want to lose what I still HAD of her.
And you know what? It was selfish of me to feel the way I did. I know it now, and I knew it then. It was selfish of me to want to keep her here with me the way she was. She didn't WANT to be here anymore, not the way she was. She wanted to be free of her discomfort, the inability to really live her life. She wanted to go home to God. She had the right.
When she died, I was devastated. If she had to go, I was happy that she went to a better place. But I wanted her HERE. I couldn't pretend that it made me happy that she left me, no matter WHERE I knew she was. Maybe that makes me a bad Christian, but I don't think so. I think it makes me a daughter who loved her mother and didn't feel good about losing her from my present life.
I hope that if mom had been stricken with some other form of debilitating illness, I would have had enough love to let her go. Mom died with dignity, and I did what I could to give her that. I hope that if she had been in a situation like Terri Schiavo's, I would have become unselfish enough, with time, to give her that.
I feel for her parents, but I do not believe that they got past where I was when I was unwilling to let my mom go. I believe that they were selfish, and too caught up with their own grief in having lost her to allow her to die with dignity. I understand that. I hope and pray that if I were in their exact same situation, I would have been able to move beyond what *I* wanted...and been able to let my loved one go. I don't honestly know if I could have, but I can only hope and pray that I COULD. Because she certainly did not die with dignity, and I think that was the fault of her parents/family.
With the exception of her husband, of course. I do not pretend to understand how a man could spend eleven years caring for his wife, tending to her needs every day and hoping and praying that someday, in some way, she could regain some of her life.....and not lose my mind. Caring for her physical needs, trying to stimulate her mind, turning her so she wouldn't get bed sores....I think about how humiliating it must all have been for her, and I can only imagine how I would feel. I wouldn't want to stay alive if I couldn't contribute to society, and I know that there are ways to contribute that don't necessarily require active participation, but I don't think (from the little I know for sure) that she felt that she was doing so. At least not after some time elapsed. Maybe not from the very beginning, I don't know. I also don't know how long it would have taken for me, with mom the way she was near the end, to come to the realization that the "life" she had was NO life. But I sincerely hope that I would have done as he did. Tried for as long as I could to "bring her back" and then when it was evident that it wasn't going to happen, made the decision to NOT prolong her "life" by artificial means when she no longer HAD a real "life" and was certainly not ever going to HAVE a "life" anymore. Eleven years is, I think, a lot longer than almost any of us would have lasted before giving up hope. And for four more long years, he had to fight to let her go.
I think he did the right thing.
But here is the thing that really bothers me about all of this.
I am a fundamentalist Christian (by my own definition, which may not be the same as yours. It is certainly not the same as many other "Fundamentalist Christians". It is most certainly not the same as my definition of "fundies.")
I believe that God gave us the medical science to prolong life. 50 years ago, there would have been no means of prolonging this lady's life. The medical science that is available nowadays is awesome, and wonderful. Witness the medical miracle of EmmaKate, evilbeth's daughter. I bless the fact that the medical knowledge and technology is available that was able to save EmmaKate's life. 50 years ago, she wouldn't have made it. It makes me ill to think of that, so I don't. I just bless the fact that it was available for Emmy, and for so many others. But I also believe that ultimately, our lives are in God's hands.
To the people who say that "the courts killed Terri Schiavo", most of whom seem to be the "Christian Right" I say this. If it was in God's plan for Terri Schiavo to live, she would still be alive. She would have started eating on her own once the feeding tube was removed, or she would never have needed a feeding tube in the first place because she wouldn't have lost the ability to EAT in the first place. I don't believe in euthanasia because I DO believe that life is in God's hands. I don't believe in withholding medical help because I do believe that medical science came from God. I believe that as a society, we SHOULD use the medical science that has been given to us (a miracle of it's own, actually)....But ultimately, I believe that life IS in God's hands. God's ways are not our ways, and I don't pretend to understand them.
But the thing is, (to the "Christian Right").....could you start being consistent, okay?
If you actually believe that God is in control, then wouldn't Terri be alive today...if that was His plan? Do you actually think that God is not powerful enough to keep her alive without the feeding tube? Where is your faith in God's omnipotence? I'm fairly sure that you would say that I am not a very GOOD Christian by your standards....mostly, I don't think I am all that good a Christian by my own. But I DO believe in God's omnipotence. Why don't you?
If Terri Schiavo's life should be prolonged by any means possible, no matter what the circumstances....no matter how long medical science has tried to correct her illness and been unsuccessful....if one should use whatever means that medical science affords to prolong life, to correct physical problems, then shouldn't one also be in favor of using whatever means that medical science affords to correct things like gender dysphoria? If a child is born into the physical body of a different physical gender than the actual gender OF the child, then shouldn't one be in favor of using medical science to correct the physical body that is wrong?
