Stuck in the paradise lost and found pile.
My ass is in Mexico, laid out on a boat with just me on it and a fully stocked bar. That leads me to the first question. The fuck am I doing typing on this shit? I was going through some old shit and found this interview with Pop from awhile back and I read it four times already. He and I are tight. Closer than me and my mom ever were. It ain't like I don't get along with her, 'cause I do. There's just this bond between my Dad and me. Shit, my mom dated Elvis! She dated Elvis, then got with my Dad and here I am. That's some crazy shit right there. I used to get impressed when she'd tell me stories about what it was like dating Elvis, but then I started watching my Dad and her old stories didn't phase me all that much after that. It's a pretty heavy article and he laid it all out. They don't get along. They can't even be in the same room and when I was growin' up, that would fuck with my head. But that changed, too. Back to the article. He said some shit in it that took me back and reminded me of who I am. He talked about when he was all fucked up on coke and I was like 15 years old and I went after the guy that was sellin' to him with a baseball bat. He left out the part of me actually catchin' him. That was before I got into acting and was just playing sports and tryin' not to flunk outta school. He coached me in basketball, baseball and soccer and people kinda thought they were gonna see me in the major leagues one day. I played some football in school, too, but that was mostly the coaches sending me in, this little runt with an attitude, to run people over.
He said something about the New York mentality and how even if I was raised in LA, I still got that New York mentality. You know what that is? You don't rat on people. You don't fuck over your friends. You don't betray your boys. If someone fucks with your friends, you make sure they don't do it again. You stand by your word. If you say you're gonna do something, you do it and if you say you ain't gonna do something, you don't do it either. Shit in LA is all watered down. Nobody raises their voices, unless they gotta tv camera in their face or you're in the hood. Hollywood's worse than LA. Everyone kissin' each other's asses to their faces, then turnin' around and talking shit and willing to fuck each other over to get some role in a movie or on the tv. There ain't ever gonna be any part that I'd want bad enough to screw over a friend for. You can apply that to pretty much anything in life. You don't fuck someone over for personal gain or to get something outta it. That's the lowest shit you can do. That strips you of your honor and your manhood and I ain't talkin' about your cock. I'm talking about manhood; what it is to be a man. Not a boy. I got that from Pop. It's how I was raised and brought up. You gotta have respect for people or you can't expect them to give it to you. You also gotta have respect for yourself and to fight for what you believe in. That's what I was doing when I took my bat to the ribs of that punk that night when I was a kid and I'd do it all over again.
I grew up in Hollywood. Pacino would come over for dinner with the Coppolas and it wasn't any big shit. They'd sit around pullin' down scotches, smoking cigars, playing cards and talking shit. You ever seen Good Fellas? Course you have. In my house, I was like Spider when everyone was over without the getting shot in the foot or blown away. Maybe that's why nothing about this town or business phases me. I got an award for Dallas 352 and my Dad being proud of me was all that mattered and having my boy, Shawn, there with me. Too many people believe their own press and start thinkin' their shit don't stink when it smells worse than the city dump. Those are the people I ain't got time for. Those are the ones I stay away from. When you start thinking you're something special, that's when it's time for a reality check.
I got good people around me now. I still fuck up and do some crazy shit that CERTAIN PEOPLE wag their finger at me for, but I mostly got my shit together. I like to get naked and run around for the hell of it, just cause the wind on my ass feels good. I have a habit of taking off when shit gets to be too heavy. That's why I'm in Mexico right now. I feel little better about it now, but that don't mean I'm gonna forget. I never forget, even when I'm drunk and trying to convince other gringos to put a flower pot on their head while I'm holding a broom handle 'cause they made a smart ass comment about Varsity Blues. It's fun. Like Tweeder would have said, "IT'S NIIIIIIICE!" Life ain't about sitting around and waiting for things to happen for me. It's about going out and doing it myself. I can be serious when I wanna be, but sometimes I don't want to. I'm done being an emotional train wreck and I'm ready to go back to being a smart ass.
Which leads me to some important shit. I challenged Brian Austin Green to a white boy rap-off next Friday and I know all your asses are gonna wanna be there to see it. I'm thinking we need cheerleaders and a band and the whole nine for when I school his ass.
Also, my father's half-Jewish and that means Rashida has to be nice to me now. She was even nice/crazy enough to send me a photo of her checking me out. It was agreed that she was probably drunk, but still, she was checkin' my shit out like I was motza ball soup.
