What will be, will be.

[scotopotomas]

That's pretty easy reasoning to follow, and just about the sum of my knowledge about the world right now. What a topsy-turvy time, I feel like calm waves, or a tsunami. Updating just to update, just so I can look back some day and be quite sure that I survived this date. My imaginary life continues, and who in the world can ever understand how very precious it is to me. People feel that their own lives are special, blessed, unique, amazing, but its hard to imagine other people's lives meaning as much to them as mine does to me. This fragile sculpture, shaping up and up over the years, its head in the clouds and its feet upon the ground. How precious you are to me, non-descript life. How very unique and filled with palpable wonder, how strange that this should be, to me, so essential. How carefully guarded my commonplace emotions and childish crushes, because they are mine, exalted to idolatry. These memories, like those anonymous photos of people in picture frames, mean nothing to most people, but are the scattered pieces of myself. That I have made your sandwich, that I have beaten you at DOTA, that I have made you laugh, that I have loved you, this makes the unknown you, we... and we is one of my favorite groups of people.

Their expressions non-chalant,
The interest disguised,
possibly unreciprocated.
These casual observations,
are pillars of my memory,
The thrown-away expressions,
Sand dollars from forgotten summertimes.

To say something that makes you laugh,
is my greatest victory.
What could I do,
not to bore you.
How could I change,
to be what you're looking for.

And all of my attempts,
you call friendship.
I call failure.