I'd agree that you shouldn't just randomly go out and date the first girl you see, but I would still suggest that you not set the bar too high for dating--for permanent commitment, sure, but you can't possibly judge something like that before you start going out with someone. If there is something about someone that interests you to the point where you think it might be nice to have them as a friend, and you don't know of any "dealbreakers," I'd suggest checking it out. You'll learn a lot about what you're looking for really quickly. I went on several semi-dates at the start of college, and one brief relationship, and while none of them were valuable in that they amounted to anything, they did help me figure out things I was looking for and things that I hadn't realized I disliked in a romantic prospect. That's sort of what I meant by dealbreakers--if you really want a family, no point in dating a woman who feels children are a burden. If you love the countryside, you shouldn't look into someone who dreams of New York City. I'm not saying people can't compromise on the "big issues" because many couples obviously do, but I think it's also true that everyone has points where they don't want to compromise and you want to try to find out early on if there would be a huge point of conflict.
Were I you, I'd try to put myself in positions where I'd be likely to meet women of my age and get to know them a bit. School clubs/associations, study groups, maybe community theatre or community service? Class could work but in most classes you don't really get any time to talk.
If you find someone you're interested in, I wouldn't recommend "officially" asking them on a date right away. It will make it harder for both of you to relax and be yourselves, and also if you start officially dating you have to officially break up. It's easy to do things like "Hey, I was thinking of asking Jim, Joe and Cary if they wanted to see Superhero Movie... would you want to come too?" or "The Ethnic Festival's going to be downtown in a week... were you planning on going? I am, but it's more fun walking around with someone than by myself" or if you find out something she is interested in that you are also interested in, getting together to do that. "Oh, you're a Scrabble fan? I haven't had a good game of Scrabble in ages." ^_~ Offer her a ride to the library or Barnes and Nobles! This is kind of what I meant by semi-dates at the start of college. One guy gave me a ride to and from church a couple weeks, did a couple things with different groups where one particular guy asked me if I'd like to join them... stuff like that. My spark of interest mostly faded out for these guys on closer inspection, but there wasn't a huge emotional investment on either party's end so that was okay. =)
This advice is offered from my perspective on dating, which is that essentially its sole purpose is to help you find a person with whom you would consider making a lifelong commitment. You're welcome to e-mail me also, btw. =) Always happy to chat, either about the labrynthine ways of relationships or just about anything else. I haven't seen you online lately but I assume you were busy with the holidays... hope they went well for you!
Were I you, I'd try to put myself in positions where I'd be likely to meet women of my age and get to know them a bit. School clubs/associations, study groups, maybe community theatre or community service? Class could work but in most classes you don't really get any time to talk.
If you find someone you're interested in, I wouldn't recommend "officially" asking them on a date right away. It will make it harder for both of you to relax and be yourselves, and also if you start officially dating you have to officially break up. It's easy to do things like "Hey, I was thinking of asking Jim, Joe and Cary if they wanted to see Superhero Movie... would you want to come too?" or "The Ethnic Festival's going to be downtown in a week... were you planning on going? I am, but it's more fun walking around with someone than by myself" or if you find out something she is interested in that you are also interested in, getting together to do that. "Oh, you're a Scrabble fan? I haven't had a good game of Scrabble in ages." ^_~ Offer her a ride to the library or Barnes and Nobles! This is kind of what I meant by semi-dates at the start of college. One guy gave me a ride to and from church a couple weeks, did a couple things with different groups where one particular guy asked me if I'd like to join them... stuff like that. My spark of interest mostly faded out for these guys on closer inspection, but there wasn't a huge emotional investment on either party's end so that was okay. =)
This advice is offered from my perspective on dating, which is that essentially its sole purpose is to help you find a person with whom you would consider making a lifelong commitment. You're welcome to e-mail me also, btw. =) Always happy to chat, either about the labrynthine ways of relationships or just about anything else. I haven't seen you online lately but I assume you were busy with the holidays... hope they went well for you!
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