If it isn't appropriate to use medical science to correct things like gender dysphoria, then why is is appropriate to use medical science to correct things like heart defects? Club Foot {CONGENITAL TALIPES EQUINOVARUS)? Congenital birth defects?
I don't understand everything. Maybe I don't understand much of anything. But it seems to me that the so called "Christian Right" feels that it is imperative that we use medical science to correct any kind of physical problem that THEY think is the "right" kind of problem. If they don't understand it, it isn't appropriate. If they don't approve, it is wrong. I find their attitude to be totally inconsistant...not just with scripture, but with their own interpretation of scripture. For heaven's sake, could you please just make your mind up and STICK with it? I'd have some respect for you if you just eschewed medical science altogether, as some people do. I wouldn't agree with you, but at least I would feel that you are acting out of conviction instead of out of self-righteous interpretation of whose physical problems are valid and whose aren't. When did God give you the right to determine whose problems are "okay" and therefore valid for medical intervention and whose problems are "not okay" and therefore not eligible in your mind for correction? I must have missed the memo. I must have missed that in the scriptures.
I just don't "GET" it.
I don't really KNOW if what happened with Terri Schiavo was the right decision by the courts. I don't know if her parents were right about her husband just wanting to be rid of her, although I did read that he turned down a million dollars offered to him if he would just give up his rights to her care to her parents. This leads me to believe he just wanted her to be at peace. I don't know the people, I wasn't there and I wouldn't presume to have an opinion. I just wish that all these "Christian Right" people would just shut up about it being a Christian faith thing. Because, you know, it really isn't.
You know, I feel bad for the lady's family. I know that when my mom was terminal, toward the end when I knew she WAS near the end, I thought a lot about this. I knew she was going to heaven, and that I would see her again one day. I knew that the life she had was not the life she would choose. I knew that she couldn't read, couldn't knit, couldn't interact with anyone anymore, couldn't walk and talk and....really LIVE. Couldn't enjoy anything, really, that this earth had to offer. And yet, I didn't want to lose her. I was happy that she was going to be rid of the discomfort she was in, and that she would be going to a better place. STILL....I didn't want her to go. (She wasn't in great pain, just discomfort....maybe I would have felt differently if she had been in great pain.) For me, I would have happily continued caring for her AS SHE WAS for as long as I could still have my mom here with me. No matter how hard it was for my dad and me, I'd have happily continued doing whatever it took to keep her with me. Because I loved her, and I didn't want to lose her. Not EVER. She was still THERE, my mom....she was still inside of her debilitated body. Her mind was clear, in her eyes I could still see her....and she still saw me. It was just her body that had failed. Not her person. Not her love...not EVER her love. Nor mine.
But we are talking about six weeks. It was actually almost two years after her initial cancer diagnosis that she died, but six weeks after her terminal diagnosis. And during that six weeks, I watched her die. But I never lost her, I just lost her actively physical participation in my life. To me, I still had enough of her to make me not want to lose what I still HAD of her.
And you know what? It was selfish of me to feel the way I did. I know it now, and I knew it then. It was selfish of me to want to keep her here with me the way she was. She didn't WANT to be here anymore, not the way she was. She wanted to be free of her discomfort, the inability to really live her life. She wanted to go home to God. She had the right.
When she died, I was devastated. If she had to go, I was happy that she went to a better place. But I wanted her HERE. I couldn't pretend that it made me happy that she left me, no matter WHERE I knew she was. Maybe that makes me a bad Christian, but I don't think so. I think it makes me a daughter who loved her mother and didn't feel good about losing her from my present life.
I hope that if mom had been stricken with some other form of debilitating illness, I would have had enough love to let her go. Mom died with dignity, and I did what I could to give her that. I hope that if she had been in a situation like Terri Schiavo's, I would have become unselfish enough, with time, to give her that.
I feel for her parents, but I do not believe that they got past where I was when I was unwilling to let my mom go. I believe that they were selfish, and too caught up with their own grief in having lost her to allow her to die with dignity. I understand that. I hope and pray that if I were in their exact same situation, I would have been able to move beyond what *I* wanted...and been able to let my loved one go. I don't honestly know if I could have, but I can only hope and pray that I COULD. Because she certainly did not die with dignity, and I think that was the fault of her parents/family.
