Beat around the bush long enough, and they'll be no bush

[scotopotomas]

if i choke enough bile down
perhaps my lungs will breathe again
once i've gotten through this tough stuff
the going gets easier

i thought that blood and tears
were all I'd pay
not the endless price of failure
not break my teeth on disappointment

but if this is my unruly fate
to find myself alone at last
in the last and longest hall of mirrors
at least i've got my pride

such a little thing to have left
but its weight is terrible to carry
if i threw it down do you think
i might just float away

memory claws at my mind
history hems me in
but i want a clean break
from all that fluff

i think that now
it would be enough
just to live for myself
all awards on the side

and if i don't hear my name cheered
at least i will have gained
the value of wisdom
for which you must trade time