Been a while
So I haven't posted in a while, I know but here we go.
Schools....ok. I just wish I could find people in my life who didn't treat me like a friend one minute then like an outsider the next. I'd like to find friends for once in my life.
Show is going ok though I'm starting to realize I hate rehearsal. I really hate it. I feel useless this time. We'll see what happens when we get into tech and such but right now I feel like I could not be there and it would be ok.
I went to NYC on Saturday the tenth and was greeted with picket signs for my show. Funness. But I took pictures of a lot of theaters. Let me know what show and I can probably give you a picture. 27 shows on Broadway are on strik through at least the 25th of November. The stagehands haven't had a contract since July and producers want to cut down on the number of people they have to hire (though they make more than enough to cover who they do hire). Anyway, its a bit crazy. I don't like the little retard fan girls who go "OMG if I was like a stage hand I wouldn't like strike cause I'd like be sooooo happy!!" Yeah, happy to not have a contract? Happy to not be sure you;d have steady work because someone doesn't want to hire more than two people? Right. I hate people that don't get the issues involved.
I'm going back on Dec. 22 to see Spelling Bee because its closing.
I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach again. I wish I could describe but its hard. Its like this sense that everything isn't right if that makes sense. Its like its telling me everything I thought was true isn't. Its weird and it hurts and I want it gone. I hate when it appears, its like this dull ache that settles in my stomach an makes me feel miserable. I'd like to blame PMS but it shows up at any old time it wants to and now it does. I don't know what it is or why it's here but I wish it wouldn't come. I had a good month long depression back from mid-September through October. Nothing I did seemed good enough or right or anything. On top of that, I'm broke. I can barely pay my bills. I had to (and this pissed me off so much) ask my parents for money. I owe my grandmother 500 dollars and my parents 200 dollars. That doesn't help the ache. I wish I knew what was wrong. I wish I knew how to deal with it beyond seeing anyone as 1. I'm poor (see above). The school has a counseling center but you get 8 sessions and then they cut you off. I don't have the insurance to go private or to pay for any medication that might be need. and 2. I'm sure there are people with worse problems than low self-esteem because at one point people talked about you behind your back and you have a hard time making friends or trusting people or whatever.
Bah. Forgive the rant. My buddy list is quite sparce to talk to lately.
Schools....ok. I just wish I could find people in my life who didn't treat me like a friend one minute then like an outsider the next. I'd like to find friends for once in my life.
Show is going ok though I'm starting to realize I hate rehearsal. I really hate it. I feel useless this time. We'll see what happens when we get into tech and such but right now I feel like I could not be there and it would be ok.
I went to NYC on Saturday the tenth and was greeted with picket signs for my show. Funness. But I took pictures of a lot of theaters. Let me know what show and I can probably give you a picture. 27 shows on Broadway are on strik through at least the 25th of November. The stagehands haven't had a contract since July and producers want to cut down on the number of people they have to hire (though they make more than enough to cover who they do hire). Anyway, its a bit crazy. I don't like the little retard fan girls who go "OMG if I was like a stage hand I wouldn't like strike cause I'd like be sooooo happy!!" Yeah, happy to not have a contract? Happy to not be sure you;d have steady work because someone doesn't want to hire more than two people? Right. I hate people that don't get the issues involved.
I'm going back on Dec. 22 to see Spelling Bee because its closing.
I have that feeling in the pit of my stomach again. I wish I could describe but its hard. Its like this sense that everything isn't right if that makes sense. Its like its telling me everything I thought was true isn't. Its weird and it hurts and I want it gone. I hate when it appears, its like this dull ache that settles in my stomach an makes me feel miserable. I'd like to blame PMS but it shows up at any old time it wants to and now it does. I don't know what it is or why it's here but I wish it wouldn't come. I had a good month long depression back from mid-September through October. Nothing I did seemed good enough or right or anything. On top of that, I'm broke. I can barely pay my bills. I had to (and this pissed me off so much) ask my parents for money. I owe my grandmother 500 dollars and my parents 200 dollars. That doesn't help the ache. I wish I knew what was wrong. I wish I knew how to deal with it beyond seeing anyone as 1. I'm poor (see above). The school has a counseling center but you get 8 sessions and then they cut you off. I don't have the insurance to go private or to pay for any medication that might be need. and 2. I'm sure there are people with worse problems than low self-esteem because at one point people talked about you behind your back and you have a hard time making friends or trusting people or whatever.
Bah. Forgive the rant. My buddy list is quite sparce to talk to lately.