With the exception of her husband, of course. I do not pretend to understand how a man could spend eleven years caring for his wife, tending to her needs every day and hoping and praying that someday, in some way, she could regain some of her life.....and not lose my mind. Caring for her physical needs, trying to stimulate her mind, turning her so she wouldn't get bed sores....I think about how humiliating it must all have been for her, and I can only imagine how I would feel. I wouldn't want to stay alive if I couldn't contribute to society, and I know that there are ways to contribute that don't necessarily require active participation, but I don't think (from the little I know for sure) that she felt that she was doing so. At least not after some time elapsed. Maybe not from the very beginning, I don't know. I also don't know how long it would have taken for me, with mom the way she was near the end, to come to the realization that the "life" she had was NO life. But I sincerely hope that I would have done as he did. Tried for as long as I could to "bring her back" and then when it was evident that it wasn't going to happen, made the decision to NOT prolong her "life" by artificial means when she no longer HAD a real "life" and was certainly not ever going to HAVE a "life" anymore. Eleven years is, I think, a lot longer than almost any of us would have lasted before giving up hope. And for four more long years, he had to fight to let her go.
I think he did the right thing.
But here is the thing that really bothers me about all of this.
I am a fundamentalist Christian (by my own definition, which may not be the same as yours. It is certainly not the same as many other "Fundamentalist Christians". It is most certainly not the same as my definition of "fundies.")
I believe that God gave us the medical science to prolong life. 50 years ago, there would have been no means of prolonging this lady's life. The medical science that is available nowadays is awesome, and wonderful. Witness the medical miracle of EmmaKate, evilbeth's daughter. I bless the fact that the medical knowledge and technology is available that was able to save EmmaKate's life. 50 years ago, she wouldn't have made it. It makes me ill to think of that, so I don't. I just bless the fact that it was available for Emmy, and for so many others. But I also believe that ultimately, our lives are in God's hands.
To the people who say that "the courts killed Terri Schiavo", most of whom seem to be the "Christian Right" I say this. If it was in God's plan for Terri Schiavo to live, she would still be alive. She would have started eating on her own once the feeding tube was removed, or she would never have needed a feeding tube in the first place because she wouldn't have lost the ability to EAT in the first place. I don't believe in euthanasia because I DO believe that life is in God's hands. I don't believe in withholding medical help because I do believe that medical science came from God. I believe that as a society, we SHOULD use the medical science that has been given to us (a miracle of it's own, actually)....But ultimately, I believe that life IS in God's hands. God's ways are not our ways, and I don't pretend to understand them.
But the thing is, (to the "Christian Right").....could you start being consistent, okay?
If you actually believe that God is in control, then wouldn't Terri be alive today...if that was His plan? Do you actually think that God is not powerful enough to keep her alive without the feeding tube? Where is your faith in God's omnipotence? I'm fairly sure that you would say that I am not a very GOOD Christian by your standards....mostly, I don't think I am all that good a Christian by my own. But I DO believe in God's omnipotence. Why don't you?
If Terri Schiavo's life should be prolonged by any means possible, no matter what the circumstances....no matter how long medical science has tried to correct her illness and been unsuccessful....if one should use whatever means that medical science affords to prolong life, to correct physical problems, then shouldn't one also be in favor of using whatever means that medical science affords to correct things like gender dysphoria? If a child is born into the physical body of a different physical gender than the actual gender OF the child, then shouldn't one be in favor of using medical science to correct the physical body that is wrong?
If it isn't appropriate to use medical science to correct things like gender dysphoria, then why is is appropriate to use medical science to correct things like heart defects? Club Foot {CONGENITAL TALIPES EQUINOVARUS)? Congenital birth defects?
I don't understand everything. Maybe I don't understand much of anything. But it seems to me that the so called "Christian Right" feels that it is imperative that we use medical science to correct any kind of physical problem that THEY think is the "right" kind of problem. If they don't understand it, it isn't appropriate. If they don't approve, it is wrong. I find their attitude to be totally inconsistant...not just with scripture, but with their own interpretation of scripture. For heaven's sake, could you please just make your mind up and STICK with it? I'd have some respect for you if you just eschewed medical science altogether, as some people do. I wouldn't agree with you, but at least I would feel that you are acting out of conviction instead of out of self-righteous interpretation of whose physical problems are valid and whose aren't. When did God give you the right to determine whose problems are "okay" and therefore valid for medical intervention and whose problems are "not okay" and therefore not eligible in your mind for correction? I must have missed the memo. I must have missed that in the scriptures.
I just don't "GET" it.
I don't really KNOW if what happened with Terri Schiavo was the right decision by the courts. I don't know if her parents were right about her husband just wanting to be rid of her, although I did read that he turned down a million dollars offered to him if he would just give up his rights to her care to her parents. This leads me to believe he just wanted her to be at peace. I don't know the people, I wasn't there and I wouldn't presume to have an opinion. I just wish that all these "Christian Right" people would just shut up about it being a Christian faith thing. Because, you know, it really isn't.