Shit, what else I gotta talk about? Tijuana was something alright and I can't think of a better adjective than that. I drove to Baja to get away from that "something alright" and have been going from the bar to the boat all day. That's what I call diversity. OH AND I'M GOING TO VERA CRUZ SOON TO STORM CASA DE KAYAK.
I wish I'd remembered to save the chat from last night with the awkward questions, so everyone could learn about Marsden and his gloryholes. Instead, I'm gonna throw one out at everyone now and maybe Seann will follow up with another of his own.
Awkward Question of the Day: Who was the last person you thought about when you masturbated?
Both me and Rashida's moms have slept with Elvis. How great is that?
AMY SMART, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? YOU ARE MISSED A LOT.
He said something about the New York mentality and how even if I was raised in LA, I still got that New York mentality. You know what that is? You don't rat on people. You don't fuck over your friends. You don't betray your boys. If someone fucks with your friends, you make sure they don't do it again. You stand by your word. If you say you're gonna do something, you do it and if you say you ain't gonna do something, you don't do it either. Shit in LA is all watered down. Nobody raises their voices, unless they gotta tv camera in their face or you're in the hood. Hollywood's worse than LA. Everyone kissin' each other's asses to their faces, then turnin' around and talking shit and willing to fuck each other over to get some role in a movie or on the tv. There ain't ever gonna be any part that I'd want bad enough to screw over a friend for. You can apply that to pretty much anything in life. You don't fuck someone over for personal gain or to get something outta it. That's the lowest shit you can do. That strips you of your honor and your manhood and I ain't talkin' about your cock. I'm talking about manhood; what it is to be a man. Not a boy. I got that from Pop. It's how I was raised and brought up. You gotta have respect for people or you can't expect them to give it to you. You also gotta have respect for yourself and to fight for what you believe in. That's what I was doing when I took my bat to the ribs of that punk that night when I was a kid and I'd do it all over again.
I grew up in Hollywood. Pacino would come over for dinner with the Coppolas and it wasn't any big shit. They'd sit around pullin' down scotches, smoking cigars, playing cards and talking shit. You ever seen Good Fellas? Course you have. In my house, I was like Spider when everyone was over without the getting shot in the foot or blown away. Maybe that's why nothing about this town or business phases me. I got an award for Dallas 352 and my Dad being proud of me was all that mattered and having my boy, Shawn, there with me. Too many people believe their own press and start thinkin' their shit don't stink when it smells worse than the city dump. Those are the people I ain't got time for. Those are the ones I stay away from. When you start thinking you're something special, that's when it's time for a reality check.
I got good people around me now. I still fuck up and do some crazy shit that CERTAIN PEOPLE wag their finger at me for, but I mostly got my shit together. I like to get naked and run around for the hell of it, just cause the wind on my ass feels good. I have a habit of taking off when shit gets to be too heavy. That's why I'm in Mexico right now. I feel little better about it now, but that don't mean I'm gonna forget. I never forget, even when I'm drunk and trying to convince other gringos to put a flower pot on their head while I'm holding a broom handle 'cause they made a smart ass comment about Varsity Blues. It's fun. Like Tweeder would have said, "IT'S NIIIIIIICE!" Life ain't about sitting around and waiting for things to happen for me. It's about going out and doing it myself. I can be serious when I wanna be, but sometimes I don't want to. I'm done being an emotional train wreck and I'm ready to go back to being a smart ass.
Which leads me to some important shit. I challenged Brian Austin Green to a white boy rap-off next Friday and I know all your asses are gonna wanna be there to see it. I'm thinking we need cheerleaders and a band and the whole nine for when I school his ass.
Also, my father's half-Jewish and that means Rashida has to be nice to me now. She was even nice/crazy enough to send me a photo of her checking me out. It was agreed that she was probably drunk, but still, she was checkin' my shit out like I was motza ball soup.
Shit, what else I gotta talk about? Tijuana was something alright and I can't think of a better adjective than that. I drove to Baja to get away from that "something alright" and have been going from the bar to the boat all day. That's what I call diversity. OH AND I'M GOING TO VERA CRUZ SOON TO STORM CASA DE KAYAK.
I wish I'd remembered to save the chat from last night with the awkward questions, so everyone could learn about Marsden and his gloryholes. Instead, I'm gonna throw one out at everyone now and maybe Seann will follow up with another of his own.
Awkward Question of the Day: Who was the last person you thought about when you masturbated?
Both me and Rashida's moms have slept with Elvis. How great is that?
AMY SMART, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU? YOU ARE MISSED A LOT.