Yeah yeah yeah yank my hair and I'll do what you say

[scott_caan]

I would have updated sooner, but I have been again taken hostage and not permitted time near the computer. I can't go into a lot of detail 'cause I don't wanna be cut. She's packing some serious heat and my hands are burned all over.

I have been kidnapped by:
a) Aliens
b) Star Trek fans
c) Vegas hookahs
d) the Hare Krishnas
e) a hot brunette with a serious swing
f) All of the above and it's too crowded to get to my laptop

While being kidnapped, I have:
a) Gotten drunk
b) Had salt and lime licked off various parts of my person
c) Rode a horse naked and regretted it the next day
d) Worn a whip cream bikini for about... 5 minutes max
e) Run for President and won
f) Got lost and refused to admit I didn't know where we were

Within the next week, I will update because:
a) I have a lot to gloat and brag about
b) I'll be forced at gun point
c) I'll be forced at rolled up newspaper point
d) Don't fuck with Star Trek fans, aliens, Hare Krishna or Vegas hookahs
e) I will need oxygen by then
f) All of the above and it will be a really long update

I'm hiding bite marks where:
a) Neck
b) Back
c) Abs
d) Treasure trail
e) Inner thigh
f) All of the above and then some, so send me some damn clothes that aren't ripped, missing buttons or burned

And there you have it. The 5 minute update.